Do you call yourself a skier?

[altagirl]

I really struggle with this! When I don't have the energy to get out for whatever reason, I feel like I have to like... revisit my WHOLE IDENTITY. It's ridiculous. I basically moved out west and bought an additional condo to make skiing easier, but when I don't feel like going I'm immediately all WHAT IF I'M NOT REALLY A SKIER????

I went through this in a really terrible way after so many knee surgeries and having periods where it just hurt too bad to ski. Not skiing and biking when those are the things I used to define myself for so so long? It's how I met my husband. It's why we moved here. It was mentally traumatic. And while rehabbing I got really into yoga and took a yoga teacher training class. We were going around the room introducing ourselves and I said I was a mountain biker and skier and the teacher said no. No you're not. Those are things you like to do they are not who you are. And at the time I was like NO THOSE THINGS ARE WHO I AM! I was so wrapped up in making those things my whole identity that I couldn't fathom who I was if they weren't at the center of my life. And it was really good therapy for me to realize that she was right. I can ski or not ski and still be me (even if it's not skiing because I just don't feel like it.) And I definitely don't have to sit in the truck sobbing on days where my knees hurt too bad to ski more than a run or two, having an existential crisis on top of the physical pain. Thankfully that has improved, but that happened more times than I care to remember.

Don't get me wrong - if you are in a place where that's what you want to do, to define your whole existence as "SKIER!", just know that if you wind up in a place (mentally, physically, financially, whatever) where you can't be that person... it's okay. Even, if you just don't feel like skiing today, or in crappy weather, or when it's too cold, it's okay. You can even find other things in your life that bring you joy. The joy from skiing is marvelous, but it's terrible when you get hung up on thinking it's the only good thing in your life.

 

[lisaski]

Can I like your comment twice? I have these same crazy dreams before the season starts!

Haha!! Thanks. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.

 

[lisaski]

I dream about skiing all. The. Time.

Right on!

 

[NewEnglandSkier]

I've read some articles about elite athletes (any sport) who have trouble transitioning from elite athlete to normal citizen when it comes time to retire from competition. Understandably, their whole identity is so wrapped up in whatever their sport is that it really is a crisis for some when it comes time to step down and they often have identity issues during that time.

 

[Knitjenious]

I dream about skiing all. The. Time.

Now I am a little sad that I haven't had my first ski dream yet! (adding to my list of goals for next season ... )

 

[altagirl]

Now I am a little sad that I haven't had my first ski dream yet! (adding to my list of goals for next season ... )

I think this may be a whole other discussion, but DH and I have discussed this at length. I cannot remember EVER just having a dream where I was... doing anything just fun/normal/pleasant and it was going well without at least mixing up places and people and it just being surreal in general. I also rarely remember my dreams at all (definitely less than one every few months), so perhaps the "normal" ones are the one's that I don't remember, but the dreams I remember are always... weird. Examples:

- I go skiing, and halfway up the chairlift remember I forgot my skis (how the heck did I get on the chairlift?).

- I go skiing and it's a gorgeous snowstorm and half way up the chairlift it's summer. Now I'm trying to figure out how to offload the chair on skis when there isn't going to be any snow at the top.

- I'm at my great grandmother's house (but with a different grandparent's wallpaper) being chased by some armed intruder, climb out the window and my skiing buddies are all having a picnic (like the traditional closing day party) in the backyard. Well, okay....

DH thinks I need therapy because every night he has a dream where he's just skiing lovely powder, or riding a fantastic bike trail and everything is perfect. I honestly didn't even believe he was telling me the truth or thought he was talking about daydreaming (which of course I do that too...) until I found some other human who also dreams like that... So possibly I'm the weird one! But I thought everyone had strange dreams (otherwise why would anyone need any of the how to interpret your dreams nonsense.... if I just go skiing and it's fun every night there's not a lot to interpret?)

 

[Peppermint]

Anyone who says you can't call yourself a "fill in the blank" because you haven't achieved a high level of skill is full of crap. If you are doing it, you are one. I certainly call myself a skier even though no one will mistake me for Mikaela Shiffrin . And I have never dreamed about skiing

 

[Christy]

H thinks I need therapy because every night he has a dream where he's just skiing lovely powder, or riding a fantastic bike trail and everything is perfect. I honestly didn't even believe he was telling me the truth or thought he was talking about daydreaming (which of course I do that too...) until I found some other human who also dreams like that...

My money is on, these people are the outliers. I've never heard anyone say this.

 

[Christy]

I've read some articles about elite athletes (any sport) who have trouble transitioning from elite athlete to normal citizen when it comes time to retire from competition. Understandably, their whole identity is so wrapped up in whatever their sport is that it really is a crisis for some when it comes time to step down and they often have identity issues during that time.

That happens to a lot of people when they retire, too, right? Especially men, I think. If your identity is so much about one thing, whether it's athlete or recreational skier or doctor, I'm sure it's really hard to transition. I have to think professional athletes have it the hardest. To succeed they necessarily have to be so single-minded, but their bodies can't do it forever.

 

[lisaski]

I think this may be a whole other discussion, but DH and I have discussed this at length. I cannot remember EVER just having a dream where I was... doing anything just fun/normal/pleasant and it was going well without at least mixing up places and people and it just being surreal in general. I also rarely remember my dreams at all (definitely less than one every few months), so perhaps the "normal" ones are the one's that I don't remember, but the dreams I remember are always... weird. Examples:

- I go skiing, and halfway up the chairlift remember I forgot my skis (how the heck did I get on the chairlift?).

- I go skiing and it's a gorgeous snowstorm and half way up the chairlift it's summer. Now I'm trying to figure out how to offload the chair on skis when there isn't going to be any snow at the top.

- I'm at my great grandmother's house (but with a different grandparent's wallpaper) being chased by some armed intruder, climb out the window and my skiing buddies are all having a picnic (like the traditional closing day party) in the backyard. Well, okay....

DH thinks I need therapy because every night he has a dream where he's just skiing lovely powder, or riding a fantastic bike trail and everything is perfect. I honestly didn't even believe he was telling me the truth or thought he was talking about daydreaming (which of course I do that too...) until I found some other human who also dreams like that... So possibly I'm the weird one! But I thought everyone had strange dreams (otherwise why would anyone need any of the how to interpret your dreams nonsense.... if I just go skiing and it's fun every night there's not a lot to interpret?)

Totally relate! Like you, I only remember dreams infrequently and they are almost always weird. I don't know that it qualifies as needing therapy, but it would be very intriguing to know what some of them mean.

 

[skibum4ever]

@altagirl I have never had a normal ski dream. There's always an element of frustration such as missing my skis or my boots or being unable to access the chair.

I wonder why...

 

[newboots]

Dreams of being chased, frustrated, or thwarted are incredibly common. I don’t think they “mean” anything, except that stress tells its story differently in the night.

I am very conflicted about calling myself a skier. In idle conversation with non-skiers, I will say it as shorthand (such as this is why I hate to see the winter end), but I don’t generally say it around skiers. Instead I give that explanation about starting at 62, still working on intermediatecy, etc.

There is so much emphasis on skill and so much of the bro show-off culture. I don’t want to be found out. This is pretty sad, right?

Nevertheless, she persisted. !!

 

[BlueSkies]

I think this may be a whole other discussion, but DH and I have discussed this at length. I cannot remember EVER just having a dream where I was... doing anything just fun/normal/pleasant and it was going well without at least mixing up places and people and it just being surreal in general. I also rarely remember my dreams at all (definitely less than one every few months), so perhaps the "normal" ones are the one's that I don't remember, but the dreams I remember are always... weird. Examples:

- I go skiing, and halfway up the chairlift remember I forgot my skis (how the heck did I get on the chairlift?).

- I go skiing and it's a gorgeous snowstorm and half way up the chairlift it's summer. Now I'm trying to figure out how to offload the chair on skis when there isn't going to be any snow at the top.

- I'm at my great grandmother's house (but with a different grandparent's wallpaper) being chased by some armed intruder, climb out the window and my skiing buddies are all having a picnic (like the traditional closing day party) in the backyard. Well, okay....

DH thinks I need therapy because every night he has a dream where he's just skiing lovely powder, or riding a fantastic bike trail and everything is perfect. I honestly didn't even believe he was telling me the truth or thought he was talking about daydreaming (which of course I do that too...) until I found some other human who also dreams like that... So possibly I'm the weird one! But I thought everyone had strange dreams (otherwise why would anyone need any of the how to interpret your dreams nonsense.... if I just go skiing and it's fun every night there's not a lot to interpret?)

I don't think you're weird, I too only remember dreams that are not perfect (forgetting the skis, being late to the class etc...)

As for being a skier- If you put on skis and slide on snow, in my book you are a skier.

 

[snowski/swimmouse]

If you're having a good time on those skis I don't care whether it's real or dreamed; Have a blast!!!!!

It matters more whether you're having a blast or not!!!!! EEEK! Skimouse

 

[snowski/swimmouse]

Dreams of being chased, frustrated, or thwarted are incredibly common. I don’t think they “mean” anything, except that stress tells its story differently in the night.

I am very conflicted about calling myself a skier. In idle conversation with non-skiers, I will say it as shorthand (such as this is why I hate to see the winter end), but I don’t generally say it around skiers. Instead I give that explanation about starting at 62, still working on intermediatecy, etc.

There is so much emphasis on skill and so much of the bro show-off culture. I don’t want to be found out. This is pretty sad, right?

Nevertheless, she persisted. !!

Oh, newboots, you are one of us addicted without question.. Just give it up!!!

 

[WaterGirl]

I think its funny b/c I don't ever really call myself a "skier" -- skiing is my "hobby sport" and more of a life style choice than an identity.

 

[lisamamot]

I got really into yoga and took a yoga teacher training class. We were going around the room introducing ourselves and I said I was a mountain biker and skier and the teacher said no. No you're not. Those are things you like to do they are not who you are. And at the time I was like NO THOSE THINGS ARE WHO I AM! I was so wrapped up in making those things my whole identity that I couldn't fathom who I was if they weren't at the center of my life. And it was really good therapy for me to realize that she was right. I can ski or not ski and still be me (even if it's not skiing because I just don't feel like it.)

Oh, my, THIS! We have been living this with our daughter over the las year (soccer vs skiing). She started playing when she was 6 and went on to play in college, but had to retire from soccer after her sophomore year following 3 torn ACLs in 3 years (right, left, right). She would have kept playing if we let her, but she now accepts stopping was the right decision. Finding your identity outside of something you love and have aligned with for so long is hard work! She transferred colleges so she could get some distance from her passion and also would have the opportunity to find new passions. Passions plural is a good thing.

 

[Jilly]

I am a skier!

 

[Divegirl]

As for skiing - I don't consider myself a skier - it would be an insult to all skiers who have worked harder at becoming a skier than me. I learned in my mid-twenties (late for a New Englander), was taught by a friend, have had very few lessons, still can't figure out what to do with my poles, lived in an area for 15 yrs where I was lucky to ski 1/yr. I just ski - for fun and the amusement of others.

That being said - this topic and some of the comments hit me hard as I'm current dealing the loss or potential loss of a sport/hobby/passion I have enjoyed for 30+ yrs - my DH and dive buddy is planning on giving up diving. In May I will have been certified for 40 yrs and actively diving for over 30 yrs. I have been going back and forth between sad, angry, frustrated, confused, feeling empty (but I'm Divegirl!). I'm not ready to give up diving and underwater photography (I just upgraded my camera last March and it hasn't done 1 dive). My DH is in a different place than I am health and age-wise - I realize I have to accept and come to terms with his decision but it may take awhile. I keep hoping he has 1 more year in him since our last trip was a bit of disaster diving-wise. I would like to go out on a high note. I will continue to snorkel and work on photography as a snorkeler. I'm also looking into becoming a certified Solo Diver. Right now it still hurts too much.

It is amazing how we identify ourselves by what we do - I went through the same thing years ago when I lost my job. I had to figure out who I was since I was no longer a chemist or a well respected expert in my field. Now I'm no longer a SCUBA diver so I have figure out who I am all over again.

Sorry for the rant about diving on ski board.

 

[snowski/swimmouse]

@Divegirl : I'm sorry that you're in this situation...