Head Games

[ski diva]

So who here has had a massive mind melt-down on the slopes?

I've always felt that skiing is a big percentage mental. If you're frightened, you're going to have problems. That's why Mermer Blakeslee's book, The Yikes Zone, is so popular.

Well, guess what -- I had a kind of melt-down myself just the other day. I wrote about it on my blog, if you care to look.

Basically, I froze on a double black here at Solitude. It was very steep and narrow, with trees and rocks. Nonetheless, everyone else got down fairly easily. I looked across the canyon, saw (what I perceived to be) this massive wall of rock towering above on the other side, and came down with a serious case of vertigo. I did finally get myself moving, but it wasn't pretty. And I was both freaked out and humiliated by the entire incident.

This has never happened to me before.

So now it's messing with my mind. I have to get by this!

This fear stuff stinks.

 

[MaineSkiLady]

Just read the blog. Where were you, Honeycomb? That whole canyon is - esp if there hasn't been any freshies.

Guess you've just been re-familiarized, after skiing for so many years, of what a lot of the newer skiers here have to go through with every new milestone: first black, first bump run - even the first chairlift ride.

And the break-it-down-into-pieces philosophy is one that DH has been teaching for years. He has talked me down more gnarly stuff than I could possibly list or even remember. The "focus" aspect is probably the most important. It's not what's across the canyon. It's what's 8 feet ahead of you. One edge set. One turn. Breathe.

My current fear has an altogether different source, and I now have to start dealing. Problem is, I may not be able to get back on the horse til next season, which isn't my preference - but may be medically mandated.

I've learned to deal with myself and the mountain, with DH's focus philosophy burned into my brain. But----how to cope with my now-fear of the carelessness of others. That's a variable I haven't quite figured out yet.

So glad you overcame! Now get out there, cruise, smile, and party on! You did it!

 

[vanhoskier]

It's happened to me a couple of times.

And BTW, I melt down pretty easily on any double-black!

I remember a beautiful morning at Killington, new snow, hardly any crowds. I was skiing with a small group of friends. Conditions were perfect and I was stoked. (What I didn't realize was how tired I was from skiing the day before).

I charged down a groomed black, carving turns at high speed, and suddenly caught an edge. I fell and slid down the rest of the hill backwards at a pretty good clip. THAT didn't scare me; I was laughing. But when I got up to put my skis back on, my head was KILLING me. I must have whacked it pretty hard. And, all of a sudden, the smile left my face and I started to cry.

Used to shaking things off, I skied to the intersection of another run where my friends were heading down. It was a blue, bumped up really nice from the last night's heavy snowfall. It was a run that normally I would have thought fun, even if I couldn't ski it pretty. But I was terrified. My skis wouldn't turn. I had to bail out and ski down an easy blue with my DH, down to the base lodge. I was done for the day.

So, yes, it's happened. And it's like the fear takes over, and even though you know what you need to do, your mind will simply not control your body the way it's supposed to. Even though I did hurt my head in that fall, most of my inability to ski afterwards was mental, not physical.

 

[ski diva]

Just read the blog. Where were you, Honeycomb? That whole canyon is - esp if there hasn't been any freshies.

No, it was at Navaronne.

 

[MaineSkiLady]

My last meltdown was last April at Saddleback, ME, when we ventured into a completely wind-scoured and therefore solid ice run, from which there was no immediate escape. I mean rock solid blue, and then icy bumps. I was lucky that my "conscience" (DH) was with me to do the "focus-8 ft" drill for the 1,000th time. Took me 20 minutes to get down it (probably 5 in better conditions). I was exhausted.

This has to happen to us all, and probably on a regular basis - or maybe I should speak for myself??

 

[vanhoskier]

I was lucky that my "conscience" (DH) was with me to do the "focus-8 ft" drill for the 1,000th time.

What's the "focus-8 ft." drill? Sounds like something I'd need from time to time.

 

[SnowHot]

SD, I think we've all had a melt down from time to time.
The good news is, you did it! You did a double black in Utah, that was over your head and YOU'RE HERE TO WRITE ABOUT IT!

The sig I adopted here just before Stowe is the mantra that I chanted to myself over and over.............
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it!

Now, go back and do that DD again! Conquer it!
* Disclaimer-its easy for me to say Conquer from the comfort of my office chair. ;)

 

[MaineSkiLady]

What's the "focus-8 ft." drill? Sounds like something I'd need from time to time.

Ski Diva gets into this concept in her blog entry about the experience. As for me, when I get the freezes (and am lucky enough to have my personal ski instructor noting tendency), we stop, I breathe. He then does a single, slo-mo turn (man, is he good at slo-mo). I am watching the edge set and turn radius, also the fact that he was successful (as usual.. ). I'm not looking much past around 8 ft, plus or minus.

Gradually, the distance lengthens. Especially if I'm in an icy mine-field, he'll stretch it to 2 turns, then 3. I'm watching all that I mentioned above, just more of it.

Once I have survived, we discuss what aspects of my mimicry were successful and which need work (usually arms/hand placement, fore/aft balance).

How fortunate I am to have mini-private lessons on call. There are advantages to marrying the ski instructor!

 

[NannyMin]

You are in good company Ski Diva! I think we have all BTDT at one point or another.

My big freeze moment was last season at the Yellowstone Club. I was skiing with an instructor and she convinced me that my last run of the day should be Elevator Shaft, a double black diamond chute that has a scary cornice entry. So, anyways as we were headed up the lift, I think she could tell I was getting freaked out. I assured her that I was fine (wrong move ). As it turned out we were the last people up on the top of the mountain and the lift closed after we got off. As we skied over to the chute, I could feel myself getting more and more anxious. Finally, we stopped and gazed down at the chute. I turned to my instructor and said, "I cannot do this". For those of you who don't know me, I NEVER say that. This just goes to show you what a grip fear had on me. She eventually convinced me that there was no other way, since the lift was closed. She hucked off the cornice and I very reluctantly followed. It was a pretty ugly run for me, but, I made it down and went back several times and did it again throughout the season. I absolutely hate being scared and will repeatedly recreate the situation that I was scared of, until I'm not scared anymore.

I think that you are right, moving is key in this type of situation.

 

[SuperMoe]

MSL...just curious...has your DH ever had a "freeze" moment?

 

[Ski Spirit]

Well I am definitely familiar with the concept of freezing.
I've been shocked when I've been able to do a run w/a grouop and then come back to it w/DH and completely froze just as SD described. But I kept coming back and each time (so far) got over the fear.

Last Monday, I did my first black diamond run!!!! Ok, it was at Northstar, but it still counts. I was ecstatic! But just as MSL describes, I focused on the next one/two turns and not on the whole scene and I was concentrating on my turns...so it actually didn't feel that much different to me (it was a step up from the runs I'd been doing but not an extreme change). One of the things that my instructor did that helped me was to traverse the first 500 ft. According to him, that gives your body a chance to acclimate to the steepness. That was the section of the hill that I was holding my breath on but once I started turning and felt good.....child's play (at least this time).

 

[persee]

I've been getting better at not having these types of freezeups on teh ski slope - There have been other life situations where I'm not so controlled. With skiing I've gotten used to just telling myself "I CAN do this" and then repeating it as I ski wherever I was afraid. Usually about halfway through I stop repeating and start feeling the rush of having done it so far. After this point even if I fall I can manage.

However there are a lot of times when I can just work up the fear of doing somethign so much in my head that no matter how bad the consequences I have a hard time doing it. And often times it's something simple to do, and the reward is high, but I work my fear up to the point where it doesn't matter. It's really amazing what we can do to ourselves via our own minds.

 

[Pequenita]

Oh, man, I didn't realize how much that run bothered you! I thought you were just being melodramatic like me. Btw, we were in Honeycomb Canyon, out the Navaronne gate. I think the thing to keep in mind in that area is that there are a zillion ways to go down the mountain, and you don't always need to take the steepest way. There are options, and if you need to, you pick your way through. It's one or two turns at a time, breathe, turn, turn, crater (that's me falling), stand up, breathe, turn, turn, turn.

FWIW, while you were in the other chute, I told Lola's son that "I didn't want to turn" -- I would have been perfectly fine winding down and cutting switchbacks, essentially. And then I thought, "Eff it. I'm going down." And then I went back to cutting wide swaths.

I know you wrote something about not letting anyone push you to do something you're not comfortable with, which I think is valid, but some of my skiing confidence is derived from people who ski with me believing/knowing I can do something and when I see people around my skill level or lower being able to ski something. Weird, huh?

 

[Lori_K]

Yup, been there, done that too. In fact, I have to deal with this fear on a nearly weekly basis. Taos is loaded with steep (45 degree), narrow double-black chutes. I stand at the top and feel the adrenaline and fear rising. I have to force myself to make one turn, then the next. I get halfway down and have to stop because I feel like I'm going to throw up. (Sound familiar?) When I finally make it down, I'm usually exhausted and have to rest a bit to calm myself.

I keep doing these runs, hoping that one day they will become as comfortable and second nature as the blue runs. I still "freeze" on occasion in new areas, in new situations. I blame it on living the first 34 years of my life in Illinois, where I was never exposed to mountains, or anything steep!!

 

[MaryLou]

Just two weeks ago...

We had a rare day skiing with no kids, we're both life long skiers and go everywhere together. We've been itching to do some back country stuff we knew existed at Sunday River, but would never do alone or with the kiddos. So we took a run into the woods. We used to do this alot pre-kids, we'd just get bored of groomers after awhile, so it was no biggie. Pre-kids was 13 winters ago...

The beginning was great, soft, not too thick. Then the trees got thicker, it got steeper, narrower and icier. One bad move, and you were headed into a tree. I did almost kill myself by flying into thick dead horizontal branch that would have hit my neck or face at full force - but was able to stop myself with my hands/arms. That's when I had the 'wtf was I thinking' moment and pictures of leaving my kids motherless. I knew where we were on the mountain - between trails, so it wasn't like the outlet was going to be miles away or somewhere deserted, but this sudden fear just took over. And it was compounded by the fact that if I did get hurt - I'd really feel bad for doing what I did and making someone have to rescue me in thick woods (never injured myself in 35 years of skiing...so I rarely consider how an injury would affect me lol). I'm rarely scared by much - my skis grip any ice/crud that New England can toss them, so I always have 100% confidence I can manage, even if it's ugly. But having to thread a needle through those woods was the scariest thing I've ever done. I had to just have DH wait and let me go cross-ways backwards to make it down the tiny steep icy trail. BTW - the outlet was a crusty double black mogul run under a chair lift - seemed like a breeze compared to what I just went through.

So what do I do? Let DH convince me to do it again later that day in another area...we got some awesome, beautiful powder, quiet and views...but again that sinking feeling of wtf was I thinking?! He owes me...

 

[skigrl27]

But don't you feel GREAT now that you've done it? Like...you've overcome it & are that much further along in the mental game!

I've been at this point a few times this season. Early in the season mostly. Now that I've skied the hardest of hard at my home mountains - my head is in a much better place. Like "hey, I've done this already - so I know I CAN." The first time down any unfamiliar & super hard terrain is always a little scary....as it SHOULD be. Caution saves accidents & potentially dangerous situations.

However, that being said...once I know the layout and what I'm in for...it's on like Donkey Kong!!

 

[SkiNurse]

Know the feeling well...and it doesn't happen to me on unknown runs.

I freeze EVERY time on the cornice on Iron Mask in Vail and on Palivicchini @ A basn.

Have I ever had a bad fall in these areas? No. Can I ski them? Yes.

It is totally a head thing. Once I get going, it is fine. But, it might take me more than a few minutes for that first turn.

 

[Sheena]

Wow. Congrats on conquering that double black at Solitude!

I hope to be there next season.

I definitely suffer from "head games". Little by little, I am getting there.

Last year at Solitude I crashed into a pine tree on the side of one of the black groomers. I lost a pole and took out quite a few branches from the pine tree as I used it as a crutch to keep myself from careening further into the side of the slope and keep myself up right. (Tim says all he saw was an explosion of pine). This year, I went back to Solitude and was really hesitant to try that slope. To my surprise, it was much easier this time, and I almost thought it was a different slope!

That feeling of paralyzing fear sucks. I have been in that position many times...when I feel like my legs lock up on me and I just.can't.move.

What I try to do is focus on the accomplishment of skiing something challenging ... even if it was not great form, even if I feel silly for letting my fear take over.... it is still an accomplishment that will move my skiing forward. For me, focusing on the fact that I accomplished something helps.

 

[NewEnglandSkier]

Yeah, last year at Stowe I had a melt down experience. It wasn't on any double black though-- it was on a blue! Anyway, last year was my first year skiing any blue trails and I had only done the very easiest of them at several different areas. So, I take this group lesson at Stowe (where they mis-leveled me to a higher group than I should have been in-- despite my explaining my abilities and having a ski off, they put me in a group with people who'd been skiing 5-8yrs-- I'd only been skiing a year.)
Anyway, we do a number of blue trails on Spruce Peak which I was fine with, though they were challenging and I couldn't ski as fast as the others. Then we get to Main Street. It starts out as a normal blue, but in the middle section is a steep headwall area that could probably actually be considered black. We stop at the top of this section and the instructor starts talking. Just seeing the steepness of it causes me to fall down as I come to stop (embarassing). So then everybody else takes off down the slope and I'm left at the top panicking and hyperventilating to myself-- very close to tears-- just wondering how I am going to make it down. I must have stood there for 5 minutes thinking about all my options (including the really stupid ones like taking off skis to walk down or wait for ski patrol to come get me on a sled or snowmobile). Finally, my head cleared a little and I decided the best choice for me was to side slip most of the way. I'm not proud of the fact that I wasn't able to ski down it, but at least I didn't have to take one of the even more embarassing options that went through my head.

I hate the fact that I can allow fear to take over my mind like that. I try to talk myself out of the fear when it enters my mind and sometimes when it's just a nagging doubt I can do it, but when it's all encompassing like it was that day at Stowe, I really freak out. People have told me that I could ski something like that or harder, but that it's in my mind that I can't. I have a real problem when something looks steep to me; I just don't like to commit to letting the skis turn down the fall line even if it's to make lots of short turns.

 

[Little Lightning]

I can't think of a ski area that this hasn't happened to me! Unfamiliar terrain, a sweeping view, steepness, etc. I have no control over it, I become totally overwhelmed, start shaking then crying. I cannot focus or move. It comes on unexpectedly and no matter how many times I tell myself I won't let it happen.

Last week at Keystone it happened again. My SO and I had decided we were going to do a run called Powder Cap. It's rather steep and bumpy but we know where to enter it lower so it isn't so bad. Then our friends decided to do a run underneath the lift. Why? I don't know because all they ski is groomed. So my SO wanted to do it too!

The top was flat and the snow was very good. I happily jumped into it, relieved to be away from the skied off Starfire. The snow was nice and I was enjoying myself until I realized how steep it was. There was a huge crevice below me and the mtn peaks rose on the other side. Before I knew it I was bending over my poles, shaking and crying. I sobbed for about 5 minutes. During that time I totally withdrew into myself. There was no "nag" saying that I couldn't do this, etc. It was just something coming from deep inside of me that I couldn't control.

I eventually started skiing and tried to focus on one turn at a time. But the beautiful snow turned into some kind of monster. The bumps seemed to grow with every turn. I couldn't relax, I fought every turn. I finally gave up and side stepped my way down until I was in my comfort zone and could ski again.

The couple with us skied to the bottom and politely waited. My SO stayed above me but said nothing.

Afterwards, on the lift, they all said it "scard them too". I shook and silently cried all the way up the chair. I then went to lunch, regained my composure and spent the afternoon skiing an easy tree run and a nice blue bump run. We didn't see the other couple the rest of the day.

What happened? According to Mermer Blakesly I had 5 things against me, unfamiliar terrain, the view, the snow conditions, my nervousness about doing it, and the group synergy (very unsupportive).

The bottom line is that I didn't listen to my body, there was no time. Afterward, I felt tricked because I got off the chair expecting to do Powdercap and then at the last minute the others made a decision without giving me time to think it through.