Abandoning/pushing beginners

[bounceswoosh]

That's awful, I'm so sorry to hear that happened to your husband. I'll mention that to my friends. I think it's odd how they've conveniently forgotten how hard it is to learn, and just assume everyone should jump on a board and head down a slope. I couldn't even stand the first day I tried to snowboard.

Some people really do believe in "sink or swim" - even literally, for swimming lessons.

 

[2ski2moro]

That is sad, 2. Maybe he'd feel better skiing on less crowded days, mid-week?

Gore is not at all crowded on the weekdays. It would be perfect, he has vacation time and the ability to take a day here and there, but he's lost interest.

I'm going to Austria again this year. It's my 4th year there, but he won't join us. I go with our friends, not my DH. He isn't interested. And it's not the money. Last year, he had a business trip to Spain the week before our Austrian trip. He could have flown over (company paid), worked the week, flown to us for $69 round trip and taken a week or two of vacation to ski with us. No interest at all.

I just have to give him time and hope it changes. That accident really got into his head. In the meantime, I don't want to be mean, but I'm not letting his problem be mine. I will keep skiing as much as I can, encouraging, but not demanding, that he comes along. He knows that he can join me when he is ready.

 

[bounceswoosh]

I just have to give him time and hope it changes. That accident really got into his head. In the meantime, I don't want to be mean, but I'm not letting his problem be mine. I will keep skiing as much as I can, encouraging, but not demanding, that he comes along. He knows that he can join me when he is ready.

That's not mean, and everybody processes an accident differently. Getting hit by another person really messes with your sense of control, and if you don't have at least the illusion of control while skiing, how can you possibly enjoy it?

I've never been hurt by another person like that, but I've had accidents that left me uninterested in that activity for quite a while. It never *felt* like I was avoiding it, either - it was just never something I particularly wanted to do. Unfortunately, with mountain biking, I've found my best cure is a new fancy mountain bike ... then I kind of blame the old one and start fresh. Of course your husband can't do anything like that to shake it off.

 

[2ski2moro]

Maybe he could get new skis? I gave him a gift certificate for new boots two years ago. Not enough mojo in the new boots.

 

[Fluffy Kitty]

Maybe he could get new skis? I gave him a gift certificate for new boots two years ago. Not enough mojo in the new boots.

Retail therapy could work. Confidence therapy, probably needed, too, so if he could get some skis that make him feel fly again...

 

[bounceswoosh]

But really only if it comes from him. My two cents.

 

[altagirl]

Honestly, I'm probably in that category. I still ski, but I'm not interested in yet another knee surgery , so it's not nearly as fun as it was back when I felt invincible. I'll ski 15 days a year or so now, but it's a fraction of what I used to. I have also found I now find just as much enjoyment in things like yoga and dance and don't want to miss out on those because I hurt myself skiing (yet) again.

My accidents were all my own fault, but I know the feeling of scaling back to avoid the same consequences. It's worked for me to learn to enjoy skiing at an easier level. But back when I wanted to ski all the time, a lot of my drive was to improve constantly and keep feeding my ego with new accomplishments. After my 5th knee surgery , I was over pushing myself and it was time to adapt to something safer and with fewer consequences. Admittedly, skiing is not as appealing overall as it used to be, and many times, my other activities are now more fun than skiing. I never thought I'd say that. But I'm glad my husband has been understanding. I can't just flip a switch and ski like I used to again. And I don't really want to. I kind of feel like I stepped off of the rollercoaster of highs and lows and it's an improvement for me, even though my husband misses the old me, who was more gutsy and risk taking and overstoked for powder days. (Though I don't think he misses the depressed me that he had to deal with on off days when I didn't feel like I was skiing well and in between powder days...) The new me that's generally happy all the time instead is probably an improvement overall.

 

[altagirl]

So I guess I'd suggest too that you make sure he knows you'd be happy with any skiing with him and don't only miss what he used to be able to do. (Assuming that is true. If not, find other people to ski with and let him enjoy whatever else he likes these days.)

I know for DH and I, our real bottom line is that we will not prevent the other from skiing or whatever activities bring us joy. Togetherness is great, but not required all the time.

 

[bounceswoosh]

Pushing - it's not just an issue with beginners!

 

[Mary Tee]

I was also hit from behind by an out of control skier. He broke my leg (in 3 places) and I was casted for 12 weeks, ankle to hip for 6 of those 12. It happened in early April, and I will never forget the following year...every time someone came anywhere near me from behind I would practically freeze. I spent a lot of time hugging the side of every run I went down. It took almost 2 years before I stopped flinching every time someone came too close, but I eventually got past it. I think the difference was I was very motivated to get past that fear. Time may help, but if you can get him out there once in a while on really nice midweek days, I think it will help more. For me, the fear I imagined before hand was much worse than the fear once I started to ski again.

 

[surfsnowgirl]

I've been hit from behind at least 3 times that I can recall and it's jarring. Fortunately none resulted in injuries but what it did result in was a paranoia about who's behind me and how fast are they going. While this didn't affect my desire to ski but it just made me even more cautious and even slower. I am continuing to work on this with my fear issues and am more addicted to sking than ever but for some I truly understand how it can hinder your desire to ski.

DH loves to ski but not as much as me so I just don't force him if he's not feeling it that weekend. Off I go, have a blast and we're very happy to see each other when I return. I do enjoy when we ski together but I've learned to accept that there are times he's not into it and that's ok.

@2ski2moro Hope your guy and you have some more enjoyable times on the slopes.

 

[nopoleskier]

Wow some scarey stories here! I've only had 1x at Mt snow a guy came next to me. Almost locked boots. Since I had no poles I pushed him away. We were almost to the lift in line I asked him wth was that.. he said. You were making too many turns! I reminded him the downhill skier has the right of way. He started swearing. The lifty came out had seen the incident and punched his ticket and told him he would be banned if any more incidents.. I too know too many that take skiers not ready for a trail.. why As PSIA instructor I always teach side stepping down the side of a trail and the skier code..

 

[bounceswoosh]

I have been hit a few times, once a pretty big impact, but none with permanent damage. I did bail early after the big one.

 

[Jilly]

I was teaching a few years ago a women that just didn't seem to under that you need to stand up and slide. She would just fall over. Not tripping on her skis, just not doing the work to remain upright. So I would not let her off the bunny hill. Well 3 night lessons later, still not getting there, she wanted to go up the lift. Now we're only 200' of bump. So I'm thinking, should I shouldn't I. Well maybe it'll scare the bejesus out of her and she'll get to understand. She was hazard to herself and others. There is a tiny (as in narrow) beginner run off the top. So we get up, she falls getting off the chair lift. She takes a good 20 min to come down this 200 vertical run, with the racers - chasers taking all of 2 sec to lap her. We have a special way we lead people down this run so they don't careen off the embankments and trees. So she was safe in the front as I was leading. Down and up I don't know how many times. Didn't seem to understand that this was all wrong. I should never have taking the carrot away, that ride up the chairlift instead of the handle tow. Should have demanded that she can't go up till her can ski the whole bunny run without falling over. I got hurt the next weekend and couldn't continue with the lessons. I did see one other instructor trying to teach her, having exactly the same problem. Some people just shouldn't try to learn this sport.

Skier's responsibility code is one part of the first lesson when you teach beginners. And at Tremblant it's on EVERY napkin/serviette in the place.

 

[nopoleskier]

Too many Don't know the skier code I used to see it on the left towers. Cool tremblant puts it on paper products.

 

[surfsnowgirl]

I've only been teaching for 1 season but I always stress control and THE code. Having been mowed down several times by irresponsible boarders makes this an especially important topic for me.

I have been known to shout out after reckless folks that have passed me unsafely.

Too many people don't know the code or they know it but don't care. Someone in a ski shop was telling me he knew someone at Jiminy Peak who had their lift ticket taken away due to recklessness. I love that they don't screw around there about that stuff.

I love the code being printed on paper/service products.

 

[nopoleskier]

Too many Don't know the skier code I used to see it on the left towers. Cool tremblant puts it on paper products.

Lift towers.. It is on our ski passes and daily tickets. Many novices don't have a clue sadly

 

[Jersey Fresh]

@dancingspark I have one semi-bro dude friend who has that same attitude. He was telling our other friend (another super bro-dude) that the only way to get good is to ski blacks and just go down them. That friend has more balls than brains and almost got himself killed at ABasin cutting off into a gladed run (as I was saying "I dont know if thats a good idea... my dad kept saying AB is pretty tough..." as he skied off from us).

I can ski circles around these guys, so I just stay behind them, make sure they don't die and find NSP when they do crash.

When I'm not around they have tried to drag my hubby down stuff he shouldn't be doing and he is luckily smart enough to say no, but then they leave him behind which really sucks.

 

[MissySki]

I was teaching a few years ago a women that just didn't seem to under that you need to stand up and slide. She would just fall over. Not tripping on her skis, just not doing the work to remain upright. So I would not let her off the bunny hill. Well 3 night lessons later, still not getting there, she wanted to go up the lift. Now we're only 200' of bump. So I'm thinking, should I shouldn't I. Well maybe it'll scare the bejesus out of her and she'll get to understand. She was hazard to herself and others. There is a tiny (as in narrow) beginner run off the top. So we get up, she falls getting off the chair lift. She takes a good 20 min to come down this 200 vertical run, with the racers - chasers taking all of 2 sec to lap her. We have a special way we lead people down this run so they don't careen off the embankments and trees. So she was safe in the front as I was leading. Down and up I don't know how many times. Didn't seem to understand that this was all wrong. I should never have taking the carrot away, that ride up the chairlift instead of the handle tow. Should have demanded that she can't go up till her can ski the whole bunny run without falling over. I got hurt the next weekend and couldn't continue with the lessons. I did see one other instructor trying to teach her, having exactly the same problem. Some people just shouldn't try to learn this sport.

Skier's responsibility code is one part of the first lesson when you teach beginners. And at Tremblant it's on EVERY napkin/serviette in the place.

I'm not sure I understand the sentiment that "some people just shouldn't try to learn this sport" though.. Is that for anyone to decide except the student? I would think from the description of what was happening with this particular student that it was in fact someone who really wanted to learn the correct way of doing things and was quite dedicated since they were taking multiple lessons, but obviously there was some disconnect of how to do that or perhaps some physical issue that wasn't known.. who knows what it might be, snowsports are hard and there are so many variables mentally and physically. What seems or feels obvious to one person could be completely different to someone else who is just starting out. In that case though if they were very unsafe to themselves and others it seems to me that they should have been held on the bunny hill indefinitely until such a time when they could be safe elsewhere. Who is creating the unsafe environment in that case? I'd argue it to be the instructor (no offense) and not the student. Scaring her into understanding seems like something everyone on this thread is saying is the wrong thing to do when people take beginners to terrain they are not ready for, this seems a strange approach for an instructor to take no? I don't think people should be written off if they just don't get it for awhile, if they are willing to stick with it and pay for lessons then they have every bit as much right as anyone to learn even if that means it's the bunny hill for a really long time with goals they need to meet before they are allowed off of it.

 

[santacruz skier]

On the back side of Heavenly at the very bottom, there is a board showing the number of skiers losing passes due to reckless skiing/riding.. By the end of the season that number is in the hundreds .. The non reckless skiers are a worry as well skiing very slowly on a steep run smack in the middle in a big traverse .. This can be dangerous for everyone as skiers are whizzing by..