How are you staying motivated to keep fit?

[mollmeister]

For the first time in maybe 13-14 years, I am pretty unmotivated for general fitness and training. :(

A few factors, most of them kid-related:

Most important, my in-gym and repetitive training has always been in training for something mountain-focused, namely skiing or snowshoeing or climbing or hiking. I am very outdoorsy and love to push myself in the mountains, so when I hit the gym or did lots of plyos, it was always with the goal of bettering my skiing or pushing the hiking (we used to do a lot of very long distance day and overnight hikes in the summer) or climbing to the next level.

Well, now we have two little kids, one and four. This ski season is ending, and although we did OK getting out there, I am now understanding the great monetary cost of getting kids cared for and taught. (My mom is no longer so willing to be the designated kid watcher, now that there are two-- a moody 4yo and an into-everything 1yo.) I am seeing that the logistics and the sheer volume of STUFF is so much greater. And I am wondering how long we're going to be able to keep this pace up if we don't move to a mountain town. And it's not even the 20 or 30 or 35 day pace of the *old days.* Getting what will probably turn out to be 16 or 17 days in this season has taken an almost Herculean effort on my part.

As for hiking, well, let's just say that carrying a wiggly, 35lb 4yo who wants to walk on his own every 20mins makes getting up CO-size peaks a WHOLE lot more challenging. And obviously I can't carry two of them, so no more hiking without DH on weekdays.

We don't climb anymore.

So what do I do to stay motivated? Slogging away at the elliptical trainer in the basement and messing with our small weight rack is getting old. Plus, it's not challenging, and certainly isn't helping to melt away the last 5lbs of baby. Also, the 4yo won't stay in his room at *rest time* anymore, and spends most of my workouts saying, "Mommy, where's my truck?" "MOMMY!! I hurt my toe!" "Mommy, I am tired, can I have my snack?" Etc. :mad:

The gym that we belong to is about 20min away, and although I get blessed quiet on the workout circuit, it's sometimes a huge hassle and more motivation than I can muster to get two kids and coats and diaper bag and cups into the car and out the door in time to slip into the *slow* window at childcare. Plus, the 1yo isn't so sure how he feels about the place, so I could drive all the way there to be faced with big alligator tears. :(

Pushing the giant double stroller around the neighborhood? Meh. Our neighborhood is flat. Hardly an epic workout. I like working out hard. . . and have to, if I want to bring my fitness back up to par.

Pushing the giant stroller in the hills. . . sounds good, a couple days a week. . . except then I have to hope for no wind and bundle everyone up and drive 20min to Boulder.

I don't know. I have to find something to get me excited again. Any ideas? Any good tips for being fit and still being a good mommy? Help! The current situation is kind of bumming me out!
:(

 

[altagirl]

I don't have any kids but I've gotten into XC skiing lately and have seen several moms out on the XC trails with the little trailer thing hauling their kids behind them. I know it sounds boring - I didn't think it would be the sort of thing that would appeal to me at all, but it's actually really fun and a great low-impact workout. Plus it gets you out into the fresh air, etc. And there's no lift ticket involved. I just picked up my second set of XC gear (now I have a skate setup and a classic setup) and it was a grand total of $100 at the REI garage sale for skis/boots/bindings. No idea what those little tow trailers sell for, but you'd think you could find them used from parents whose kids have outgrown them?

 

[TahoeJanine]

mollmeister,
I am very sympathetic although my baby is now 17 years old. It sounds like you need a physical challenge you can do without the kids. I tried schlepping my baby/toddler along on runs (because running is the only form of conditioning I stick to), and that just never worked. She whined, she cried, she didn't want to go, etc. I was divorced when she was a year old, so I couldn't leave her with a husband while I went for a long Saturday run. I ran during my lunch hour at work.

But... perhaps, since you have a DH, you could make workout deals: while you're doing something you like, he watches the kids. And vice versa. For me, running is the only thing. And, in fact, although it might be sacrilegous to say this on theskidiva.com, I am primarily a runner, and secondarily a skier. I mean, I don't have to wait for snow and pay big bucks to run. I just have to buy three pairs of running shoes a year.

Maybe running isn't your thing, but since you love hiking and skiing as I do, then maybe you're just sick of exercising INDOORS. I hate workout clubs....

TahoeJanine

 

[SuperMoe]

OK, this is not exactly what you want to hear...but my motivation is my mother. Type 2 Diabetes caught up with her, she started dialysis 1.5 years ago after she had her heart attack. She just never took care of herself, decided that taking care of 6 kids was enough. (Yeah, I can see where she's coming from)

That's my motivation, why I think it's important. The thing that worked best for me was my bike. Because it's light so early here in the summer, I would get up at 6AM, and go out for a quick ride before my husband left for work. I might even fit in a quick Pilates workout if the kids were still sleeping when I got back. I've been working my core again, got a short <10 minute workout that I use almost daily when I'm watching the Weather Channel.

Just remember how important it is for you to do something, even going for a 20 minute walk after dinner, let the DH take care of the kids. It might not be the intense workout you're used to...but you owe it to yourself and your family to take care of yourself. The years will go so fast, you'll find that in about three years, it'll be soo much easier and before you know it, your oldest will be 12 and can actually baby sit and that is wild the first time you go and leave them.

 

[ski diva]

I have three motivating factors:

1) Osteoporosis: I feel like I'm looking down the barrel of a gun. My grandmother has it, my mom had it, and I'm built for it (slight build, short, Caucasian). And exercise is a key element for keeping it at bay.

2) Food: I love to eat. So if I didn't exercise, I'd probably be huge.

3) Skiing: I love to ski. And if you don't keep in shape during the off season, ski season is going to be really tough.

 

[dloveski]

When my kids (3) were young and I went back to work, I found my stress level rose as my personal time decreased. I was a wreck. I began running, staring at 15 minutes at a time, building up over the years.

That was 1983 or 1984. I found that 30-45 minutes in the morning or right after work was the most precious time of my day. And, with an endorphine rush--I was much more equipped to handle the domestic @#&! that was unavoidable every day. After a few miles----I could deal with arguing kids, dirty dishes, and overflowing garbage---no problem.

Today, the jogging strollers are awesome---I'd be all over it. Maybe, someday, if I have grandkids, I will get a jogger and waddle behind.

 

[dloveski]

P.S.---running did not require a club membership, a drive, or special equipment--other than great shoes. I could run right out my door and pay a kid $3 to watch the younger ones for 30 min. And run off my stress and think about solutions to problems at work.

 

[mollmeister]

Ah. . . I clearly forgot to mention two things. . .

1. DH travels extensively (and I mean extensively-- he's generally gone 3-5nts/week, every week) for work, so he's essentially no help. He's supposed to be my *back-up* on the weekend, so I get at least one long workout. . . but he tends to be attached to the Blackberry (email and phone) pretty much 24-7, and bails on me, even for that. And when I try to get up early to work out when he's gone, invariably someone wakes up 1-1.5hrs early, and I have no one's help in getting them back to bed. :(

2. I LOVE to run, but I can't. :Cry: 7+ years of living in SF and training for half-marathons on the hills left me with what I self-diagnose as cartilage problems. I miss running SO much, but I can only do it ever so occasionally, and only on dirt. I have been meaning to have the knees scoped for a few years, but haven't gotten to it. They work OK for skiing, even a few bump runs every day out, but full-on impact like running is touch and go. OK one time out. . . and limping by five minutes in the next time.

 

[dloveski]

I have creaky knees and don't run--in the sense of sprinters and compeitive running, I waddle, and stay off of the hard cement.

Mollmeister---Maybe rollerblading? I'm thinking of this as a running replacement and it looks like a blast.

 

[altagirl]

Biking and XC skiing are the two best things I've found for my bad knees.

 

[mollmeister]

Biking and XC skiing are the two best things I've found for my bad knees.

I love XC skiing, but the closest regular access is about an hour away, with no child care. I am thinking of *conning* my mom into watching the wee one while the big one is in school next winter and setting a standing 1x/week XC date with my sister, who loves XC.

I hadn't biked in forever, but we were in Sun Valley last summer and had the BEST time biking every morning, dragging the kids in the chariot on the huge trail system there. Lots of bike trails around here (I am not a fan of pulling the kids on the shoulder of busy roads), so I have been doing a little, halfhearted research on good bikes and trailers. Expensive initial investment, but maybe worth it.

 

[mollmeister]

I have creaky knees and don't run--in the sense of sprinters and compeitive running, I waddle, and stay off of the hard cement.

Mollmeister---Maybe rollerblading? I'm thinking of this as a running replacement and it looks like a blast.

We used to rollerblade back in the day. . . and it was fun. But I also have memories of thigh-long road rash from when we used to straightline down a long, long, long hill outside town (in NH). . . that sometimes had *surprise* gravel on the side of the road. I would need to get over my fear again. And would only be able to do it when DH was in town.

 

[TahoeJanine]

Okay, fine, no running. I also ride a bike--a beat-up mountain bike to work occasionally (9 miles there, 9 miles back), and a road bike on the American River Bike Trail in Sacramento. Biking is great for the knees, and fantastic conditioning for skiing. Plus you can get that speed rush if you live near hills. (And for your runners out there, I think my bike commuting helped me cut a 1/2 hour off my last marathon!)

With DH travelling all the time, you do have a problem. Babysitter for exercise time? Or I suppose you could tow your kids behind you in one of those bike carts.

 

[altagirl]

I love XC skiing, but the closest regular access is about an hour away, with no child care. I am thinking of *conning* my mom into watching the wee one while the big one is in school next winter and setting a standing 1x/week XC date with my sister, who loves XC.

I hadn't biked in forever, but we were in Sun Valley last summer and had the BEST time biking every morning, dragging the kids in the chariot on the huge trail system there. Lots of bike trails around here (I am not a fan of pulling the kids on the shoulder of busy roads), so I have been doing a little, halfhearted research on good bikes and trailers. Expensive initial investment, but maybe worth it.

That and if you have gear (or rent it - it's only $8 for everything at REI), remember that when it snows in town, regular paved trails in the park and such work for XC skiing too. You don't need a fancy prepared track to have fun.

 

[Daria]

First of all the osteoperosis thing is a biggee. I was diagnosed with Osteopenia in my early 40s. My running and weight training have brought me up to normal measures That was over 10 years ago. What gets us motivated now is doing detox diets. They can really bring you renewed energy and incredible strength. Google "The master cleanse" for more information. Making a change in your eating habits can be amazing! It sounds crazy - I thought my DH was nuts when he first talked about it (he is the researcher in our family) but it really can change your life - and your skiing if you are in better health

 

[Kano]

mollmeister --

I've got a lot of thoughts reading this thread, and they're not easy to put words around.

From what I'm reading, it sounds like you're an at-home mom. That absolutely ROCKS! I'm pretty sure it's the most difficult career path a woman can choose. Your kids appreciate it, even if they never find a way to let you know it.

Between the lines, it appears to me that right now, you're TOTALLY overwhelmed with this motherhood thing, maybe because your wee dude is "at that age." Never mind the challenge of exercising with two small boys around, you probably feel pretty lucky to get the bathroom to yourself! (not counting that the dog and cat got in there with you before you got the door closed, so they could hide for a moment too) If no one's outside the door banging on it and hollering for your attention while you're in there, or wailing and reaching tiny fingers under the door because he's been left on the other side, you mark it on the calendar. If there's nothing's destroyed and no one's hurt when you come out, you consider petitioning the government for a national holiday in honor of the event!

IT IS OKAY, PERHAPS EVEN ESSENTIAL, to be a "mean mommie" sometimes. I know this is hard -- it's a never-ending battle, but your sanity depends on it, and EVERYONE, including you, likes your kids better if they have a routine and rules.

(something that drove my kids nuts: "I'm the mom, you're the kid. Who's in charge?")

IT IS OKAY, PERHAPS EVEN ESSENTIAL, for you to have some time with grown ups now and then. (and to have time to be ALONE now and then!)

Your wee dude isn't sure how he feels about the drop in at the gym -- he's at that age. "that age" comes and goes. He's fine with it, really. What he's upset about is that you're leaving him there, because he's new. He's not sure his most important person is coming back. When you go to the gym, it's okay to leave him in the drop in center, even though he's crying when you leave him. Professionals are equipped to cope with this nasty kid-plot that's designed to make us feel like bad mommies. We all struggle with that feeling that hits like a ton of bricks when we leave our child crying in the arms of someone else, whether we're on our way to work, or "just" taking a few minutes for ourselves. (and knowing that doesn't make it easier, does it?)

(and if mom doesn't want to babysit, find someone you feel comfortable trusting with your little treasures -- it IS worth the money you'll spend)


IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW MUCH THE BOYS (and your husband) COMPLAIN, TIME YOU TAKE FOR YOURSELF MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO BE A GOOD MOMMY. Yes, there are health benefits too, but what time spent absolutely alone, or in the company of other adults (for a change) does for your head is HUGE!

Kano

 

[MaineSkiLady]

mm -- many of us are "feeling your pain" and sense of exasperation. This is a very difficult and challenging phase of life for you, no doubt about it.

Ultimately, how you manage time for yourself will be based on very individual circumstances. With little kids, plans change. On a dime.

Therefore, I have but one suggestion, and it's philosophical: take a deep breath and record the moment. Wish I could print off and put your post in a time capsule and send it to you in 17 years, when that hand-bandaged baby is graduating high school and has one foot out the door.

As long, hard and exasperating a time in your life this seems today, in full retrospect, it will have been a truly short phase.

I'm at a different point in life, and I've heard too many people express regrets:
"Why was I so worried about whether the house was clean when I could have been on the floor playing with them?"
"Why was it so important that I fill in the blank when DS needed me to fill in the blank." Too many regrets, and no second chances.

I promise that you will emerge from this phase intact, and your freedom will return in small, bite-sized pieces (I also endured the traveling DH scenario, 18 years' worth). It takes forever to get them off to school. Freedom!

Then: allofasuddentheyaregrownupandgone, POOF. Like snapping your fingers. Bring your kleenex to h.s. graduation. That's when it will hit you, in full force.

I want one more "little kid" day. I grin big at the 3-4 year olds at my home mountain. Those days are over for me.
They're never coming back.
Think about it.
Trade ya....

 

[Solincia]

I want one more "little kid" day. I grin big at the 3-4 year olds at my home mountain. Those days are over for me.
They're never coming back.
Think about it.
Trade ya....

MSL, I don't know why... but for some reason, you just brought tears to my eyes...

 

[tradygirl]

MSL comes through again with her infinite wisdom!

Moll, I feel your pain in a different sort of way. I recently went back to get my master's degree and I'm working 40 hours a week while going to school 8 hours a week. I have a husband who also decided to go back to school. We have a 2 year old handful of a dog, a house, two cars, and one income. Granted, it's not kids, but it's been a huge demand on my time. I get frustrated every day about my lack of time to do anything I used to do - working out, skiing, biking, hobbies, keeping the house relatively clean, etc. I'm frustrated about gaining some weight that just won't ever go away. Some days I just want to throw my hands in the air and give up.

But....

I know it will be over in two short years. So what if I gain 10 pounds? So what if I don't get 30 days of skiing? So what if I'm in the back of the pack biking all summer? The most important thing is NOW - getting myself and hubby successfully through school without losing our minds. That ten pounds will melt fast when I'm done, and there's a season pass with my name on it. In your case, you have those handful of demanding stressful years before your kids are in school. You'll have that time back before you know it, so in the meantime just try to enjoy the small things and the accomplishment of being a good mom. You'll be super-hard-core-mountain-woman again in the blink of an eye. :D

 

[Gloria]

You know I have a daughter whom is now 10. A friend of mine has 2 boys one is about a year younger and the other one is around 7. We had a discussion ( at the bar no doubt ) about the sacrifices we had made previously that had caught up with us and were now allowing us to do the things we had enjoyed B.K. with them. The overall jist of the conversation is that many of our friends whom have younger kids are going to be kind of bummed that they were too selfish to take the kids to ski school, climbing camp etc or simply ski on area or climb easier routes etc. instead leaving the kids with a sitter while they went B.C skiing or climbed their 5.12d routes because they had their images to uphold. As our kids grew up we backed out of our roles and did the same activities on a lesser more kid friendly level and are now finding that what we lost over the years in skill level has evened out with what our kids have gained and that we are all enjoying being at virtually the same level of skill as our kids and once again doing the things we used to do only now it's even better because we have our children with us. I know it's not easy to get to this point, ski school every Saturday morning KILLS us getting there on time at the end of the week, but looking back the gain has been so well worth it. Hang in there, plug along at their pace for awhile, they do catch up fast. It will happen and will certainly be worth it.