Girls and their Dads

[Lilgeorg]

I used to spend time in my working life as an organizational consultant watching and noticing trends in behavior. It is a skill I have not be able to break now that I am retired. So, I have been noticing that Skiing is one sport where dads really seem to support their daughters development. I know that lots of families are involved in soccer , field hockey, and softball with thier daughters. But, I notice many times that parents care about winning and and their children feel pressure not to disappoint. What seems different to me about skiing is that many dads are alone with thier children because mom may not ski. And what I see is a very positive relationship between the dads and their kids. What seems especially different to me is how positive and encouraging dads seem to be with their girls in helping them enjoy the sport.

So what do you think? Am I all wet? Am I an old lady who doesn't see that relationships between fathers and daughters have evolved beyond where even my girls were with their dads? Or, is there really something special going on?

 

[Robyn]

Well, I have two views on this one. The first was the relationship with my father. He was the head coach of my team and was a competitor above all else. I never felt like I was good enough at the sport and it is the main reason that I stopped racing when he stopped coaching. Years later we were looking through some photos and we came upon one of me during a race in a tuck. He said "you were such a good little racer" and I almost burst into tears. Why couldn't he have said something when I was actually racing?

Fast forward to the last 3 seasons when I have been coaching young kids how to be ski racers. I'm careful to guide parents through being supportive of their kids but not pushing them and most of the dads I've worked with do everything they can to help their daughters love the sport.

In March my dad is coming to visit and I'm really hoping he'll come to my home mountain with me on that Saturday to see me coach. I'm going to enlist my aunt's help in pushing him to do that. I don't want him to ski with me all day but I'd love to have him see me do this, it's kind of a little bit of personal satisfaction I want to have him tell me he's proud of me. He's a very different man now than he was 20 years ago and I believe in my heart he'll enjoy seeing this. Nevermind the fact that one our coaches is a guy that my dad coached over 30 years ago. My dad was one of his first coaches.

 

[SnowHot]

So what do you think? Am I all wet? Am I an old lady who doesn't see that relationships between fathers and daughters have evolved beyond where even my girls were with their dads? Or, is there really something special going on?

To answer all of your questions:
1 - There isn't enough bandwidth on this site to post all the stuff I think
2 - You are definitely NOT all wet
3 - You are older than I am, but certainly NOT old in any sense of the word, and I think the way you see the relationship(s) with fathers and daughters, and its evolution is not off track at all.
4 - Something special? Absolutely! Any time you see an opportunity for a father to bond with daughter(or son for that matter) is a Phenomenal moment that should be seized and embraced.

My history:
I was the kid who drove my mom nuts. Always with the questions and always with the need to "do something". If I had a nickel for every time my mom said "Jack, can you take her with you? Maybe you can answer all her questions!! She won't shut up!" (for those of you who've met me, you understand my mom's frustration)

This meant I spent a lot of time with dad, most of which was time on job sites, but a lot of which was ice fishing and hunting. To this day, I'm exceptionally close to my dad, and we have a lot in common.

Skiing is ideal:
What better activity can there be than skiing for a Father Daughter bonding experience. Think about all the tremendous bonding that can happen on a chair?

I think this is one of the reasons I bonded with my nephew so well. He was a teen, and needed a ride to the hill, with his buddies, of course.
I was the ski bus. Whats more, I would go anywhere they would and do anything they did. I was the cool aunt. To this day, I have a close relationship with all of those boys.
All in college now, I miss them:(

Epic from EpicSki is the shining example of a dad who spends some serious quality time with his daughter(s). You can see the TR here from my day with them at Stowe. His youngest daughter will be joining her big sister and dad on the slopes soon.

 

[Ski Luvr]

My father is solely responsible for my interest in skiing. Although he didn't go out there and ski with me (he never learned how to ski) he supported me 100%. From getting up at the crack of dawn to drive me to the mountains (sometimes 4 hours all the way up to Vermont) to hanging out in the lodge reading while I carved snow to dishing out a lot of cash for me to have great gear, my Dad was there supporting me. Even now with my renewed interest I can tell he's happy. So, yes, I think it's a wonderful activity. So wonderful that a Dad doesn't even have to ski for a daughter to have wonderful memories and a wonderful bonding experience.

(PS I don't know you well, but I do know that you are not an "all wet old lady"! )

 

[abc]

Isn't skiing the ONLY "sporty" activity a whole family can enjoy together? What else? Certainly not golf, not football, baseball, not soccer...

So, if Dad is going to bound with his little princess, skiing is about the ONLY one! Too bad Mom isn't there though.

Oh yes, skiing is also about the ONLY "sporty" recreation. Besides golf, that is.

I can't say anything from personal exeprience. My Dad was very encouraging in everything I participate. Too much perhaps, in terms of pressure. So, even if my Dad had taken me skiing, which he did not, it wouldn't be anything special.

 

[ski diva]

My dad is the one who started me skiing, too. Then again, my dad always did lots of outdoor activities with me -- skating, swimming, fishing, etc. We always had a lot of fun together.

At 84, he doesn't ski anymore (he lives in Florida). But he's still incredibly active, swimming half a mile four times a week. I hope I have his genes!!!!

 

[num]

I'm a single first generation skier, so I don't have any first hand experience. I do, however, see a bunch of dads on the hill with their daughters and it is adorable. The drive to the hill time has got to make for serious bonding, and it's great for kids to have a "me and my dad" activity. Several of the guys on epic have talked about their regular ski buddy who turns out to be his 8 year old daughter. I think it's awesome, because it gives a no pressure (if the parent presents it that way and preserves it) opportunity for bonding, sparks an interest in outdoor recreation, and gives them a skill and confidence. Going out there and following dad (safely) can really push them to go farther than they would've otherwise. Big thumbs up to all the dads (and the moms and the aunties and the uncles etc) who are getting these kids out there for exercise and bonding time.

 

[MaineSkiLady]

Puts a huge smile on my face -- all the kids, little guys as well as girls. As far as I know, I'm the only skier among even the most extended of my late parents' families - wait, forgot one 2nd cousin, but that's about it. They all pretty much think I'm nuts for liking cold and snow....

Conversely, good bonding for moms and sons as well. That's one with which I have more familiarity - and my grown son now totally enjoys reminiscing about the early ski days and longer trips (that he sometimes griped about at the time!).

When the high winds first pummeled I-70 and closed it the other day, he called and said, "Mom, remember how bad the winds were that one day at Steamboat?" Good grief, that was 1988!!

 

[ski chick]

I definitely see Dads and daughters bonding on the mountain all the time. I am a Ski Mom through and through and have wanted to be a ski mom since I got married. So for years even beyond my time on the mountain with my own kids I've been watching families skiing. I have always picked up on the Dad/Daughter bond- it is very real!

My husband is very close to all of our kids but he and my daughter sneak away to have some black diamond runs that my sons can't do and they love it. He took her on a BD run when she was only 7, by mistake. At lunchtime when we met up she proudly announced "I skied my dream Mom! I did a black diamond!" Dad sheepishly said "yes" and forever earned him the nickname "Danger Dad". He picks up pink ski wear for her wherever he might be, bought her new (pink, of course) skis without any prompting for a perfect report card, and taught her how to wax. She's only 10! All this from a man who is manly right down to his fuzzy beard.

Yesterday we seemed to be following off the lift a Dad and his daughter. She couldn't have been more than 9 and they were both snowboarders, taking the same black diamond run the whole day. She was in purple head to toe, Dad followed behind her, and they would give each other a look that said pure fun. It was very adorable.

 

[ski chick]

PS- Robyn, please let us know how the event in March goes. I KNOW your Dad will be very proud of you! I'll be thinking of you!

 

[Kimmyt]

I wish that when I grew up I could have had a sport to share with my dad. I think in general men tend to bond with people over physical activity. Thats why so many men and their sons have tight relationships, because they have that common thread that is their love of a certain sport. I think many times a girl may not be close with her dad because they don't have the shared interests. I sometimes feel like I was undersold by my dad, because I wasn't encouraged into sports like my brothers were, and what physical activities I did do, he took little to no interest in as they were 'girl sports' (like horseback riding and dance).

He's not a bad guy, but I just wish I could have had what I see some guys having with their daughters out on the slopes.

But to be honest, the cutest thing I ever saw was this past weekend at Jay as I was riding the lift. A little girl was snowplowing down a bumped up black run. She was actually pretty good, got almost parallel at some points. Momma darted in front of her on her tele skis and said, "OK now follow my turns" and down the mountain they went. Shortly after them another teleskier came down followed closely by a little boy in a snowplow, doing slow but steady and controlled turns. Later in the day I saw the four of them standing around and skiing in bursts to try and get the kids turns down. The whole family, out together enjoying a great sport. I got all verklempt. So sweet. So I guess it can be a mom/daughter or mom/son thing as well a dad/son/daughter thing too, and either way it's a pretty special relationship!

K.

 

[SnowHot]

My dad invited me to go ice Feeshen ta day, dontcha noe?
But I kooten go, cuz I hada werk.

 

[IdahoSkiGirl]

My dad was the reason I started to ski. We have shared some really good memories on the ski hill.

 

[Ski Luvr]

At 84, he doesn't ski anymore (he lives in Florida). But he's still incredibly active, swimming half a mile four times a week. I hope I have his genes!!!!

I hope I have his genes too!