For real, this was in my inbox today.

[ski diva]

Not a joke. #WhyAmIGettingThis

Holy crow.



Hi – following the news that Finnish skier Remi Lindholm suffered a frozen penis during his 50km mass start race at the Beijing Olympic Games, CamSoda – an adult company – has extended him a 5-year, 6-figure sponsorship deal to be the new face of the company’s “penis puppet” line. The line debuted in 2017 and features snazzy knitted socks for penises to provide warm and coziness.

Check out the offer letter here, and pasted below (SFW pictures of the knit puppets included) - https://www.dropbox.com/sh/2wvlvgc01p1dzd4/AACF960V-xnsGUIQ2TijAUS7a?dl=0

Brett

CamSoda Communications

Dear Remi Lindholm,

I wanted to extend my condolences to you for suffering a frozen penis in your 50km mass start race at the Beijing Games. I can only imagine your disappointment. To train your entire life to win gold only to suffer a frozen penis and finish in 28th place must have been soul-crushing.

I wanted to reach out and extend you an offer on behalf of CamSoda - an adult entertainment webcam company - to sign a 5-year, 6-figure sponsorship deal to be the new face of our ‘Penis Puppet’ line. In 2017 we debuted the line of snazzy knitted socks for penises to provide coziness. We can design a personalized puppet that fits your member. We can even decorate it to make it resemble the flag of Finland. You can bring it with you when you compete in the 2026 Winter Olympics in Italy.

Take some time to consider my offer. I’d love to host you at our headquarters in the coming weeks for a fitting and photoshoot.

Sincerely,

Daryn Parker

Vice President of CamSoda

 

[Iwannaski]

Ew. Clickbait. People are nasty.

 

[ski diva]

Ew. Clickbait. People are nasty.

Definitely Ew.

 

[Pequenita]

I’m betting it was a publicity stunt on the Finn’s part in the first place. Of all the teams who are likely to have their kits sorted out, it would be the Finns and other Scandinavian teams.

 

[shadoj]

I’m betting it was a publicity stunt on the Finn’s part in the first place. Of all the teams who are likely to have their kits sorted out, it would be the Finns and other Scandinavian teams.

It's not the first time it's happened to him, apparently. I think he might have other issues!

 

[Jenny]

I’m betting it was a publicity stunt on the Finn’s part in the first place. Of all the teams who are likely to have their kits sorted out, it would be the Finns and other Scandinavian teams.

You’d think, but I saw the article a couple of days ago, not in relation to any puppets (OMG) and there's been discussion over on another forum that doesn’t sound like this doesn’t happen. But, seriously - those suits don’t have insulation in the important spots? No medal is worth potentially losing a body part.

 

[Jilly]

I saw this article back when the race was held.

Olympics-Cross-country skiing-Finn Remi suffered frozen penis in mass start race

The men's 50 kilometre mass start race at the Beijing Games was shortened to 30 km but that did little to help Finland's Remi Lindholm, who needed a heat pack at the end of the race to thaw out a particularly sensitive body part.

www.ctvnews.ca

We always called them peter heaters...

 

[WaterGirl]

It's not the first time it's happened to him, apparently. I think he might have other issues!

Possible Raynaud's?

 

[Sheena]

I keep seeing the headline pop up in my news feed. LOL I refuse to click. Apparently this story and related stuff has a skiing related tag to it somewhere in their algorithms. I will wait to see when the advertisements show up on this site LOL!

 

[Tvan]

Oh for the love of pete. Why is this news? This is nobody's business but his.

 

[newboots]

I saw this article back when the race was held.

Olympics-Cross-country skiing-Finn Remi suffered frozen penis in mass start race

The men's 50 kilometre mass start race at the Beijing Games was shortened to 30 km but that did little to help Finland's Remi Lindholm, who needed a heat pack at the end of the race to thaw out a particularly sensitive body part.

www.ctvnews.ca

We always called them peter heaters...

So glad we have Canadians here to explain the super-cold climate precautions . . . (thanks, @Jilly )!

Although I ski in the Northeast (US), I had no idea this was a thing!

 

[Pequenita]

Oh for the love of pete. Why is this news? This is nobody's business but his.

Because it’s a publicity stunt! (I’m into minor conspiracy theories. But seriously, there’s this thing called wind blocker material….sigh.)

 

[newboots]

Because it’s a publicity stunt! (I’m into minor conspiracy theories. But seriously, there’s this thing called wind blocker material….sigh.)

Yes! Not to mention the Canadian peter heater (see above).

 

[newboots]

Oh for the love of pete.

I saw what you did there.

(Sorry, @Tvan - I couldn't help myself.)

 

[Jilly]

Quite easy to knit.....

 

[2ski2moro]

Quite easy to knit.....

Back in my college days, we called the knitted ones, “Zeke Warmers.” No idea why.