santacruz skier
Angel Diva
no no... I knew they wouldn't fit you....
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My Year of Going Without.
- Thread starter ski diva
- Start date
VickiK
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
My easy-like-Sunday morning routine is make coffee, pick up the paper, walk the dogs, and check my emails. Today in my Inbox, there were 3 emails...
1-Encouraging me to check my shopping cart before my item "got away"
2-Listing steller customer reviews on another item I had been looking at
3-Celebrating add'l discounts on SALE items
Oh those vendors.
1-Encouraging me to check my shopping cart before my item "got away"
2-Listing steller customer reviews on another item I had been looking at
3-Celebrating add'l discounts on SALE items
Oh those vendors.
MaineSkiLady
Angel Diva
Indeed. Just did this, en masse, as my year began around September 1. The one-word solution: UNSUBSCRIBE.
surfsnowgirl
Banned
I have done a lot of unsubscribing this year.
surfsnowgirl
Banned
Good job! Sounds like it was a nice learning experience. Inspiring also, got me thinking about what have, don't have and what I think I "need"
Christy
Angel Diva
I know people that are in "buy nothing" groups. They use Facebook to communicate; it's a bit different than Freecycle and those type of groups. People post when they need something or when they want to give something away. No money or even bartering is allowed-only gifting. Some people use it to make ends meet (they will ask for, say, a winter coat for their kid), others just to reduce consumption or declutter.
bounceswoosh
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I'm trying something new, and not remotely as self-disciplined as what @ski diva is doing, but baby steps, right?
DH and I often have arguments in which I just *want* something. Usually it's skis. Every several years, it's a mountain bike, which could be the equivalent of 5-10 pairs of skis, depending. It always results in resentment on both sides.
So after a lot of difficult discussions, because DH and I have very different ideas of what we need and he has this (to me) weird fixation on what we or specifically I "should" be able to do without extra help, as of today, I have a savings account into which I will be siphoning $X every month. This will be my new skis and bike fund. This is completely my idea - I would probably have bristled if DH had suggested it. Well, not probably, certainly.
It means that if I save up for the level of bike I've said I want, it's going to be two years. Or I can decide I'm willing to get a lesser bike to get it sooner. Or I have to wait on my bike because I fell in love with a pair of skis. Or if I want a new road bike ...
This probably sounds stupidly basic, but for me, that connection of "this OR that" has been sadly missing from my brain. I want this, and I want that, and I will whine until I get them, and I will force DH into the parental role of saying no, or more likely he will tell me it is up to me whether I really think I need this, which is him trying to get out of the parental role ... like I said, nobody's happy. I get the skis, but I feel guilty. DH resents the purchase. It sucks.
This way, I don't have to ask him about bikes and skis, but there's still a limit. A predictable limit that we can put into our budget.
I realize this is super limited, with all sorts of room for major purchases that aren't bikes or skis. But it's a start, and a way to circumvent arguments that we have pretty regularly. We both agree that if, say, my ski boots aren't working out, new ski boots are not coming out of this account. That's a "mandatory" expense, not the same thing as my 7th pair of skis.
I'm not asking him to do the same, because he sees money differently, and generally speaking he doesn't spend it as freely as I do. That's fine. What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander. He also agreed to some similarly artificial arrangements for ourannual large expenses, to help me visualize the expenses. He says he doesn't need that cue, and maybe he doesn't. But for me, it's hard to picture the upcoming car insurance payments when I see money in the checking account. This way it makes it all more "real" to me.
DH and I often have arguments in which I just *want* something. Usually it's skis. Every several years, it's a mountain bike, which could be the equivalent of 5-10 pairs of skis, depending. It always results in resentment on both sides.
So after a lot of difficult discussions, because DH and I have very different ideas of what we need and he has this (to me) weird fixation on what we or specifically I "should" be able to do without extra help, as of today, I have a savings account into which I will be siphoning $X every month. This will be my new skis and bike fund. This is completely my idea - I would probably have bristled if DH had suggested it. Well, not probably, certainly.
It means that if I save up for the level of bike I've said I want, it's going to be two years. Or I can decide I'm willing to get a lesser bike to get it sooner. Or I have to wait on my bike because I fell in love with a pair of skis. Or if I want a new road bike ...
This probably sounds stupidly basic, but for me, that connection of "this OR that" has been sadly missing from my brain. I want this, and I want that, and I will whine until I get them, and I will force DH into the parental role of saying no, or more likely he will tell me it is up to me whether I really think I need this, which is him trying to get out of the parental role ... like I said, nobody's happy. I get the skis, but I feel guilty. DH resents the purchase. It sucks.
This way, I don't have to ask him about bikes and skis, but there's still a limit. A predictable limit that we can put into our budget.
I realize this is super limited, with all sorts of room for major purchases that aren't bikes or skis. But it's a start, and a way to circumvent arguments that we have pretty regularly. We both agree that if, say, my ski boots aren't working out, new ski boots are not coming out of this account. That's a "mandatory" expense, not the same thing as my 7th pair of skis.
I'm not asking him to do the same, because he sees money differently, and generally speaking he doesn't spend it as freely as I do. That's fine. What's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander. He also agreed to some similarly artificial arrangements for ourannual large expenses, to help me visualize the expenses. He says he doesn't need that cue, and maybe he doesn't. But for me, it's hard to picture the upcoming car insurance payments when I see money in the checking account. This way it makes it all more "real" to me.
surfsnowgirl
Banned
@bounceswoosh I'm similar in that once I decide I want something I'm very focused until I get it sometimes at a detriment to my budget. Sounds like you have a good plan there and some resolution with DH on purchases 
Jenny
Angel Diva
Don't sell yourself short. If you haven't done it before it's still going to take a lot of discipline to start/continue it.
bounceswoosh
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Yeah, maybe I should have held off claiming it till I've at least made it a few months without buying skis =)
Jenny
Angel Diva
Nah, don't they say you're supposed to make goals public, so you can be held accountable?
bounceswoosh
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
And then there was this other study that said that if you make it public, you're less likely to succeed
Jenny
Angel Diva
Oops. Probably, like everything else, depends on the person. And the goal. And the weather.And then there was this other study that said that if you make it public, you're less likely to succeed
bounceswoosh
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Yeah, I doubt there has been a followup study =)
Maybe because they publicly committed to reporting long-term findings via a follow-up study.
