Still having meltdowns?

[naskis]

What a dick. I hope he never gets another date
But.... and this is important I think: Why did she not just unclip and walk away? I don't understand saying no over and over again, but otherwise being totally passive?

I think that comes with a life experience. It sometimes takes years to realize that doing what you want and more importantly NOT doing what you DON'T want is ok. No need to prove anything to anyone, other than yourself, no need to be "cool" for others sake..

 

[Kimmyt]

Because the guy is probably the experienced one, and when this happens, women (inexperienced people in general) can be convinced that they are the ones that are wrong for feeling trepidation/fear. Not everyone has the self acceptance to be ok with backing down on something that others around them are doing.

 

[geargrrl]

Good point... they look pretty dang young and I cringe to think of some of the situations I was in, and my "then" vs "now (age 52") potential response.

 

[deannatoby]

I thought the guy was being really encouraging in a good way in the beginning. Totally you can do this--it's OK, I'm here to support you--I believe in you. I couldn't believe it in the end when he actually pushed her off. I have a feeling it's been too long since he was truly afraid of anything. Maybe the next time he's quaking with fear and somebody pushes him into a nightmare, he'll think back, as he soils his pants, and understand what a crappy thing he did.

I couldn't believe the size of that canyon. How'd they even get the ropes tied and placed from one cliff to the other?

 

[geargrrl]

You must have missed the crossbow.

That short story I mentioned, "On Not Climbing The Grand"' by Pam Houston.... It's been a long time since I read it, but I remember really identifying with it. It was an examination of "why am I here, (roped up on the Grand Teton) anyway?" Do I want to be here? Am I trying to please my partner? Etc. She is a writer who has been a guide, and I really have appreciated her take on the male/female dynamic, especially when it comes to the great outdoors, adventures, and women in love with men who are not always available because of testosterone issues. All her books are story collections, semi - autobiographical. My favorite collection is "Cowboys Are My Weakness". One of my favorite quotes is from one of her stories, and I'm not sure if this is it, exactly: "I may be be college educated and know better, but I love it when he calls me baby" ".

Another good read which is a much more mature version of this dynamic ( male/female/adventure/relationship) is Forget Me Not by Jennifer Lowe Anker. Alex Lowe was on of the worlds top climbers, and was killed in an avalanche several years ago. They had a family with three sons. She talks about balancing love, fear, and passion/obsession.....what it is like to choose to love and be with someone who is possessed by a drive for deep adventure. Part of her story, is Alex's partner Konrad, who was there when he died, and they married later. Married to a guy who's into class five boating, I related a lot to this book.

 

[cleopatra]

I can relate to what the girl in the video is going through. I can just imagine the self talk. Come on, you wanted to do this, it is safe, you will regret not doing it, why are you being so wussy. IF, and that is a big if, I had gotten as far as she did being roped in ready to go, I would have waffled a long time before choosing to go or not and had a major fight with myself. Chances are I would have been crying long before someone had a chance to push me off though!

 

[Kym]

Coming from the world of diving - it is ingrained in me that it is ok to 'call the dive off' no matter what the reason - without it impacting on the relationship with your 'dive buddy'. The most experienced diver in the group may be having a bad day - or just feel 'off' - or it could be something more. Safety first. For me, that goes for skiing too.

I agree that you need to try new stuff to be challenged, and like diving, skiing in different conditions it the only way to build skills. If you always have bluebird days and need 100% visibility to get off the mountain then you will be in trouble if cloud rolls in unexpectedly one day. But... skiing something because you feel pressured to is not always the best way to gain those skills!

Thankfully I haven't had a meltdown on the slopes - but I witnessed an almighty one the other day. There is a short run that is often filled with moguls, but still has good snow on the mid-mountain. We did the run on Monday and it was nice. We went back on Tuesday and we had had a warm snap followed by a cold snap - so the snow had been softened then refrozen - so the bumps were icy! A woman ahead of us fell and one ski came off. She was obviously stressed before this happened. She tried to get the ski back on for about 30 seconds - as as she was in the line of where I was planning to ski I just waited a moment.

Her frustration got the better of her and she started to scream at her partner/ friends who were waiting at the bottom of the hill. She threw one ski down the slope and started sliding over the bumps with one ski still on. The partner/ friend at the bottom was shouting 'don't take your skis off!' but this just made her madder. She eventually got both skis off and was sliding down the bumps on her stomach screaming all the way and throwing her skis. The group of friends at the bottom (including kids) didn't really know what to do...

I ended up traversing over about 4 bumps to the left and found that there were no moguls on the side of the run. Had she stopped for a second and looked around, she might have found a more fun way to get down the hill. But you know, when panic and/ or frustration kick in - we tend to develop "tunnel syndrome" - like this woman who couldn't see anything to the left or right. I really felt for her.

The way we handle this in diving is to train people to 'stop-breath-then think of what to do' - in that order whenever you feel pressured. It sounds ridiculously simple, but it works! And under water, it can save your life! In skiing, it can at least break you out of tunnel syndrome and help you refocus. I have found myself in a white out on an icy mogul-y hill that I wasn't ready for, and I tried this technique. It didn't get me off the hill, but it did give me time to gather my thoughts and focus on the simple 'turn left, turn right, turn left, turn right' until I got to the bottom of the hill and out of the cloud. I didn't enjoy the experience but at least I know I can get out of trouble if I am in a situation like that again.

Cheers,

Kym

 

[bounceswoosh]

The way we handle this in diving is to train people to 'stop-breath-then think of what to do' - in that order whenever you feel pressured. It sounds ridiculously simple, but it works! And under water, it can save your life! In skiing, it can at least break you out of tunnel syndrome and help you refocus. I have found myself in a white out on an icy mogul-y hill that I wasn't ready for, and I tried this technique. It didn't get me off the hill, but it did give me time to gather my thoughts and focus on the simple 'turn left, turn right, turn left, turn right' until I got to the bottom of the hill and out of the cloud. I didn't enjoy the experience but at least I know I can get out of trouble if I am in a situation like that again.

I used something similar this weekend after skiing into a tree (I'm fine, just a couple of bruises). It was just one turn, so not too much speed, and I threw up my arm to protect my face. Anyway, I ended up tipped over in a cluster of trees, with branches kind of pinning me. Ski instructor Dirk always says that the first thing you should do when you fall is to take a deep breath and relax. So I did that and assessed the situation. I'm glad I did, because I managed to really be stuck among several trees, branches, and deep heavy snow. In the past, in similar situations, I have struggled blindly trying to get free. This time, the deep breath and the few seconds of calm allowed me to assess my position and actually plan my escape. I found that I was a lot less sweaty, my heart rate was level, and generally I just got out of that situation in much better shape than I have similar situations in the past - and with unfogged goggles!

 

[Kym]

I used something similar this weekend after skiing into a tree (I'm fine, just a couple of bruises). It was just one turn, so not too much speed, and I threw up my arm to protect my face. Anyway, I ended up tipped over in a cluster of trees, with branches kind of pinning me. Ski instructor Dirk always says that the first thing you should do when you fall is to take a deep breath and relax. So I did that and assessed the situation. I'm glad I did, because I managed to really be stuck among several trees, branches, and deep heavy snow. In the past, in similar situations, I have struggled blindly trying to get free. This time, the deep breath and the few seconds of calm allowed me to assess my position and actually plan my escape. I found that I was a lot less sweaty, my heart rate was level, and generally I just got out of that situation in much better shape than I have similar situations in the past - and with unfogged goggles!

Wow. That is awesome. There is something about the stop and breath that helps the brain begin problem solving. It is physiological! Sorry you skied into a tree and I am glad you are ok - but super impressed that you got out of it so well!

 

[bounceswoosh]

Wow. That is awesome. There is something about the stop and breath that helps the brain begin problem solving. It is physiological! Sorry you skied into a tree and I am glad you are ok - but super impressed that you got out of it so well!

Whenever I see untracked snow in the trees, I just can't resist investigating. Sometimes, I get a few great turns. Other times, I get into a bit of a mess. I figure it's all part of the adventure. I'm just annoyed that the bruise on my arm didn't purple, so I can't show off my boo boo!

 

[NZfarmgirl]

Whenever I see untracked snow in the trees, I just can't resist investigating. Sometimes, I get a few great turns. Other times, I get into a bit of a mess. I figure it's all part of the adventure. I'm just annoyed that the bruise on my arm didn't purple, so I can't show off my boo boo!

I have been having so much fun playing in the trees here in Utah, we don't have tree skiing in NZ so I keep getting tempted to go through any trees I see we nice snow. I've had a few mishaps though. The worst on he supreme lift at Alta where I decided to go through a lower gate into the steep trees, ( not right under the lift!!!! But further down) I cong inow my way around, and got to a really steep bit and couldn't see over ( there are lots of hidden cliffs there) so I had an emergency had of direction, which had me sliding fast into a tree with a ski on each side. I stuck my knees together at the last second and whacked them on the truck- saving my face ...and other things. But then how to get out, the pitch was steep and the snow around the tree so deep. I was alone and nearly had a melt down, time to breath and not panic "right Hod this us when I really need help" I said.

 

[NZfarmgirl]

Bother, tapped the send button.... I did calm down and managed to detangle from the tree , climb out / sidestepping up and traversed out and across the top of a chute to the rope and safety . Phew!

 

[NProcter]

I am so glad I found this website! I went skiing for the first time in March this year and really struggled. I had had a few lessons and time on false slopes in the UK but nothing prepared me for my first day. Admittedly now I was not fit enough at all and I have just (this morning) started a new fitness regime to help shape up for my next trip in January. However that together with absolute agony in the wrong boots on my first day made my trip miserable for the most part. We went to a place on the first day that meant a 15min walk in the horrendous boots then a long stand at the bubble lift then the blue runs were definitely more like reds and particularly for first 50m of most runs seemed vertical to me! I cried and swore at my partner and father for taking me up so high and vertical, the fear just consumed me. I am not afraid of heights but it was all new, it seemed so so steep and I was frozen with fear. Eventually I knew I had to get down somehow and I just shut everyone out (them all shouting instruction at me did not help!) tried to control my breathing which was getting erratic by that point and I focused on a coffee hut about half way down and just took my time going right across the run back and forth til I made it down. It was scary! and they were more moments like that but I had to overcome them. the more I relaxed the better I was at skiing as I was less tense. My boots killed me that first day, I could barely walk when we got back, I have very large calves and they were constantly squeezed by the boot cuff and cramping, agony! the 2nd day I made it down 1 run in new boots and had to come off to rest the remainder of the day. I tried new boots 3rd day which were better and managed a few difficult red which was a great achievement for me and I think probably spurred me on to overcome the pain. I have been doing loads of research into Calf pain (how I found you guys) and hopefully have a good work out plan as well as some useful hints. Apparently most boots are made for 13-14" calves which mine are most certainly not! I'm not big I just have huge calves! They hurt me on a daily basis when wearing really flat shoes, walking uphill etc. Can feel bruised or on the verge of cramp constantly if I've been on my feet all day. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do for my next ski trip to help with this problem? Thank you in advance!

 

[bounceswoosh]

Hi NProcter,

I have huge calves, too. The best thing to do is find an excellent boot fitter. There's a thread here somewhere that lists recommended boot fitters all over the world - most likely, it will have someone in your area.

If your calves are hurting when wearing flat shoes and walking uphill though - that's not a big calf issue. That sounds like a *tight* calf issue. Do you wear heels most of the time? Your achilles tendon may be shortened and need to be very slowly coaxed into lengthening. Even pretty neutral ski boots will put you just slightly forward of perpendicular to the ground, and if your calves are already tight, that's going to kill.

 

[badger]

. Anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do for my next ski trip to help with this problem? Thank you in advance!

Oh, so sorry to hear about your introduction to skiing! You truly had a miserable experience.
The first thing I would like to recommend is taking some time selecting your boot. I realize you are probably renting at this point; but if you could find a shop where the boot rentals come from a demo department, you may have not only a better boot, but a better fitting one as well. Perhaps you were going that route, I just don't know from the post. Your ski boots should not be causing pain!!! And if you were wearing thick socks along with an ill-fitting boot you'd be in a world of hurt. And cold.
Skiing is a wonderful and rewarding sport. Let your next experience be one that you can take by the reins, from boots to slopes, and your day may end just beautifully.

 

[altagirl]

Welcome! Glad you got through your experience on the mountain alright! I think it's unfortunately a pretty common thing for well meaning spouses and friends to take people on terrain that is over their heads their first time. I think it's easy for the average person to forget where they started and think that things that are easy to them as an advanced skier will be easy for everyone else too... Probably one of the reasons it's so advisable to actually take formal lessons if you can!

Sorry to hear about your issues with your calves, but it might be good to post a new thread about this as it might catch a little more attention from people who have experienced something similar?

 

[2ski2moro]

We are so focused on boots and fit, that we didn't see the most obvious thing. She posted in the Meltdown thread. That's right for meltdown, wrong for boots.

NProcter -Let's go back to meltdown for a minute. Did you take lessons or did they just take you up the mountain?

 

[bounceswoosh]

We are so focused on boots and fit, that we didn't see the most obvious thing. She posted in the Meltdown thread. That's right for meltdown, wrong for boots.

NProcter -Let's go back to meltdown for a minute. Did you take lessons or did they just take you up the mountain?

Oops, you're right. NProcter's post started and ended with boots, so that's what I focused on. NProcter, I definitely encourage you to get a lesson, rather than relying on spouse or father for instruction. That rarely goes well.

 

[altagirl]

I agree - see a bootfitter about the calf pain, and tell the boys you want a lesson with an instructor next time you head up on the mountain. Two things that are worth the money in skiing - boots that fit and good instruction.

 

[NProcter]

We are so focused on boots and fit, that we didn't see the most obvious thing. She posted in the Meltdown thread. That's right for meltdown, wrong for boots.

NProcter -Let's go back to meltdown for a minute. Did you take lessons or did they just take you up the mountain?

I had a lesson about 8 years ago! But nothing formal before my trip in March, my dad took me to Chill Factor in Manchester a few times and I just went up and down for a few hours each time. The pain was the same but much more manageable as slop only 30 seconds and then back up to top and with breaks in between.
The first day of proper skiing I was just taken straight up there! The reason I got so panicky was various different things that had happened, in the boot shop for example my Dad put pressure on to select a boot that was uncomfortable from walking out of the shop! Then we had to walk across town to the lift which hurt then que for ages which standing in boots killed, I was all wrapped up (too many layers!) so got over hot and that can stress me out as I feel claustrophobic in a lot of clothing and if I get too hot I seem to panick. It was just an awful start. I enjoyed the skiing as much as I could and certainly calmed down a lot by day 3 and seemed to relax into it and just listen to myself and take my time. I think dad/spouse trying to coach me both with different instructions and both telling me what I was doing wrong just all got too much! I was a good skier once left to do a run in relative peace! Luckily I am not going with my dad next time! Thank you all so much for posting replies especially about my boots hurting me. I am going to go to a boot fitter and invest in my own pair as I think the money will be worth it to enjoy the trip and ski better. (after all it is not cheap to ski so seems pointless to pay all that money and not enjoy or be able to do it 1 day out of 3) x