Staying home while the family skis...

[Delawhere]

(My apologies in advance for the self centered rambling. It's one of those days)

My kids have a three day weekend so I planned an extended-family ski trip to Okemo. Unfortunately, I've been ill with bronchitis for the past two weeks. I decided to stay home since I can't even bring in groceries without getting winded. Fortunately, the rest of my family still went skiing. They aren't die hard skiers but I'm happy that I was able to talk them into going without me. My guess is that they'll ski only in the afternoons. They'll enjoy the visit with my BIL and SIL.

In the meantime I'm home with my FIL, who moved in with us after my MIL died a year ago. It's just as well that I'm home. Last winter he burned an old shed down. He decided burning it was faster than dismantling it. It got out of hand and caught the adjacent shed on fire That shed was filled with propane, kerosene and gasoline and had snow and ice blocking the doors. He casually mentioned that there was a problem to my son. My son not only put out the shed that was on fire but more importantly, put out the fire in the adjacent shed. Since it was winter we didn't have water for the hose but my son shoveled a ton of snow to put the fires out. Can you tell I'm proud of my son?

Two weeks later my FIL started the base cuts to cut down a large tree before he realized that it would land on the house. He then brought his dogs inside so they would be safe. He left my dogs outside, waiting by the door that the tree would land on if it finished cracking. Nor did he did mention anything to my kids who were having a snack at the kitchen table, under the path of the tree.

Observations from two weeks of illness....

I have terrific employees. As the boss, I have always assumed that I couldn't unexpectedly miss much work. Now I know better. They did a terrific job and we only lost one client. I never liked that client anyways.

It is possible to reach the end of the internet. BTDT.

Reading, usually one of my favorite past times, takes a lot of energy.

Even with almost two thousand cable TV channels, there is nothing worth watching. This actually makes me happy because I now realize that I haven't been missing anything by not regularly watching TV. No wonder I read so much.

Physical activity is a HUGE part of my life. When thinking about I was going to spend my weekend, I realized that my usual "fun stuff" all involves physical activity. For the past couple of weeks I've been too ill to care but now that I am feeling a little better I definitely care that even a short walk is more than I can handle.

Life must be good if these are my only complaints. In the grand scheme of things a few weeks of bronchitis is nothing.

If you've read this far, thanks for listening.

 

[dloveski]

I read that far and enjoyed your post. Feel better, get strong, keep your fabulous perspective and sense of humor---it will get you through and you'll be be good as new in no time.

And watch that FIL----maybe you could make a sitcome out of his misadventures.

 

[Mom of Redheads]

I'm so sorry you're still feeling badly, but at least it sounds like you are on the road to recovery! Sucks to miss skiing though...

I am worried about your FIL! It sounds very stressful for you and I hope you have lots of fire extinguishers!

Hang in there and don't let yourself get down. As you pointed out, a few weeks in the grand scheme is barely a blip...

 

[merrydog]

Delaware,

I echo the wishes for a speedy recovery for you. It sounds like you're keeping your humor despite the illness. May you be back on the mountain soon.

 

[ski diva]

I read it, too. Doesn't sound to me like you're complaining. But I have a few comments:

• I agree -- all those TV channels and nothing on. Discouraging, isn't it?

• Isn't the story about your FIL the genesis of the "Burn the shed" mantra from last year's Diva trip?

• Re reading: Try "Fade to White." Very light, takes no effort, and plenty of skiing to tide you through.

• Feel better. And take a ski trip when you do.

 

[vickie]

Isn't the story about your FIL the genesis of the "Burn the shed" mantra from last year's Diva trip?

Yes, yes, it is!

To explain the connection ... Delawhere and I were on the lift when she told me about the fire. We talked about how her FIL didn't really mean for the other shed to catch on fire. It just happened. But he also didn't not start the fire on the old shed out of fear that something bad might happen, such as, fire breaking out in a nearby shed full of flammables!

We decided we should be more like that with skiing -- just do what we want to do and not be paralyzed by thinking about the possible bad outcomes. We charged off that lift and started skiing whatever looked interesting -- black diamonds, black diamonds with moguls, trees -- things that fear might otherwise have kept us from trying.

That shed-burning incident was an inspiration. It led us to, I believe, one of the best ski days either of us had ever had. And, of course, it was hugely fun to call out "Burn the Shed!" to each other as we got ready to start down a new run.

Hmmm ... wonder what the tree-chopping incident is trying to tell us.

 

[Serafina]

That shed-burning incident was an inspiration. It led us to, I believe, one of the best ski days either of us had ever had. And, of course, it was hugely fun to call out "Burn the Shed!" to each other as we got ready to start down a new run.

Love that. I read the OP and when I got to the decision to burn the shed I thought "Oh, that makes sense. Sounds like a good idea to me." And in Vickie's context, it sounds like an even better idea. Not that the things that look interesting to her (black diamonds with moguls and trees) look interesting to me...but the blue slope where you can't actually see over the crest of the hill until you've committed to taking that run does. And next time, I'm going to be thinking of that flaming shack!

Delawhere, get better soon! I have had a scratchy throat all afternoon and I keep telling myself it must be allergies or dry air, and not a cold coming on...because I cannot stand the thought of wasting tomorrow's beautiful weather at home with the NyQuil instead of burning down the slopes. Tons of sympathy here, and I hope it totally clears off for you, and soon!

 

[MaineSkiLady]

Fun post. Hey, if you've got to be hanging out, being sick....
But--GET WELL SOON!

FIL...oh my. In all seriousness...does he do stuff like this more and more often? Kind of a worry. How old is he? Has he been to doctor lately, with this type of info offered to doctor? Erratic behavior (unless, of course, he's done it all his life?) that accompanies aging can be a symptom of other things going on. Hope he is okay. ((hugs))

 

[marge]

Oh gosh. :sad I hope you're feeling better soon.

 

[Jenny]

Hope you're feeling better soon!

And to prove I, too, read the whole post - Is the client you lost the one who is so snobby about only skiing out west?

 

[RhodySkier]

Delawhere, feel better soon! Love the shed story (glad nobody was hurt!). "Burn the shed" is my new mantra. Forget "push the bush". :D

 

[deannatoby]

I think it's totally inspiring that you take those careless things your FIL did and turn it into great ski days...not to mention letting him continue living in your house! The modern trend seems to be away from familial caretaking because it is ALWAYS hard between the personality clashes and the extra work. I wanna be like you one day, patient and all-suffering (but that doesn't mean I want to always suffer).

 

[Delawhere]

We decided we should be more like that with skiing -- just do what we want to do and not be paralyzed by thinking about the possible bad outcomes. We charged off that lift and started skiing whatever looked interesting -- black diamonds, black diamonds with moguls, trees -- things that fear might otherwise have kept us from trying.

That shed-burning incident was an inspiration. It led us to, I believe, one of the best ski days either of us had ever had. And, of course, it was hugely fun to call out "Burn the Shed!" to each other as we got ready to start down a new run.

Yep! That day with Vickie was The Best Ski Day ever. <happy sigh> We were inspired and confident. If one of us hesitated, the other would say that we could do it and indeed we could.

Actually, that day was a seminal day for my life in general. I've carried a lot of that confidence and attitude over to other parts of my life, particularly sports. My karate instructors noticed that I was embracing the opportunity to try some new things, including things I had previously shied away from.

FIL...oh my. In all seriousness...does he do stuff like this more and more often? Kind of a worry.

Things have quieted down. My FIL was always a "can do" or "git-er-done" problem solving type of guy. I think that when he moved in with us, he wanted to prove that he wasn't helpless so he took on some things that in the not too distant past, would have been no problem. For good or bad, I think these incidents have shown him some of the limitations of Parkinson's and age.

Physically, he is actually capable of living on own but he never, ever, cooked himself a meal, or cleaned or did laundry or... When my MIL was literally on her death bed he came in to the bedroom and told her how proud he was that he had made himself a scrambled egg. Seriously.

I am eternally grateful to my MIL that she raised her sons to be self sufficient men.

Is the client you lost the one who is so snobby about only skiing out west?

Nope. Different client. You know how it goes, most of my clients are normal and nice, but there are certain people who are always unpleasant. I find I am happier if I don't take unpleasantness personally and I stopped taking it personally once I realized that generally these people are unpleasant to all the "little people" in their lives. These people will always find something to complain about. Life is too short to give much bother to these folks. I give thanks that I'm not married or related to them then I head into the next exam room where there is inevitably a puppy to play with. I love my job!!

I think it's totally inspiring...not to mention letting him continue living in your house! The modern trend seems to be away from familial caretaking because it is ALWAYS hard between the personality clashes and the extra work.

Personality clashes - I'm fortunate this hasn't been an issue. My FIL doesn't say much. That's just his personality. This means that he isn't butting in or telling us what we are doing wrong or...any of the other issues that could cause discord.

To his credit, I can see that he is trying to fit in with our family. In the past, when he ate dinner with us, he would eat in silence, finish his meal and leave the table. We (DH, DS, DD and I) generally sit around the table and chat. Now, he sits and listens to the conversation. I have found that I can get him to talk if I ask him specific questions. "What was your first car?" if we are talking about cars.

There is no doubt that my husband got his wonderful sense of humor from my MIL.

FWIW - Having my FIL has some unanticipated benefits. With teenagers, it is easy to be snarky to their sibling and indifferent to their parents but let's face it, it's tough to treat your grandfather with anything but respect. I specifically assigned both kids chores that involves their grandfather. The graciousness with which they interact with my FIL gives me a glimpse into how I think they'll be as adults. At least I hope so because I like what I see.

I wanna be like you one day, patient and all-suffering (but that doesn't mean I want to always suffer).

Oh, I didn't mean for this thread to imply that I am all-suffering. Quite the contrary, it was supposed to be a vaguely humorous bunch of observations noted during the short time when I was relatively recliner-bound. Really, life is good if my biggest complaint is that there is nothing on TV.

• Re reading: Try "Fade to White." Very light, takes no effort, and plenty of skiing to tide you through.

I will read your books. I am soooo embarrassed that I haven't read them yet. They are just a different genre than I usually read. I read, loved and LIVED your husband's books. I need to get my book clubs to choose his books. And I need to read your books.

 

[ski diva]

I will read your books. I am soooo embarrassed that I haven't read them yet. They are just a different genre than I usually read. I read, loved and LIVED your husband's books. I need to get my book clubs to choose his books. And I need to read your books.

Now I'M embarassed! No need to feel like you have to read them. I was just joking around, myself.

BTW, if your book club (or anyone else's book club) decides to do one of Jon's books, he's only too happy to call in via speaker phone or Skype.

 

[vickie]

Actually, that day was a seminal day for my life in general. I've carried a lot of that confidence and attitude over to other parts of my life, particularly sports. My karate instructors noticed that I was embracing the opportunity to try some new things, including things I had previously shied away from.

Between ^^^ and the inspiration that day has become for others, I have to think Dave is nodding his head and saying "you're doing me proud".