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Why don't more women ski?
- Thread starter ski diva
- Start date
When I was in college a lot of my friends skied. But as I got older, they got fewer and fewer. For some it was kids, and the whole process was too difficult. For others, it was money. And for others, it was just lack of either time or interest. I'm the only one of us who's managed to keep at it.
snowflake
Certified Ski Diva
I think as woman age their priorities change. High School age and younger, they have no responsibility, and are able to enjoy skiing without guilt. College age there's more responsibility with school, but no families or children yet. After graduation there's jobs, thus less time for skiing, more dedication to climbing the corporate ladder etc. Finally mairage kids, lots and lots of responsibility less and less time for skiing. Skiing isn't a priority any longs and goes by the way side. Or at least that's what I see happening...as for myself I have neither kids nor a corporate ladder type job...Bring on the Skiing!
liquidfeet
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I don't know, but it really bothers me. I'd really like to find women friends to ski with, but there just aren't any around here. Well, there are, but I've outskiied the women who helped me become a skier when I first moved here to New England. There's an aggression factor, or something, that makes men want to ski faster and more often and more, MORE. Somehow. I have that too, but I haven't found women who feel that way. I'm hoping that on this forum there will be some.
I'm relatively new to skiing (3 years), but I want to be able to do the whole mountain, and race fast, too. My goal last year was to get down White Heat at Sunday River without fear, and assertively. If you've ever been there, you know what I mean. I did that. I also wanted to get proficient at bumps. Couldn't even work on bumps, because IT DIDN'T SNOW so there weren't any. Maybe this year I can meet that goal. Now I want to advance to fast enough in the gates to warrant a spandex suit. This will take money, hours and hours, and luck.
Anyone else out there doing this sort of thing? Please say YES!
I'm relatively new to skiing (3 years), but I want to be able to do the whole mountain, and race fast, too. My goal last year was to get down White Heat at Sunday River without fear, and assertively. If you've ever been there, you know what I mean. I did that. I also wanted to get proficient at bumps. Couldn't even work on bumps, because IT DIDN'T SNOW so there weren't any. Maybe this year I can meet that goal. Now I want to advance to fast enough in the gates to warrant a spandex suit. This will take money, hours and hours, and luck.
Anyone else out there doing this sort of thing? Please say YES!
tcarey
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
We did our L3 exam on White Heat-kicked my ass by the second day! Keep on going in the bumps even if you don't want to. Ski them when they really suck.
I wear this used pink spandex suit when I race- it's my goodluck race suit. I want a new one but it just would not be the same. I bought it used about 3 years ago and it may be six or more years old and about 2 sizes too big. They all know who I am when I come to the gate!! Haha
Terry
I wear this used pink spandex suit when I race- it's my goodluck race suit. I want a new one but it just would not be the same. I bought it used about 3 years ago and it may be six or more years old and about 2 sizes too big. They all know who I am when I come to the gate!! Haha
Terry
liquidfeet
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
This forum is so much fun. I treasure it. I can just imagine that lumpy (loose?) pink spandex right now. Someone in my league wears an 80's vintage rainbow suit. What I'd give for that thing!
This year I'm going to pull a pair of spandex pants over my regular ski pants for the races - they have a loud Hawaiian print on them. That will have to do until I qualify as a faster racer.
This year I'm going to pull a pair of spandex pants over my regular ski pants for the races - they have a loud Hawaiian print on them. That will have to do until I qualify as a faster racer.
Lola
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Hell! Not to be controversial or anything . . .but . . .
Why don't more women run for political office?
Why don't more women become astronauts?
Why don't more women do anything???
I truly believe that most women are socialized to support the progress and efforts of others (husbands, children, etc.) rather than to support their own progress. I don't know how many times I have suited up in the lodge, only to catch the eye of a 'lodge mom" reading a book or doing a crossword puzzle while Dad and he kids ski! It makes my blood boil. But I smile at her and ask her why she's not out there? Nine times outta ten she will say something like . .
"Oh, I wouldn't know what to do." or
"Who will make the lunches?" or
"Really, I am happy here waiting for the family to come in. I'm really happy just to wait. You know I'm happy, right?"
I know that deep down inside she is not happy. She is letting her life and her dreams just pass on by with the ticking of the clock while she waits to be a martyr and serve her family. But what she doesn't think about is that one day, those kids will be grown and on their own and her husband may not appreciate the martyr role that she has become so accustomed to.
Personally, I think that the best think a woman can do for her husband and her children is to demonstrate to them that she is more than a wife and a mother. That she has her own unique contribution to the world. That sitting around and waiting is a lousy way to spend one's life.
OK, I'll get off my soap box now. I am sure that I will get some comments from others who don't agree with me. And I welcome everyone's comments. These are just my own. And rest assured, I honor the comments of those who don't agreee with me. We are all entitled to our own beliefs. ;)
Peace, Lola
Why don't more women run for political office?
Why don't more women become astronauts?
Why don't more women do anything???
I truly believe that most women are socialized to support the progress and efforts of others (husbands, children, etc.) rather than to support their own progress. I don't know how many times I have suited up in the lodge, only to catch the eye of a 'lodge mom" reading a book or doing a crossword puzzle while Dad and he kids ski! It makes my blood boil. But I smile at her and ask her why she's not out there? Nine times outta ten she will say something like . .
"Oh, I wouldn't know what to do." or
"Who will make the lunches?" or
"Really, I am happy here waiting for the family to come in. I'm really happy just to wait. You know I'm happy, right?"
I know that deep down inside she is not happy. She is letting her life and her dreams just pass on by with the ticking of the clock while she waits to be a martyr and serve her family. But what she doesn't think about is that one day, those kids will be grown and on their own and her husband may not appreciate the martyr role that she has become so accustomed to.
Personally, I think that the best think a woman can do for her husband and her children is to demonstrate to them that she is more than a wife and a mother. That she has her own unique contribution to the world. That sitting around and waiting is a lousy way to spend one's life.
OK, I'll get off my soap box now. I am sure that I will get some comments from others who don't agree with me. And I welcome everyone's comments. These are just my own. And rest assured, I honor the comments of those who don't agreee with me. We are all entitled to our own beliefs. ;)
Peace, Lola
Lola, Great soap box.
You're right on target.
Part of the reason women fall into supporter roll is because of the way we're brought up, but I think another part of it is that "we" reorganize our lives and reprioritize our lives all the time.
We tend to reinvent ourselves when things happen in our life, and adjust our priorities.
If a guy is a skier when he's single, he'll likely be a skier when he's married, and when he becomes a dad..............(you get the idea)
When an average woman makes those transitions her her life, I think she tends to adjust priorities more readily, and thus the lack of enthusiasm for a given activity.
Now..........on the other hand, there is the obsessed woman, or the passionate women who attempts, and sometimes succedes in changing those priorities without giving up her passions. For me, it's skiing!
You're right on target.
Part of the reason women fall into supporter roll is because of the way we're brought up, but I think another part of it is that "we" reorganize our lives and reprioritize our lives all the time.
We tend to reinvent ourselves when things happen in our life, and adjust our priorities.
If a guy is a skier when he's single, he'll likely be a skier when he's married, and when he becomes a dad..............(you get the idea)
When an average woman makes those transitions her her life, I think she tends to adjust priorities more readily, and thus the lack of enthusiasm for a given activity.
Now..........on the other hand, there is the obsessed woman, or the passionate women who attempts, and sometimes succedes in changing those priorities without giving up her passions. For me, it's skiing!
Ski Spirit
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Women and Skiing
I agree but first a woman has to come to the realization of how she's living her life. Having a sense of innately being entitled to live her own life fully needs to be present or developed. From there, she may need to stand up for what she wants in seeming opposition to what her husband/kids may appear to be asking of her (Sit in the lodge all day mom and just be here for whatever we need...??). Not easy points for a lot of women....
As for skiing, perhaps if they could just get a good enough start to get a feel for what's it like. I really think skiing is a metaphor for life in a lot of ways, not to mention incredibly fun...but even more than that...potentially sublime! I think if a woman could understand that feeling, she might be driven to get out there along side husband and kids. (and if that doesn't work, I recommend self defense training to get an understanding of how much power one actually has....)
I agree but first a woman has to come to the realization of how she's living her life. Having a sense of innately being entitled to live her own life fully needs to be present or developed. From there, she may need to stand up for what she wants in seeming opposition to what her husband/kids may appear to be asking of her (Sit in the lodge all day mom and just be here for whatever we need...??). Not easy points for a lot of women....
As for skiing, perhaps if they could just get a good enough start to get a feel for what's it like. I really think skiing is a metaphor for life in a lot of ways, not to mention incredibly fun...but even more than that...potentially sublime! I think if a woman could understand that feeling, she might be driven to get out there along side husband and kids. (and if that doesn't work, I recommend self defense training to get an understanding of how much power one actually has....)
OK, I will, disagree. Up on my soapbox:
In a family, if one of the spouse advances, the family is better off. Granted, if BOTH advances, it's even better for the family. But that's not always possible, at least not often at the same time. So, a re-prioritization need to happen. The question is who should be the one who re-prioritize more?
This goes even further back than that. How many women out there are dating men who's younger, less accomplished and has less potential to better the family? I bet very, very few. I'm not one.
So, if majority of couples are made up of stronger male than female, then it makes perfect sense for the less strong female to support the advancement of their male partner for the maximum benefit of the family.
I was talking mostly about financial and career side of the matters above. But often, once a woman made that choice of "supporting" her spouse, it carries over to non-financial and career matters. So, the harder working male half should be allow to have more free time to unwind, shouldn't he? Un-fashionable as it may be, I can believe there're women who are just as happy as a homebody (or "lodge mom" in this context) as doing the stuff herself. It's her own choice. She's got to be happy with it, right?
Now, if a woman is not happy at the result of that sacrefies, she has every right to make a change. But for the most part, too many women had forgotten how to live HER OWN life by that stage. So she goes on being unhappy yet didn't know what she could do any more!
It doesn't have to be that way.
But it's got to start a lot more fundamental than just go out and do her own thing. She's got to realize she's an equal partner of her husband. When she realize that, perhaps she'll be able to explore her own potential. The rest, would come...
Ok, off my soapbox. Putting my anti-flame jacket on.
playoutside
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Sadly I agree...it seems women get distracted from skiing by the parenting and total family expense; unfortunate more fathers don't step up and insist on hanging in the lodge and encouraging mom to get back out there. I don't live in the land of make believe -- couple of my friends husbands did encourage them to get back out there and take turns in the lodge. It makes the difference, for these friends they are still skiers -- with and without family.
When I see a mom parked with a book in the lodge all day I just want to scream. So much fun is being missed, so sad they can't interact with the family on the slopes.
When I see a mom parked with a book in the lodge all day I just want to scream. So much fun is being missed, so sad they can't interact with the family on the slopes.
I think a lot of "lodge moms" probably just didn't learn when they were younger, and are too intimidated (or something) to try to learn when they're older. With pretty much everything, it's easier to learn when you're younger than older.
My MIL took her first ski lesson when she was in her 40's, fell on a rope tow, tore her MCL, and has refused to ski since.
I'm kind of rambling here, but my point is:
I bet most lodge moms are moms who never learned to ski, then married guys who were skiers. I'd like to think that most moms who skiied pre-kids would keep skiing post-kids.
My MIL took her first ski lesson when she was in her 40's, fell on a rope tow, tore her MCL, and has refused to ski since.
I'm kind of rambling here, but my point is:
I bet most lodge moms are moms who never learned to ski, then married guys who were skiers. I'd like to think that most moms who skiied pre-kids would keep skiing post-kids.
lynseyf
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I don't know but this really frustrates me as well.
My boyfriend learned to ski as a child, but only on dry slopes he had never been on a skiing holiday. We went on our first skiing holiday together and absolutely loved it. The next year we decided to organise a group of our friends to go with, I invited 4 of my female friends and he invited 4 of his male friends and 1 of their girlfriends. 3 of my friends seemed to really enjoy it but 1 of them and the guys girlfriend just didn't get on with it at all, they never really made any effort and I don't really know why. The next year only 1 of the original 4 girls I invited wanted to come on a skiing holiday while 2 of the guys did. The other 2 guys still ski but couldn't go on holiday ( 1 cause his girlfriend hadn't enjoyed it the year before).
My friend who has been skiing twice now is already saying she won't be able to afford to go next year. She is on quite a low paid job but she buys expensive clothes and make up and goes out to bars and clubs a couple of times a month so its skiing is obviously just not a priority. Looks like it will just be me and 3 guys :( . I don't have a problem being one of the guys ( I go MTBing with the same guys) but it would be nice to have one of my friends come..... I don't know what to do to encourage them tho????
My boyfriend learned to ski as a child, but only on dry slopes he had never been on a skiing holiday. We went on our first skiing holiday together and absolutely loved it. The next year we decided to organise a group of our friends to go with, I invited 4 of my female friends and he invited 4 of his male friends and 1 of their girlfriends. 3 of my friends seemed to really enjoy it but 1 of them and the guys girlfriend just didn't get on with it at all, they never really made any effort and I don't really know why. The next year only 1 of the original 4 girls I invited wanted to come on a skiing holiday while 2 of the guys did. The other 2 guys still ski but couldn't go on holiday ( 1 cause his girlfriend hadn't enjoyed it the year before).
My friend who has been skiing twice now is already saying she won't be able to afford to go next year. She is on quite a low paid job but she buys expensive clothes and make up and goes out to bars and clubs a couple of times a month so its skiing is obviously just not a priority. Looks like it will just be me and 3 guys :( . I don't have a problem being one of the guys ( I go MTBing with the same guys) but it would be nice to have one of my friends come..... I don't know what to do to encourage them tho????
tradygirl
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
[Steps up on the soapbox after abc]
Why do women have this strange urge to always try to change the friends that they have, and not realize that sometimes it's best to love your friends/SOs for what they are and find other friends to ski/bike/whatever with? Don't get me wrong ... I'm extremely guilty of this sometimes. I've recently come to the conclusion that you need different people for different parts of your life. For example, I have my bike friends, my ski friends, my climbing friends, my book club friends, my girly friends, and my school friends. There's some overlap when it's convenient, but otherwise I try not to force them together. I don't stress out that my biking friends might not want to ski with me, or that my girly friends would never be caught dead going camping. I know I don't want to go running or shopping or to get my nails done with my friends that like that stuff. Some people just don't like everything you like, and it's not worth your time and energy trying to change them.
I think that's the same in the "lodge mom" case. Maybe she really doesn't want to ski? She wants to spend time with her family and that's her way of doing it, instead of staying home and missing out on the entire vacation. She might be happy as a clam sitting in the warm lodge, reading a book and relaxing.
Hey, more powder for me.
[/Steps off soapbox to make room for the next Diva]
Kimmyt
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Alot of my female friends that are not as into skiing as I am have this reason. The cold. I've found it to be fairly prevalent. They ski, we'll go on trips. Just that most of them have to be cajoled (and really, I don't have the time or inclination to act out that role). There are the few that are just as die-hard as I am, these tend to be the ones who are older, no kids, so maybe they're 'allowed' to have fun? Go figure.
I had a discussion with my fiancee fairly early-on in our relationship once it got serious. I established with him that I WOULD NOT be that mom in the lodge. I did not want to lose myself, my athletic ability, into the lives of others. That is not to say that when I have children, I will not put them first. But I made it clear to him that I would not be the only one making sacrifices. I love my active life, and when I have them I will love my children. I'd like to think the two can coexist in some form or other. Many other women may feel that having something of their own makes them selfish. I'm lucky enough to be engaged to a man who fell in love with me when he first saw me because he thought I looked hot with my big (trad climbing) rack and who fully supports me to be as active and athletic as I want (while also indulging my desire to cook fancy dinners, go on the infrequent shopping binge, and trying to turn him into a 'well-dressed male').
Also, as tradygirl said, I'm a big fan of categorizing my friends. I do try and introduce them to new experiences, but I do not push them to do something they don't want to do. For example, I've invited my best friend to come climbing/skiing/etc. with me, but she really has no interest, and I don't want her to change who she is, because she just isn't into that. Not every woman has to share my interests, but I think I may be very lucky in that I've found a decent array of women friends who share certain of my interests, and if I want to do X with another lady, I can draw from these various pools of people I've surrounded myself with.
K.
I had a discussion with my fiancee fairly early-on in our relationship once it got serious. I established with him that I WOULD NOT be that mom in the lodge. I did not want to lose myself, my athletic ability, into the lives of others. That is not to say that when I have children, I will not put them first. But I made it clear to him that I would not be the only one making sacrifices. I love my active life, and when I have them I will love my children. I'd like to think the two can coexist in some form or other. Many other women may feel that having something of their own makes them selfish. I'm lucky enough to be engaged to a man who fell in love with me when he first saw me because he thought I looked hot with my big (trad climbing) rack and who fully supports me to be as active and athletic as I want (while also indulging my desire to cook fancy dinners, go on the infrequent shopping binge, and trying to turn him into a 'well-dressed male').
Also, as tradygirl said, I'm a big fan of categorizing my friends. I do try and introduce them to new experiences, but I do not push them to do something they don't want to do. For example, I've invited my best friend to come climbing/skiing/etc. with me, but she really has no interest, and I don't want her to change who she is, because she just isn't into that. Not every woman has to share my interests, but I think I may be very lucky in that I've found a decent array of women friends who share certain of my interests, and if I want to do X with another lady, I can draw from these various pools of people I've surrounded myself with.
K.
I think it's more than just women who do this, though, and it's more than just skiing. I think it's human nature that when we've found something we love, we want to share it with people we care about, and when the people we care about are ambivalent about the thing we love, we sometimes feel like it's a personal rejection. I had to explain recently to a good friend why I have no desire to learn how to SCUBA (friend and his wife dive and want me to go on dive vacations with them). Did the "I'm claustrophobic" excuse work? Nope. Did the "I just recently heard a horror story about a divemaster leaving a student behind, only to later return and find the student semi-conscious and now the student has some lung infection" excuse work? Nope. Nor did the "I don't want to rely on a mechanical device for breathing this early in my life" excuse. The "I don't want to spend that much money on a new hobby" excuse worked, though.
This isn't really a response that is on point for this thread, but, it explains why my butt is laying out on a beach rather than 50 feet underwater. Not sure how frequently this translates to women and skiing, but I'm just throwing out another potential explanation.
And yes, we all do.
I found I'm past the stage of trying to change my friends, or trying to entice them to my favorate activities. But I'm NOT past the point of trying to do that to my "love" ones. So it's hard when it comes to those who're closest to me. While I don't exactly felt it's a personal rejection, it's definitely disappointing...
As for why women don't do a lot of the things, I do feel some women don't care as much for sporting or outdoor'ish activities as men do. That's just what I felt. Nothing scientific to back it up though.
We all have our own likes and dislikes. I'd much rather get up early, get muddy and dirty biking, or freeze my butt off skiing all day in a blizzard, have a few beers with friends and be exhausted in bed by 9pm than shop and get dressed up and go party all night. I'm sure there are plenty of women who are just the opposite out there. Hopefully, as we get older, we grow into ourselves and give ourselves permission to do what we love as well as pass on the things we don't, even if it makes you seem "weird" to others.
So if someone wants to sit in a ski lodge and stare out the window all day, I just hope it's what they want to be doing. Maybe they're so busy in their day to day life, that's their way to relax. Just do what you like!
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