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Viral humor

skibum4ever

Angel Diva
Got this from a friend today:


Wow … bars, clubs, and gyms all closed. My life is about to be exactly the same!

Hey, creative community! Just a reminder that Shakespeare was quarantined for the plague when he wrote King Lear. No pressure!

Remember when we thought we were going to have a bad week because of the time change, full moon, and Friday the 13th. We didn’t have a clue!

Definition of irony: gas under two dollars a gallon and no place to go…

Homeschooling is going well – two students suspended for fighting, one teacher fired for drinking on the job!

Your grandparents were called to war. You’re being called to sit on your couch. You can do this!!

April Fool's Day is canceled this year because no made-up prank could match the unbelievable that’s going on in the world right now.

With March and April canceled, the next holiday is Cinco De Mayo – sponsored by Corona.​
September morning 2050: John opened the last package of toilet paper bought by his parents in 2020.

Since everyone has started washing their hands like we’re supposed to, we’ll be working on shapes and colors next week.

If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14-day quarantine, you probably should have been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19.

I’d hate to see a diarrhea virus breakout right now… people would go out to buy all the nose spray!

On Monday we start Diarrhea Awareness Week. Runs until Friday.

The kid I hired to clean up the poop in the back yard just realized I don’t have a dog … #OutOfToiletPaper

Pro tip: if you get pulled over, just start coughing.

All these kids who have been learning Common Core math are about to learn how to “Carry the One” from their new homeschool teachers.

That moment when you’re worried about the elderly and realize that you are the elderly …

Our cleaning lady just called and told us she will be working from home and will send us instructions about what to do.

Also highly contagious is kindness, patience, love, enthusiasm, and a positive attitude. Don’t wait to catch it from others…be the carrier!
 

skibum4ever

Angel Diva
I heard a Dr. on TV saying in this time of Coronavirus while staying at home we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things i'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Tequila, a bottle of Whisky, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!!!
 

skibum4ever

Angel Diva
Well, here's laughing at my personal lack of crafting ability:

I have progressed from a paper towel mask to a sock mask. I'm now working on a flannel pajama mask.

Given how hard it's raining here today, the next step may actually be trying to sew a mask. Anything to avoid doing paperwork.

I have made a very important personal discovery. Wearing a mask makes it very hard to nibble. I may have to start wearing one 24/7.


received_556702858284794.jpegIMG_20200406_101908783_1586193905178.jpg
 

Jilly

Moderator
Staff member
Anything with a loose weave, ie a sock, is not going to be of much help. You really need a double layer of flannel on the inside and cotton on the outside. But looks good!!
 

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