Trip from hell

[alaski]

I just had to share (vent) about my last ski trip. I met up with a (male) friend to do some skiing in BC. Well, turned out that the entire trip was engineered so that he could hit on me almost the entire time, starting as soon as we drove to the middle of Nowhere, BC. I told him I wasn't interested but he wouldn't let it go, and kept putting his hand on my knee when we were driving, putting his arm around me on the chairlift, and trying to get "stuck" with hotel rooms with only one bed, etc. no matter how many times I "corrected" his behavior.

Worst of all the skiing SUCKED! All the resorts we went to were lame, and we spent about 7 hours in the car every day. I cut the trip short and flew home immediately, but not before I'd had to spend a few days with that dude (working our way back to a place where I catch a plane), fending off his advances and not sleeping a wink because I was so freaked out by the whole thing. ugh!

 

[num]

Oh man. That really sucks. How long were you stuck with this jerk?

 

[Robyn]

Holy smokes, that's bad. I can understand him wanting to date you, you are a Diva and all , but jeez! Give it up when you refuse.

On the other hand ski dates can be a blast as well. I just had my first on Sunday.

 

[alaski]

It was about 4 days, all told, num. This was a dude who was about 15 years older than me and who hadn't expressed one single whit of attraction before, ever. He was totally dishonest about the entire trip!

lol Robyn - if he had been honest from the start or had expressed his "interest" in a less creepy situation (say - in civilization), I would have been a little more understanding. Still not interested, but it was just plain creepy to be stuck in seedy hotel rooms and long car drives with this guy who clearly waited until I would be stuck with him for a while to start hitting on me. It was so completely inappropriate, I'm not sure I can adequately express how inappropriate it was! I cut our third day of skiing short (only on the mountain for two hours) and made him drive me back to Seattle so I could get on a plane. He was gross and creepy. *shudder*

But it's over now, and I guess I've learned that you can't trust anyone...

 

[alaski]

Oh, and tell us about your ski date! See, it's not creepy when you KNOW it's a date from the start.

 

[Robyn]

I'm going to leave details out of it but it was an a guy who I've dated before (not during ski season) and when we broke up it was mainly due to poor communication (we met to hash things out and discuss before skiing together). I'm being quite cautious and making him prove himself but we actually were pretty well matched skill wise. Although I had to make him take mid run breaks since I was on second day legs and couldn't keep bombing all the way down the mountain at top speed all day without a break at all.

 

[Pequenita]

Oh man, alaski, that sounds MISERABLE!! I've noticed that lots of people will read things into situations that don't exist, and it sounds like in this guy's head, it was a date situation. Blech - I am grossed out for you. I'm almost at the point now where I just assume that any time a single guy asks me to do anything, it's a date. A little overkill, sure, but more often than not, the right thought process. Sigh.

And of course, I hope Robyn gets the info she needs from her date.

 

[Kimmyt]

Oh man, that guy sounds lame.

Pushy guys= such a turnoff

 

[alaski]

Thanks, and I agree with you - it seemed like overkill before this happened, but now I will just assume that guys will think any activity is a date. It sucks that we have to be so vigilant, but it's better than the alternative.

 

[Lori_K]

Eeew, Alaski, just EEWW! I don't know how you stood it for four whole days. Creepy. I think if I was in that situation, if the guy didn't ease off after the first day, that I would have ditched him at the ski hill and found a taxi or bus or SOMETHING back to civilization. You were WAY more polite than I would have been.

 

[alaski]

Well, we're talking serious backwater BC here. No taxis, no buses. Hardly any traffic, really! I didn't know what to do other than just stick it out until I was back in an OK place. As we were headed back to Seattle, it was unclear as to whether the passes were open, and I said that I would be catching a plane in Spokane if that were the case. Luckily the passes were open.

And lest you think I was too polite, I let my inner ******************** out to play the SECOND we got to a safe place (my friend's house). My friend (big tough guy) said that it was so 100% obvious that I wanted NOTHING to do with that guy - he just didn't have a clue, totally oblivious. ICK. Makes my skin crawl, even now.

 

[MaineSkiLady]

So sorry you had such a negative experience :(
I wouldn't have made it to the 4th day, either. After the proverbial "handwriting" was on the wall, maybe Day 1, I'd have been
Best part of all this for you: it's OVER.
We're here.

 

[alaski]

Thanks It helps when people understand how I feel!

You know what's really goofy? At first, I was really embarrassed and a little ashamed about it. I didn't even want to tell anyone. Isn't that weird?

 

[snowbunny1976]

Nope, not weird at all. It's a girl thing, I think. We're taught from day 1 that men's behaviors towards us are usually somehow our fault. This is an extreme example, but it's why rape victims feel shame for what was forcibly done to them. As long as you know, though, that it's NOT your fault - his actions are 100% HIS to own. He's the idiot for thinking that just because you agreed to a ski trip that it meant he would score. Gosh, some men just have NO clue!

Robyn -- I, too, had my first ski date recently! And thankfully it went very well... at least *I* thought so. Now I'm getting a bit of the cold shoulder, so I'm starting to think maybe I'm the only one who enjoyed it.

 

[Kimmyt]

now I will just assume that guys will think any activity is a date

Unfortunately, for the most part that seems to be true, at least it did for me when I was single. Face it, we are just THAT HOT, so really can you blame them? EMBRACE YOUR SKIDIVA HOTNESS.

Really, if you think about it, lots of guys have wives or g.f.s that don't do anything fun, so it makes sense that some guys out there will be overly eager when they meet an amazing girl who kicks some serious skiing booty and try and hunt her down. Sometimes they get so wrapped up in what your hobbies are and how cool you are that they ignore the fact that there may not be any chemistry there.

The good thing is that some of them actually learn their lesson, when you tell them you're not interested. I have a very good climbing friend who I am great friends with who used to be into me. I told him no, he gave it up, and we're good friends, and I love his now-fiancee to death! And there are those guys out there that actually want nothing but a ski friend (though lotsa times those guys have wives or girlfriends so you gotta watch and make sure they don't think you want to steal their man or something).

K.

 

[alaski]

Oh god, there is NO WAY I would ever want to be friends with this guy EVER. lol! I just hope that he never contacts me ever again.

 

[Sheena]

Oh how horrific! Ick, just ick.

 

[tradygirl]

Really, if you think about it, lots of guys have wives or g.f.s that don't do anything fun, so it makes sense that some guys out there will be overly eager when they meet an amazing girl who kicks some serious skiing booty and try and hunt her down. Sometimes they get so wrapped up in what your hobbies are and how cool you are that they ignore the fact that there may not be any chemistry there.

That's kind of a funny comment, because in college I was always so frustrated because the guys were always more interested in a piece of tail than a girl who could kick their butts all over the mountain! I've realized though as I've gotten older, you just have to find the guys who appreciate it, then it's a whole new game.

Back to the story at hand....
GROSS.

Nothing, I mean NOTHING, is more uncomfortable and gross than unwanted advances from a guy you have no interest in. I can't even imagin being stuck with him for days! Nasty.

 

[alaski]

Thanks girls! That makes me feel better.

 

[SnowHot]

Um, I'm still trying to figure out why someone of your caliber and intelligence was spending time with someone who isn't bright enough to understand the definition of "no".

I'm guessing that you felt sorry for him and figured that darwin award candidates need friends too?

Maybe next time take some crayolas so you can draw a picture for him and color code it so he "gets it".

Next question:
Is he still a friend, or has his insistence of pursuit squashed that?


FWIW, a good share of my best friends are guys. Its very good to have good friends who understand boundries. Since I'm flirty, I am usually the one who blurs those lines, but I'm working on that.