Super-skiing SO/spouse

[MaineSkiLady]

We have the non skiing spouse thread and conundrum. Anyone else on the other end of the spectrum as I am? (I know several of you are!) How do you handle it?

I guess after this many years, I'm resigned. I worked like crazy those first 4 or so seasons to get "up to speed." (not actual speed as much as capability) But, at this far later date, I realize the scales are forever tipped. He's always going to be stronger, with better endurance, certainly more adept technically. Not that it's a "contest," but I usually wind up waving him on when I've had enough.

He's patient and kind (usually ) but I know when he needs to go hit the big bumps, etc. Luckily, we have a frequent-skier friend who is a good challenger/match. In this scenario, I hate to keep TWO of them at bay.

But these are the types who are unstoppable in terms of motivation to get "out there." The day one of them says, "I think I'll pass today" is the day I put hand to forehead and/or get out the thermometer.

 

[Native Vail Gal]

Luckily, we happily ski together. I know I hold him up sometimes, but those days are days that we just say that we'll meet at the end of a run at a certain place.

He's patient. Very, very patient.

 

[MaineSkiLady]

We do too, but I just have to let him hit the bumps when he gets "that" look. :D

 

[Robyn]

My DBF loves to hit jumps, huck cornices and such and I'm not very into it. It hurts my knees and necks so I try to avoid them. In fact this came to blows on Sunday as he was giving me a hard time and didn't understand that I just wasn't going to risk blowing out my knee or getting hurt some other way the weekend before my family arrives for our big ski trip. But, I let him huck cornices and he waits for me (heck he's got around 100 lbs on me gravity works better :p ) and thus far we've been pretty good skiing together.

 

[Severine]

Hubby is definitely the super-skier in our relationship. He started as a child, whereas I didn't learn until I was 26. He far outranks me on ability, and during the 3 seasons I missed out on since I started skiing (2 due to pregnancy, 1 due to a newborn) he's done A LOT of skiing without me. Even this winter, though I'm back in the sport, he skis more than I do and usually without me. It's hard to find people to watch a baby and toddler so we take turns instead. Out of my 14 days this season, I think 2 were with him. (He probably has somewhere around 30-40 days this season, in contrast.) And even when I get out there with him, we usually diverge and remeet where the trails merge, as he's working on bump skiing and I'm working on just staying up and getting down in one piece.

I've just learned that I have to be patient and understanding. Getting upset doesn't change anything. It's a little lonely at times, but there are far worse things he could be doing with his time. And eventually, we'll all be able to ski together.

 

[atlantiqueen]

I totally get this. DH has been skiing for more years than I've been alive and loves to hit the trees and the steeps. I'm not there. I've only been skiing since last March and I'm nowhere near his ability. He waits for me but I can tell when he is just itching to get out with his brother and buddies and really rip it up so I tell him to get lost.

Frankly, I'm happier skiing by myself the first 5 or 6 runs of the day so we usually don't ski together until after lunch.

The good part about this is that he tires more easily than I do (9 years older, tele-skiing and has eaten more) so the afternoon runs are when we are more evenly matched. In fact, I usually end up skiing 3 or 4 more runs than he does!

 

[MaryLou]

I've been blessed...

My DH started skiing when he was 3.5yo, I was 5yo. We met when I was a freshman in college, but never skied together until we graduated - I skied maybe twice all of college. The first time we ever skied together was awesome. I was stuck in a rut - skied groomers and wanted to look good, but couldn't handle anything beyond that. So he made me step up my game - no going in early b/c of heavy spring slush...etc. Within a year or two we were 100% compatible. Before kids we skied so much together all winter long. Now we get 1-2 ski days/year to ski together, and those days are incredible. We both love bumps, woods, speed, etc... I'm so fortunate. It's one reason we have a ski home...it's such a shared talent and skill between us, and we're raising our kids to keep up with us (one is there so far).

We started a weekly NASTAR team this winter, I'm usually faster than DH on straights/tucks (and weigh more), so I was joking he'd have to eat my dust lol... Well...he creamed me in the beginning, and then started refining his GS technique...and gave me tips...and I started working on my form. By the last week I had achieved gold and was only 2.5 seconds behind him - yahooo!!!!!! Definitely helps to have someone to chase.

I will say being 100% compatible with DH is amazing... it makes a ski day so enjoyable. Usually one is leading, but sometimes on a quiet run we'll say "go side by side?" and rip up the run going together as fast as we can...

 

[cyn]

My husband can ski anything without batting an eye. He doesn't even care if he can't see well, because his vision is already poor so he relies on his eyes less than I do.
He is also faster, which means he waits at the bottom for me.
There have been times when we've ended up on runs that scared me, and I stood at the top cursing him because he just took off and left me there. On the positive side, I have become a much better skier as a result, but this can also make me really angry!
I consider myself a good skier, but I will never be as good as he is. That's fine, as long as I don't find myself in situations that I can't handle.
So I guess I end up making my own decisions and trusting my instinct regarding how far I can push myself. Challenge is one thing, but injury is another.

 

[altagirl]

Normally my husband and I are pretty equal. I've been skiing longer but I'm more injury prone. This winter my knee hurt more than usual leading up to my latest knee surgery and I just wasn't as motivated as I normally am. Not to mention I had such an amazing bike season right through November, that's all I've thought about all winter on all but the best powder days.

So we're in that stage where I'm planning bike trips and I just get horrified looks when I ask if he might want to go along. Our friends have been emailing him about an easter weekend trip and he refused to even read the emails until I bugged him about it because "It's SKI SEASON" and we're not supposed to consider doing anything else.

 

[Gloria]

My husband actually was a tele skier then learned alpine and then snowboard. He never spent much time on alpine skis, so when he is I am faster. We are pretty speed matched when he is on teles, although his technique is impeccible. But when he is snowboarding in heavy crud and I am on skis instead of a snowboard, let the fun began. There is just no way to cut through the crud fast enough to keep up with him, plus snowboarding is so much easier he just doesn't get tired or stop. I personally hate skiing with the feeling of someone waiting for me, so after about 2 runs, I just tell him to keep going, I'll see him at the end of the day. Otherwise I get the what happened, did you fall or something when I get to the lift. Which makes me want to rip his head off and tell him snowboarding is for people who can't ski. Kidding, except I do want to rip his head off.

 

[skigrl27]

My BF is an amazing skier. Early in the season, I was pretty intimidated at his skill level compared to my ability. But...after 53 days on the snow this season, I'm starting to notice some things.

I make him let me lead some days. Usually he's in front because he's heavier & faster. But now I ski down, turn & look at his technique from below. You know something??? We're about equal now!! I can actually see some things in his technique that ain't so pretty. I never say anything, of course. But after skiing last Saturday he even said..."man I was ready to take a break & I was watching you & you just kept going" Nice to hear the boy struggling to keep up for a change!!

Typically, we are right on pace with each other. Nothing he skis down that I won't. He does tend to huck bigger cliffs than I do, but I just need to boost up my comfort level when my skis leave the snow. I'll get there for sure. Maybe someday even pass the little bugger out.:D

 

[Christy]

My husband is a much better skier than I am--I only learned last year. He'll ski with me to warm up and at the end up the day when he's tired and doesn't want to do the blacks, but in between we generally ski on our own then meet for lunch. It works out great--I don't need someone to ski with me at all times, and he can go off and have fun while I'm practicing whatever I need to practice. Skiing alone to me seems kind of like going to the movies alone--sure it's fun to go with someone, but you don't need someone there to enjoy the movie.

 

[geargrrl]

Dh learned in the alps as a child, I learned in my twenties. We had many days early one where "no friends..." was the norm and we'd ski together after lunch.

Nowadays, he teles, I alpine and it's a perfect match.

 

[mtnbikegirl]

Hubby never learned to ski...he's gone over to the dark side and riding the board. He'll no doubt be surpassing me soon. I can hardly keep up and he's only been on the board 3 days.

 

[snowbunny1976]

I went on a date fairly recently with a gentleman that was far more skilled on the slopes than I. Additionally, it was my first time out this season, and I always need some time to warm up my first few days out - it takes me a while to get my ski-legs back Anyway, I felt really bad because it was my first time out in the season, AND my first time at this mountain - so I was overly-cautious going down uncharted territory, and I know he was ready to tackle the tough stuff. I just had to shoo him off to what he wanted to do, and do the runs I was comfortable with on my own. It kinda sucked though, being on a date and having to spend it by myself... but I didn't want to hold him back, and I wanted to work on getting my technique back. In the end I enjoyed it, not being pressured to do runs I wasn't quite ready for, but I'm not sure he was happy doing the black diamonds by himself... oh well...