Speed/acceleration confidence issues

[Archk1234]

Hi
i am a 42 y/o female, and I took my second lesson today (along with my husband & 5 y/o son)

it was pretty frustrating as I could not go down the bunny hill even once in last 2 days.

I get so scared as soon as I start going fast with increased speed.. that I just choose to fall.

the instructor did not seem to offer any advice or anything

My husband & son seem to have made so much progress in just 2 sessions.. I am now beginning to think if I can ever Learn to ski

i ended up walking down the bunny Hill yesterday & today as i was tired of falling every 2 seconds.

Any tips?
Are there people who just can not learn to ski? ‍

 

[shadoj]

Welcome!

Glad you found us here, because you can *definitely* learn to ski, and this wonderful group of women will gladly support you, whatever your pace! You're not alone in being an adult learner, nor getting freaked out at suddenly letting gravity take control on the snow.

Don't worry about how fast your family is picking things up (note: 5 year olds seem to have a center of gravity ~1ft off the ground, and very few bones or ligaments, haha). It's not a race! Not yet!

Won't overwhelm you with tips until later; just wanted to say hi and offer encouragement!

 

[Knitjenious]

A big welcoming ski diva hug to you. Learning to ski is hard! And it is very normal to feel scared, especially at the very start.

I am far from anything resembling an expert. But as someone who started at 38 and also has a kid, maybe a lesson without your child and spouse would better set you up for success. I know that even in what is now my 5th year of skiing, skiing with my daughter always means that 1/2 my focus is on her the whole time. (And some days fear STILL gets the best of me.)

You will find lots of kind encouragement here, and others will have better actual ski advice than I can give, too! Wishing you grace and patience with yourself as you tackle this challenging new hobby.

 

[Jilly]

You can do this. Maybe it's time to get away from the males in your family and do your own thing and way. Grab a lesson without them.

And welcome to our world!!

 

[Iwannaski]

WELCOME!!! You’re in the right place, and you can learn.
I’m in my late 40s and basically had to re-learn to ski in 2021. You can do this. All of the advice above is great. I’ll share some considers from my own experience…

Can you do any skating? Ice? Inline? Do you bike? If yes, then yes, you can learn to ski. You have balance, you have coordination.

Tell us more about your instructor? Male? Female? Experienced? New? Maybe not a good fit… maybe you can talk to the ski school and find someone who has been successful working with women - specifically moms - learning.

As moms, I think we’re SO wired to avoid danger - ESPECIALLY WHEN OUR KIDS ARE THERE! Learning without your spawn will be easier. They’re distracting and very fearless.

IF you want to learn, may I suggest that you get a seasonal rental of better fitting equipment from your local ski shop? I would bet that if you did a daily rental that by the time you got tickets, wrestled your child into gear, hauled to the lesson spot, you were EXHAUSTED. Focus on you. If your husband and child are vibing, let them stay together while you work on YOUR fun.

Do you know what about going fast makes you scared?

 

[TNtoTaos]

Agree with all of the above comments, and especially about having a solo lesson, or a group with other women beginners. There's a big difference between teaching kids vs adult women and adult men, as I'm sure the many ski instructors in this forum will attest to. And that's why we have this website -- we're different, and it's good to recognize that.
Where are you all skiing, may I ask? PS - I didn't start skiing until age 45 (69 now); and see this post: https://www.theskidiva.com/forums/index.php?threads/learning-to-ski-in-mid-40s.27299/

 

[Mudgirl630]

Hi.

An important question.

Do you want to learn to be a good skier or are you trying to go along with your husband and your son because they enjoy it?

 

[snoWYmonkey]

So many questions. But first, yes, you can learn to ski. Your goals may have many intermediary steps and your time frame may differ from others, but you can and hopefully will.

I love all the suggestions so far.

Solo lesson will be key! When I teach families my focus for safety reasons is often on the young child to the detriment of the adults.

Have you done any sliding around on flats with one ski on only? Can you make a stopping wedge on flats with both skis on after gaining speed just from poling yourself forward? Have you been working with or without poles? I suspect no poles would be best for you at first? How steep is your bunny slope? Pitch matters...a lot. Can you turn yet?

 

[Archk1234]

WELCOME!!! You’re in the right place, and you can learn.
I’m in my late 40s and basically had to re-learn to ski in 2021. You can do this. All of the advice above is great. I’ll share some considers from my own experience…

Can you do any skating? Ice? Inline? Do you bike? If yes, then yes, you can learn to ski. You have balance, you have coordination.

Tell us more about your instructor? Male? Female? Experienced? New? Maybe not a good fit… maybe you can talk to the ski school and find someone who has been successful working with women - specifically moms - learning.

As moms, I think we’re SO wired to avoid danger - ESPECIALLY WHEN OUR KIDS ARE THERE! Learning without your spawn will be easier. They’re distracting and very fearless.

IF you want to learn, may I suggest that you get a seasonal rental of better fitting equipment from your local ski shop? I would bet that if you did a daily rental that by the time you got tickets, wrestled your child into gear, hauled to the lesson spot, you were EXHAUSTED. Focus on you. If your husband and child are vibing, let them stay together while you work on YOUR fun.

Do you know what about going fast makes you scared?

I don’t skate.. but do bike.
I got a young 16 y/o female instructor both times. She was lovely but looked overwhelmed at my balance issues lol

I Honestkydon’t know what specifically about speed scares me..

i appreciate everyone’s advice & have signed up for 1:1 lessons for myself coming weekend. will keep you posted

 

[Archk1234]

Agree with all of the above comments, and especially about having a solo lesson, or a group with other women beginners. There's a big difference between teaching kids vs adult women and adult men, as I'm sure the many ski instructors in this forum will attest to. And that's why we have this website -- we're different, and it's good to recognize that.
Where are you all skiing, may I ask? PS - I didn't start skiing until age 45 (69 now); and see this post: https://www.theskidiva.com/forums/index.php?threads/learning-to-ski-in-mid-40s.27299/

I live in upstate NY. I started at the Four seasons ski school. We do have bigger ski resorts close to our house.. but this is the smaller one & I heard it’s good to start here…

 

[Archk1234]

Hi.

An important question.

Do you want to learn to be a good skier or are you trying to go along with your husband and your son because they enjoy it?

We live in upstate NY, and there isn’t much else to do over winter. So we thought it will be a good thing to learn and do as a family

 

[Archk1234]

So many questions. But first, yes, you can learn to ski. Your goals may have many intermediary steps and your time frame may differ from others, but you can and hopefully will.

I love all the suggestions so far.

Solo lesson will be key! When I teach families my focus for safety reasons is often on the young child to the detriment of the adults.

Have you done any sliding around on flats with one ski on only? Can you make a stopping wedge on flats with both skis on after gaining speed just from poling yourself forward? Have you been working with or without poles? I suspect no poles would be best for you at first? How steep is your bunny slope? Pitch matters...a lot. Can you turn yet?

Hi
I will certainly try the things you mentioned this Weekend. Thank you It is a very small bunny slope..and I cannot turn yet. I can barely stand on the skis without falling every 2 minutes lol

 

[Archk1234]

Thank you everyone for taking out time to reply. I
So appreciate your kind words. And plan to try again this weekend,
Have signed up for solo lessons.
Asked for a instructor who has experience teaching adults.
Plan to look straight ahead rather than down in order to not get super scared when it speeds up..
Thanks again

 

[Iwannaski]

Try a seasonal rental, I’m willing to wager money that your rental boots are WAY too big for your feet and are contributing to your description of your standing falls

 

[Archk1234]

Try a seasonal rental, I’m willing to wager money that your rental boots are WAY too big for your feet and are contributing to your description of your standing falls

I will certainly do that!!
Thank you

 

[jumperlass]

We live in upstate NY, and there isn’t much else to do over winter. So we thought it will be a good thing to learn and do as a family

We must live near each other! My family started on that path for a similar reason several years ago. I'm no instructor--just a middling intermediate skier--but I also have heard that 4 Seasons is a good place to start--though I think they might be more kid-oriented? I don't know. I didn't learn there. It's a super economical way to try skiing out, if their group lessons work for you. If I'd known about it, I almost definitely would've opted for them when my kids were newbies. I live just far enough south of Syracuse that we'd already been skiing for a year or two before I even heard of them, though.

 

[jumperlass]

If it turns out that Four Seasons isn't the place for you to learn--if they mostly have teenaged instructors, if they mostly work with kids, whatever--come back and post again. There are so many instructors here who could probably give you a hint of where might suit you better! If you want to learn to ski, you can. I'm no instructor, but I've skied at a few hills south of Syracuse (Song, Lab, Greek Peak) and either taken lessons or seen my kids'/nieces' lessons at these places. I'm happy to share what I know if it would be useful to you at some point. I think Snow Ridge (north of Syracuse) also has a really well supported ski school, but I've never been there.

 

[Christy]

I wouldn't expect anyone to be comfortable with any speed or feel very confident after 2 lessons. I think your feelings are very normal. Okay, your husband and son...testosterone and youth, what can I say. Sorry you had a not-encouraging instructor--I do think sometimes/often the beginners' teachers are pretty poor. My friend's teenager sons teach beginners and they have nothing to qualify them.

Anyway, I'd just go at your own pace, don't worry about speed, just see if you can enjoy yourself. I agree that you should make sure your boots fit okay--it's hard with rental boots but do make sure you aren't swimming in them. They should feel very snug.

I doubt there are people that can't learn to ski at some level. I'm sure there are those who decide it's not worth the time/money/effort to them. Nothing wrong with that. If it turns out you don't like downhill skiing, you could try classic-style (as opposed to skate) x-country skiing.

 

[Mudgirl630]

Thank you everyone for taking out time to reply. I
So appreciate your kind words. And plan to try again this weekend,
Have signed up for solo lessons.
Asked for a instructor who has experience teaching adults.
Plan to look straight ahead rather than down in order to not get super scared when it speeds up..
Thanks again

I was going to suggest getting a private lesson. Then, less pressure.

Just try to relax. I know it is easier said than done. I have a pretty bad fear of height. People who does not have that, they can say whatever they want, but they do not know what it is like, clueless. I still have to fight it, but my love of skiing does overwhelm it most of the time.

If not still not any better and not fun after your provate lesson, regardless of nothing much else to do, try doing something else.
Snow shoeing might be fun also. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT.
If you are that stressed and not having fun at all, there is no point.
Of course, people can say whatever to encourage you, but this is your decision. No one else's.

Skiing should be funshould not be cause of any stress. Everyone is different.

Sending you a hug.

 

[Mudgirl630]

I was going to suggest getting a private lesson. Then, less pressure.

Just try to relax. I know it is easier said than done. I have a pretty bad fear of height. People who does not have that, they can say whatever they want, but they do not know what it is like, clueless. I still have to fight it, but my love of skiing does overwhelm it most of the time.

If not still not any better and not fun after your provate lesson, regardless of nothing much else to do, try doing something else.
Snow shoeing might be fun also. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT.
If you are that stressed and not having fun at all, there is no point.
Of course, people can say whatever to encourage you, but this is your decision. No one else's.

Skiing should be funshould not be cause of any stress. Everyone is different.

Sending you a hug.

Sorry for the typos.... Ugh.