I totally get it! Im looking for someone like myself that we can buddy up and encourage one another. "Beginners club" would be a great way to meet ppl that deal with our ski limitations....which doesn't really fit with skiing, does it?
I really want to be able to ski, I've taken half a dozen lessons but I still can't even ski over the steepest parts of the bunny slopes at Loveland Valley. I tried pushing myself further today, and got myself going pretty fast, so I decided I'd try just pointing myself down one of the steeper slopes since I'd been doing pretty well using my snowplow turns on the moderately steep slopes. I ended up stuck parallel to the hill, completely unable to even make myself turn a little to get the speed up to start making turns again. I had to sideslip down to a less steep part to get going again. I don't think the speed itself is the problem - on less steep sections I can zip around fairly quickly.
I don't know exactly where this fear is coming from. I don't know if it's because I'm plus size and so I'm worried gravity will drag me down the mountain faster than other people, or if it's because I'm late 30s and am too old to try to learn this, or if I don't trust my muscles to do what they're supposed to, or if I just need to practice more (which is what I was told after my last two lessons). I see other people zipping down the steeper parts of the ski school and it's gone from being encouraging that it can be done to a serious self-esteem issue - if that four-year-old can do it, why can't I?