Skiing Alone vs. Skiing in Groups

[Toucan]

I'm curious about how others feel about skiing with groups of people versus skiing alone. I'm a high-level intermediate and am easily intimidated when skiing with groups of people. Inevitably, most of the others are much better--or at least much gutsier--skiers, and I really struggle to keep up with them or end up trying to excuse myself so I can ski terrain on which I'm more comfy.

I've taken lots of group lessons and am fine there...it's just when my husband gets a gang together, I cringe at having to ski with them. He tells me no one minds waiting for me, but trust me, it's such a downer to always be the last one down or else having to find an easier run while the others rip and roar.

Has anyone else had this experience? Or am I just suffering from "ski group anxiety?" It's getting to the point where I actually think about avoiding skiing just so I won't have to deal with this, and that's REALLY a drag because I used to love skiing. Anything thoughts? Help?

 

[sibhusky]

Most of the time I ski alone. Last year I seemed to meet up with people more. This year, because of my timidity, those same people are avoiding me. It's gotten disheartening, as I feel I am starting to return to my normal level. BUT, I hate to ski in groups over about 4 people. I call it "gang skiing" and to me it just means that you are guaranteeing skiing with too many people around you for comfort. My favorite way to ski is just with one or two other people who like to ski the WHOLE mountain, not just the steeps or just the trees, or just the groomers.

I understand your anxiety about always being the last one down. I think you need to find (somehow) a slightly slower bunch of people to ski with. You don't want to always feel you are holding people up or that you have to go TOO far over your speed limit to keep up.

 

[Calgal]

I would actually like to ski with some people who are better and faster than me. I do ski by myself a lot, and have done so since getting back into this sport about 4 yrs ago. I have nothing to measure my ability by, and feel like I am hitting a "rut" with any kind of progress.
Jump out of your comfort zone and go skiing with that gang of people your husband rounds up !! You'll find that it won't be long before you get faster and more skilled.
Don't be so concerned about what the others might think. Be selfish and use it as an opportunity to get better at this awesome sport you really love.

 

[geargrrl]

I agree with the concept of the gang, it doesn't work for me either. 4 is max in a group for me.
For OP, it sounds like you need to find a ski buddy about your level, a little bit better or a little bit slower. Tell the gang you'll meet them for lunch.

gg

 

[abc]

If you're happy with your own speed, make them wait! ;-)

I'm serious. Don't apologize. Just say "Hi, where are we going next?" They'll get used to you being a little slower but are still an integral part of the group. Someone has to be last anyway. That is, provided you're not so slow they get cold waiting for you... ;-)

Your second option, in parallel with the first, is to improve. You say you have to find easier runs while they want to rip and roar. I gather there're still lots of terrains you're not comfortable skiing. That's a motivation to take more lessons and "get there". But get there at your own speed, though. It'll take time. So make them wait.

 

[MaineSkiLady]

Hi, Toucan, most of us really do get what you're saying. Maybe you're a little more self-conscious than you need to be? Or maybe a good balance could be struck by spending some of your time with the group (how many are we talking about here?) and then breaking off on your own for some "solitude." You can catch your breath, recharge your batteries, take a few easy cruisers, etc.

I ski at least half my ski days solo (as do many others here), and I have a great time. I chat with folks on the lift, sometimes even take a few runs with some. I have the supreme luxury of weekday skiing, when crowds are light---and I love it.

But many years ago, if I wanted to ski with DH, I had to hustle to keep up with him and fellow ski instructors on their few free runs during the day, and I do know the feeling, for sure! I really learned how to get moving, though.

Please don't despair or - worse yet - give it up because you feel so self-conscious. Do a few runs, break away for an hour and meet up with the group again. There's a middle ground here.

 

[ski diva]

I enjoy skiing with other people -- particularly people who are better than me. I find it pushes me to do stuff I ordinarily wouldn't do. Plus I learn best by copying. So if I see someone who skis much better than I do, I try to imitate their style. I think it improves my skiing.

 

[MaineSkiLady]

I enjoy skiing with other people -- particularly people who are better than me. I find it pushes me to do stuff I ordinarily wouldn't do. Plus I learn best by copying. So if I see someone who skis much better than I do, I try to imitate their style. I think it improves my skiing.

Exactly - the mimic thing. Learning by imitation. In fact, when I get into something way gnarly, DH often leads the way. I don't worry about what it is or where it is - I just stay a turn behind him and do (or at least TRY to do) what he's doing: same pole plant location, same turn radius, etc. This works best for the self-conscious or less confident skier only if the leader is willing to pace it slower, though.

 

[Robyn]

I concure with SkiDiva, in fact that's why I found Friday skiing with Divas and Bears to be so exhilarating. Some were better than me, some were not and it gave me a chance to challenge myself.

 

[num]

Personally, I always ski alone and quite enjoy it. I often ride up with a friend working in the lodge, and hang out when I take breaks for lunch etc. My situation's a bit different though.

From what you've said so far, I'd recommend a combination of skiing alone and with your group. Whatever you do, don't put yourself in a spot you're not comfortable in. If you want to ski alone, ski alone. Meet up with them for lunch and snacks if you'd like, and see if there's a lift you can ride up together and go down separate runs. Maybe you can take some lessons when you're separated, or just ski on your own doing whatever you please. You could combine these 'separate skiing with meetups' days with 'ski with the group' days, so you can push yourself and follow their examples sometimes and practice and chill on your own other times.

If you feel like skiing with the group but are worried about them not wanting to wait, just tell em to. I'm sure someone wouldn't mind going a slower pace or waiting for you. Do whatever makes you the most comfortable, and when you feel like you need a push it looks like you know where to get one

 

[SnowDancer]

Have to say I'm pretty much in agreement with Toucan.

I consider myself a solid intermediate skier. Occasionally we ski with friends, and it's usually no more than 2-4 other folks but... either they go first and wait for me or, even if I don't push off last, they zoom by on the slope and I'm still the last one down the hill.

When I try to keep up, I often feel like I'm skiing way too fast and/or out of control (and I'm still last). When I do push myself to leave my comfort zone and try an "easy" black, it sometimes feels more like survival or relief rather than enjoyment.

Our friends don't seem to mind; they've all been supportive and no one has ever made a negative comment but, every time I ski up to the group and see I'm last to arrive, it bothers me (especially when I thought/felt I skied much faster than I had before).

All of this definitely takes a bite out of the fun factor so, as a result, I find I too can be reluctant to meet and ski with others.

So, if there's a Diva Day @ Okemo on 02/25 and I can get there - who's joining me in the "terminal intermediate/blue groomers/just cruising" group?:p

 

[num]

Hey Toucan, just saw that you're in the midwest. Where do you ski?

 

[Toucan]

Wow, I'm overwhelmed by the responses! Thank you!! Num, unfortunately I only ski when we travel out west. I used to live in ski country but had to leave for many reasons so I don't ski nearly as often as I'd like to to keep my skills up (thus adding to my 'gang anxiety!). My work doesn't allow me to even ski weekends at the moment, but maybe when things calm down I can venture out again.

I agree on more lessons--I actually like lessons and even though they're expensive, it's good to ski with a group at your own level as well as improve a little bit too. I like learning and improving especially since I've only skied a few years (I'm a 'late bloomer' I guess).

The hard part about skiing alone is that the 'gang' often skis different mountains so it's hard to know where I can go safely (darn those trail maps for being print in the tiniest font possible!!). I've often thought about signing up for those mountain tours except I'm worried they'll go over terrain that's WAY beyond my comfort zone--anyone have any experience with those?

Thanks again, all--I appreciate the ideas, empathy, and support.

 

[dvmvail]

Toucan, as far as the mountain tours go, I would call the mountain and find out how they group the tours. Here they offer a women's only tour of the mt. but it clearly states for "intermediate/advanced"

I like your idea of lessons. Sometimes one day of lessons might be enough to give you the lay of the land. At our mountain, private lessons are only $5 more an hour than the group. yesterday I took a private which continued to help me with my skills (newbie to the sport after quitting 15 years ago for never being able to keep up ) but he also assesed my abilities and took me on some blues...which opened up a whole new area for me to ski. Point being, private lessons are great and I would have never thought they could have been affordable. (if you are sking at big resorts out west this won't be the case...but just wanted to throw that out there)

My kids and husband are fantastic skiers, not afraid to ski anything, amazing technique ect....and clearly I am not (yet anyway!) My point is, when we go to ski the first couple runs are at "mommy's" ability and then the 3 of them can cruise. I ski by myself at that point, tackling the harder stuff or working on my skills. It's a good compromise for us. This might work with some of your group....they can do a few "warm ups" with you and then hit the steeper stuff.

 

[SkiNurse]

I ski more than 50% of the time by myself. That is d/t work schedules, families obligations, blah, blah, blah.

I do enjoy skiing more though, when a friend to three friends are involved. I don't like to ski with a large group of people (mixed friends). It just makes it hard to keep track of everyone and to make sure that no one is left behind. And, I'm one of those people that want to make sure everyone is safe and ok. Then, I'm not having fun, I'm worried about other people. Like SkiDiva, I enjoy skiing with people that are as good or better than me. Pushes me to a different limit. I don't push myself when I'm skiing alone.

I have not taken any lessons though, but assuming that I'mpaying for a group lessons and someone else is responsible for the group, than I wouldn't have an issue.

 

[mollmeister]

I agree with the concept of the gang, it doesn't work for me either. 4 is max in a group for me.
For OP, it sounds like you need to find a ski buddy about your level, a little bit better or a little bit slower. Tell the gang you'll meet them for lunch.

gg

This sounds like a good plan to me.

Personally, I like to ski with people better than me. MUCH better than me. I usually start the day by telling them that I won't ski anything with mandatory air taller than I am, and that I don't love really tight trees, but will ski anything else. That sets expectations pretty well, and generally they will pick runs with an opt-in or opt-out option if we get into those situations.

Often I surprise myself and opt into things.

But I am with you on the big gangs. I really dislike skiing with any more than 3-4 people. We have done a few *ski with people my husband knows from work* days. All of them are good skiers, so that's not an issue, but you just waste so much time waiting on people and calling to meet up and organizing and discussing that it can get to be a drag.

On *special* occasions, like a ski house full of old friends in from out of town, a big group can be fun. . . but otherwise. . .:(

 

[skigrl27]

I'd say I ski alone & with others equally and I ski quite a bit. I find that when I ski with my "weekend crew" - we're all pretty darn good. My boyfriend is an amazing skier & he really encourages me & pushes me to try harder, go faster, ski more aggressively. I half do it because I want to keep up and get better - but there's also the "vanity factor" - I want to look good in front of my man! Sounds foolish...but hey I'm being honest here. It feels awesome when I do great & he cheers me on too. Makes me wanna go even harder next time & totally boosts confidence...which is half the battle sometimes.

We typically ski our Saturdays with a total group of 4. Then we chill on Sundays just with each other. I like our Sundays. During the week, I'm by myself...but I honestly find myself holding back a bit more & not pushing as hard as I would if he was there. Although, I do enjoy the "me time" quite a bit. It's so peaceful. It's like therapy for the soul.

 

[BackOnTrack]

i'm definitely of the 'mix it up' frame of mind. my sweetie is a really good snowboarder and his friends are a mix of skiers and boarders who are all considerably "better" than i am (i'm also from the school of thought that says that the best skier on the mountain is the one having the most fun ).
sometimes we wind up skiing in a group all day, but when we don't the formula we've come up with is to split up first thing in the morning so the powder hounds can get the freshie and i can warm up before tackling anything too crazy. before we split we arrange the rendezvous, so we don't have to mess with radios or phones, and then when we meet up we see who wants to do what. if we're in an area where numerous grades of terrain spill down to the same lift then it's even easier, but even when we're not it seems to work out well.
i quite like skiing on my own (very good for the soul indeed) and sometimes i find that when i'm alone i focus more on my skiing as i'm not preoccupied with who went where or meeting up at the bottom of a run. i also learn a lot from others when i ski with a group. either way, i'm spending less time on groomers and more time on the back side of the mountain but at the same time i still have to be a bit cautious- i'm just back on the mountains after >10 years away (and being told that i'd never ski again, among other things) so i know full well that i have no business trying to do a day filled entirely with powder, bumps, and trees! i'll go hard for a run then take it easy, hit the back for some powder, then take a groomer, then some bumps, then a groomer.... you get the idea.
i find that my guy really digs it when i say 'have fun with the boys baby, catch you at lunch' - it works for all concerned. when we do runs together we get to show off to each other, when we don't we both have a blast doing our own thing. stress = 0, fun = big, which is about where i figure they oughta be.

 

[Simone29]

I've done the group skiing but i mostly couple ski, my bf is a new boarder and so most of the time i'm just standing around waiting for him.

I'm usually right in the middle of the pack with all our friends, but last year i used to be dead last all the time. It sucked it made me very anxious and while i pushed myself, i scared myself silly trying to do glades and black bowls as a first year beginner.

Now i go at my own pace, and I go down blue trails, if someone wants to go down trails i can't do, i don't follow them.

We all keep walkie talkies on us and usually rendezvous at a lift somewhere at the bottom.

 

[sibhusky]

I've often thought about signing up for those mountain tours except I'm worried they'll go over terrain that's WAY beyond my comfort zone--anyone have any experience with those?

Thanks again, all--I appreciate the ideas, empathy, and support.

At least here at Big Mountain, they sort of break up the groups into ability levels and the last I heard, even the "experts" aren't dragged off the groomers due to some conflict with the ski school or liability issues (depends on who is doing the telling, but they used to have some groups go on some more "interesting" terrain.)