Roaming Solo as a Woman

[RachelV]

... He said he will just skip things if he doesn't have anyone to go with. Its interesting to think that guys have similar issues and won't travel solo. For him its not about safety but about the social stigma. It felt good to realize I'm more independent than he is despite our gender difference.

Doing things alone isn't sad, not doing things you want to do just because you can't find someone to go with with is sad. I haven't done a ton of solo traveling (I guess I went on my heli trip alone, but that seems different since it's so structured), but I go to local events and out to dinner and whatnot alone on a regular basis. Rachel time is some of my favorite time.

 

[pinto]

Doing things alone isn't sad, not doing things you want to do just because you can't find someone to go with with is sad. I haven't done a ton of solo traveling (I guess I went on my heli trip alone, but that seems different since it's so structured), but I go to local events and out to dinner and whatnot alone on a regular basis. Rachel time is some of my favorite time.

I hear you on that. I first went to a movie by myself in college, and discovered that it was awesome! I eat out alone alllll the time, and have done a few short trips alone. But of course I've been married almost 25 years, and have kids, so there isn't that much opportunity to do anything alone. (Maybe that's why it's so great when I do...)

I have struggled with trying to get my mother to do (simple) things alone, but old habits die hard. She gets frustrated because my dad is so busy and she waits around for him. I never wanted to be that way.

 

[bounceswoosh]

What's funny is, the only time I felt even a little unsafe was when he engaged with a crazy vagrant. I had picked up right away that the guy was a bit off mentally and had my head down just walking past him only to hear my brother getting in a little verbal altercation with him. He hadn't picked upon any of the cues I had and didn't realize this guy was best ignored.

This reminds me of a time in college, walking a few miles to the Denny's with a group of both men and women (thinks back to ages ... nope, boys and girls!). The boys were comfortable bantering with someone who was clearly a bit mentally off. The girls were all extremely uncomfortable about this development.

It sucks that women are so hyper aware of safety, but there are times when I think men should be a little more cautious, themselves. Just because you don't have a vagina doesn't mean you can't be hurt.

 

[VickiK]

Racheltime sounds suspiciously like Vickitime. Usually a good time is had by all.

 

[Skier31]

I call it putting myself in timeout.

 

[Robyn]

Really late to the party here but I do quite a bit solo. I used to hold back waiting for people to do things with but I realized that I was missing out on fun stuff so I just go. Camping is probably the biggest one that surprises people. I've learned where I'm more and less comfortable camping alone and I take certain precautions but overall it's fine.

What I'm finding really interesting right now is that I'm doing a couple of trips over the next few weeks which will be a combo of solo and not-solo travel and work and personal. The first is a ski trip to Chile with a friend which I'm totally excited about but also totally stressed about dealing with the logistics of showing someone else around a city/country that I lived in many years ago. After that I travel for work to England which involves meeting up with people there but I'm on my own to. Then I'm solo heading to Montpelier France where I'm then meeting up with my dad and stepmom for a day and a half before solo heading to Toulouse via Narbonne to fly home.

 

[heather matthews]

I'm travelling to France again next year(Jan/Feb'18) on my own but meeting up with friends for part of the time and I'm quite excited and will probably..no definitely ski the run on my avatar photo if the snow is even half good.It's still challenging and scary at times to be a lone,middle aged woman in a resort full of younger,often male skiers/riders but in the end I always love it and have a great time.Wish I could go ski in the states again next year as well but not enough leave and definitely not enough funds!!

 

[Christy]

I thought of this conversation as I read the NY Times features on the 5 writers that have done the Frugal Traveler column for the paper. 3 were women and I loved what a couple had to say about women traveling solo.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/27/travel/frugal-traveler-roundtable-budget-tips.html

DM: I hate the pigeonhole of “solo female traveler.” When I was writing the column I made a point of ignoring that trope as much as possible. I tried to write with strength from a woman’s point of view, and to make that voice the default one. My position is and was: Women travel alone, intrepidly, have for centuries, it’s normal, get over it, next!

Now that I’m in my early 60s I find that age has much more impact on how I experience travel than gender.

SK: Lucas, I had the same comments quite regularly, and actually did a piece on it, featuring Daisann and a few other veteran travelers from the other side of the (fuzzy) gender divide. Here was my takeaway: Of course there are differences in how men and women experience travel, and how they are treated, just as there are differences for L.G.B.T. versus straight travelers, travelers of different races and religions. But what I learned from those interviews was that there are far more differences among individual travelers regardless of gender than between male and female travelers as a whole. After doing that article, when a female reader would write to me and say something like “as a woman, I wouldn’t take the risk you did,” all I could think of was: plenty of men wouldn’t either.

 

[racetiger]

I didnt read the whole 105 replies but my reply is Ive done alot of traveling and skiing alone. Ive worked in male dominant fields too. I havent had any strange comments about that that i recall. It is funny when people look at you and then you surprise them by skiing better than they thought.

 

[SallyCat]

I've had a fun time moving to a small Vermont town alone at age 50. My work schedule is flexible, so I've been volunteering a lot with the local nonprofit mountain while I figure out what's next, career-wise. I get a lot of questions like "Soooo, what do you...do?" And one fellow asked me point blank if I moved up here on account of a divorce or bad breakup. It's not a gendered thing for sure; it's just funny when your situation is a little complicated, watching people sort of try to figure you out.

 

[socalgal]

I just saw this thread and loved reading through all the replies. In my college days, I have traveled solo to New Zealand, where I stayed with a host family and then ventured across the country as I saw fit. I also flew solo to Europe in order to meet up with some friends and backpack around. I had a day or two by myself waiting for their flights to come in. Some days we would split up for the day and do our own thing. Both experiences have indelibly marked me positively.

 

[KathrynC]

I haven't read all of this thread, but I am a frequent solo wanderer. I frequently hike/ski/cycle on my own in Scotland - I just came back a multiday solo backpacking/wild camping trip on Skye this weekend. My ski holiday last winter was a week solo in La Plagne. This autumn I am travelling to Kuala Lumpur for work and have a week to spend on my own in Borneo afterwards. Bliss!

I often get asked if it isn't scary. Sometimes, of course it can be. Like this weekend when I discovered my compass had reversed polarity in less than 10m visibility. But it is also hugely empowering, and to be frank, walking through the clubbing district in Glasgow on a Friday night scares me more than being in the great outdoors alone.

 

[Rainbow Jenny]

I just took a 2 week solo road trip to PNW, primarily to ride the 200 mile Seattle to Portland over 2 days. Very little planning took place more than a week in advance except for the plans to stay a few nights staying with 2 sets of friends.

North Cascades National Park had been on my radar for a number of years and I regret not having visited while living in Seattle. I finally made up for lost time and would highly recommended North Cascade Institute’s Bass Camp for a few nights. The park is 98% wilderness but this “campus” is really special, situated next to Diablo Lake which is fed by 50+ glaciers in North Cascades National Recreation Area, it’s not not technically within the NP because of nearby hydroelectric dams.



The trip also included Lava Beds NM, Crater Lake and camping Lassen Volcanic NPs. Sure glad I didn’t sit around moping about how I cannot find anyone to travel with me.

 

[alison wong]

primarily to ride the 200 mile Seattle to Portland over 2 days.

200 miles in 2 days? 100 miles/day on a bike is a lot.

 

[Christy]

@Rainbow Jenny that is great! The North Cascades are amazing, and the park is so special because except for one gravel road you have to hike in. I have a job opportunity there that I hope works out that would involve backcountry work.

I've done a lot of work at Lava Beds during my time in the NPS, too. It's an interesting park in that they hand out flashlights and hard hats at the visitor center and let people explore the lava tubes on their own. I don't know if you went up to the Schonchin Butte Lookout but I got that on the National Register of Historic Places.

 

[DeeSki]

Wow! @Rainbow Jenny that photograph is the perfect answer to anyone who ever questions why you would travel solo. Sounds like you had a great trip.

 

[Rainbow Jenny]

200 miles in 2 days? 100 miles/day on a bike is a lot.

It’s all relative. Those who know about the STP ride asked if I was riding it in one vs. two days. So I felt pretty ordinary among the 10,000 riders. I’m not sure I would recommend this ride to anyone after riding around such amazingly beautiful Lake Tahoe with friends and @luliski couple months ago although RSVP from Seattle to Vancouver sounds intriguing.

@Rainbow Jenny that is great! The North Cascades are amazing, and the park is so special because except for one gravel road you have to hike in. I have a job opportunity there that I hope works out that would involve backcountry work.

I've done a lot of work at Lava Beds during my time in the NPS, too. It's an interesting park in that they hand out flashlights and hard hats at the visitor center and let people explore the lava tubes on their own. I don't know if you went up to the Schonchin Butte Lookout but I got that on the National Register of Historic Places.

@Christy, wow, you are living THE life and must be such a wealth of local knowledge. Best wishes with your new job opportunity!

I only knew about Lava Beds the night before road trip and thought...why not? Now, being a totally novice spelunker, it was not the brightest idea to enter Golden Dome cave solo. I had no idea inside was a figure 8 loop, and I was so completely disoriented and scared. Navigating in caves is so incomprehensible to me, how does one even begin to learn?

 

[Christy]

RSVP from Seattle to Vancouver sounds intriguing.

Everyone I know that's done RSVP says it's way better than STP. I know a ton of people that have done STP that have said, never again! No scenery and too many people.