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Return to sport, a humbling experience

HikenSki

Angel Diva
In January 2022, I tore my right ACL. Fortunately it was a clean tear and no other damage was found to other ligaments. I let swelling die down and had surgery in late March. I followed the great advice here and stuck with my PT and got cleared to ski in January, however I didn’t feel my strength was good enough so I continued my PT till mid Feb, when I booked a trip back to the mountain I sustained my injury on last year. Unfortunately, sciatic nerve issues flared up a week before my trip and I couldn’t ski due to muscle weakness. Fast forward three weeks and we were able to take advantage of the late mid-Atlantic snow and cold and headed back to the mountain. I felt strong enough to hop into my skis and give skiing a go again. I was excited, I was terrified. With hubby on parenting duty, I had to ski alone. Probably for the best - advice from hubby never goes well. :-D

The experience was nothing like what I had hoped. I was miserable, frustrated, and can see why new skiers quit. The first slide down the bunny hill was scary, but I did it. I wedged the entire way down, immobilized by fear. I kept at it trying to work on my wedge turns. Forget parallel. Forget that I was an advanced intermediate before I got injured. It was like I forgot to ski, there was no muscle memory. I skied over to another longer green run to give me more distance to work on my positioning. It was awful. Got stuck, fell, walked down the hill to the flatter part. Why did I not think to do the falling leaf? Sideslips? Who knows. I just wanted to be done. I made my way back to the lodge, did a few more slides down the bunny hill after many tears. I called it a day. Knee was sore but otherwise fine.

I chalked some of my troubles to my skis, my beloved Head Kores. They felt too wide, too plankish. I took a visit to the rental shop, grabbed some intermediate rentals with a 76mm waist. For $33, why not. I mustered up the energy and confidence to give it another go today. Conditions were great, fast. Perfect for my pre-ACL injury self, a bit scary for the gal trying to get out of wedge turns and find parallel again. I did two runs on the bunny hill. The rentals felt much better, easier to turn. Off I went to the big long green. 2mi of gentle terrain to work on my turns. It was exhausting. I was in the backseat, sitting on my heels. I couldn’t bring my skis around. I didn’t have my arms forward. Gawd I was a hot mess. Why was nothing clicking??? My legs hurt, my quads started to burn. I made it back to the lodge to take a break, loosen the boots, regroup. After about 15mins, I headed back up. I gave myself a pep talk, tried to pump myself up. I started to find a little groove. Flatter terrain I could get my inside ski to flatten and slide in by focusing on rotating my hip and getting forward. Pole planting helped too. I just felt so stiff, so scared of falling, scared of going too fast. “Why can’t I get parallel? What is wrong with me? Why can I not ski anymore???” were repeated voices in my head. I made it back to the lodge. Stuck in the wedge on anything that wasn’t almost flat. I was done. Muscles tired, knee sore. Too frustrated. Goodbye 2023 season.

I’m looking forward to the warmer weather and continuing my fitness, getting my legs and knee stronger by running and cycling. We bought season passes for next year. I’ll be back to try my hand again at this sport that I loved. I’ve spent wayyy too much on gear to give up. To go from a confident skier to a noobie is beyond frustrating. Kudos to those adults out there that try this sport at 40. Lessons are definitely on the agenda for next season. Fortunately, a friend of mine will be instructing here next year. I’ll be hitting her up for lessons. Hopefully we have a better season here in the mid-Atlantic!
 

geargrrl

Angel Diva
I suggest finding a "functional fitness" program that will hit strength, mobility, plyometrics, movement on all planes to attend. Did you have any kind of fitness program after you were released from PT? Did you have a fitness program before your injury? To me it really sounds like you lost your conditioning and that contributes to loss of confidence. Also how was quality of PT? Unfortunately, not all PT is the same. I was very fortunate in that "professional mountain bike instructor"/ return to sport was in my surgery notes. Some folks get what I call return to cubicle PT. So that's something to think about. For next season, focus on your fitness NOW and then maybe have a lesson to help with finding your center when you return to skiing.
Maybe I'm off base, who knows. All I know is my experience ( full ACL hamstring reconstruction) I was super strong at the time of injury and worked back to that point before I ever put my skis back on.
 

marzNC

Angel Diva
I suggest finding a "functional fitness" program that will hit strength, mobility, plyometrics, movement on all planes to attend. Did you have any kind of fitness program after you were released from PT? Did you have a fitness program before your injury?
Good questions. When I was doing knee rehab after popping off an ACL, I actively looked for a fitness center to join and a personal trainer who I could work with after PT was completed. I hadn't been doing any deliberate ski conditioning before that. I wanted to find a personal trainer who had at least been on skis a bit. Managed to find one who was older (since I was over 50) and quite willing to learn and research about exercise directly related to supporting knees AND general ski conditioning.
 

marzNC

Angel Diva
I chalked some of my troubles to my skis, my beloved Head Kores. They felt too wide, too plankish. I took a visit to the rental shop, grabbed some intermediate rentals with a 76mm waist.
Good idea! I opted to use skis that were both narrower and shorter than my usual skis before knee rehab.

I’m looking forward to the warmer weather and continuing my fitness, getting my legs and knee stronger by running and cycling. We bought season passes for next year. I’ll be back to try my hand again at this sport that I loved. I’ve spent wayyy too much on gear to give up. To go from a confident skier to a noobie is beyond frustrating. Kudos to those adults out there that try this sport at 40. Lessons are definitely on the agenda for next season. Fortunately, a friend of mine will be instructing here next year. I’ll be hitting her up for lessons. Hopefully we have a better season here in the mid-Atlantic!

Full recovery from ACLr surgery can take a bit longer than getting back to good daily living function. From what others have said, the mental aspect for returning to the slopes remains a work-in-progress for a while.

I have no doubt you'll figure out how to get back to having plenty of fun on the slopes next season!
 

geargrrl

Angel Diva
Good questions. When I was doing knee rehab after popping off an ACL, I actively looked for a fitness center to join and a personal trainer who I could work with after PT was completed. I hadn't been doing any deliberate ski conditioning before that. I wanted to find a personal trainer who had at least been on skis a bit. Managed to find one who was older (since I was over 50) and quite willing to learn and research about exercise directly related to supporting knees AND general ski conditioning.
I get learning about ski conditioning, but they ( as a personal trainer??) had to learn about exercise to support knees? That kind of freaks me out.
 

marzNC

Angel Diva
I get learning about ski conditioning, but they ( as a personal trainer??) had to learn about exercise to support knees? That kind of freaks me out.
For more context . . . My personal trainer was/is a retired school teacher (almost 30 years). Being a personal trainer was a second career. She knew exercises good for hamstrings and so on. Her clients tended to be seniors over 55, if not 65, and most of them were not nearly as active as I am. As I found ideas online she was open to suggestions. She also did her own research to come up with new ideas she hadn't used before. It became a fun collaboration.
 

HikenSki

Angel Diva
I suggest finding a "functional fitness" program that will hit strength, mobility, plyometrics, movement on all planes to attend. Did you have any kind of fitness program after you were released from PT? Did you have a fitness program before your injury? To me it really sounds like you lost your conditioning and that contributes to loss of confidence. Also how was quality of PT? Unfortunately, not all PT is the same. I was very fortunate in that "professional mountain bike instructor"/ return to sport was in my surgery notes. Some folks get what I call return to cubicle PT. So that's something to think about. For next season, focus on your fitness NOW and then maybe have a lesson to help with finding your center when you return to skiing.
Maybe I'm off base, who knows. All I know is my experience ( full ACL hamstring reconstruction) I was super strong at the time of injury and worked back to that point before I ever put my skis back on.
I made sure the PT I saw understood my goal was to get back out this season. It was hard core PT twice at the office for 7mo then once a week to touch base while I continued all the strength and agility exercises on my own. I’ve also been running as a form of aerobic exercise. So going into this weekend I have better fitness and strength than I’ve had in years. I’ll continue the strength exercises and work on other fitness through the warmer months, letting the ACL continue to heal and my overall fitness to get even better.
 

HikenSki

Angel Diva
Good idea! I opted to use skis that were both narrower and shorter than my usual skis before knee rehab.



Full recovery from ACLr surgery can take a bit longer than getting back to good daily living function. From what others have said, the mental aspect for returning to the slopes remains a work-in-progress for a while.

I have no doubt you'll figure out how to get back to having plenty of fun on the slopes next season!
Oh, I have no doubt much of my struggle was mental. Then realizing I couldn’t do the things I had previously done without thinking just made things worse by getting frustrated and down. I would have continued to ski longer today but the knee was achy from the weight of the ski and boot and being forced to ski in the non ideal wedge shape way too much. Just riding the lift and being bent with my lower leg locked in the boot was enough to irritate it at the lower graft anchor spot. With 9mo until next season, there’s enough time to continue healing and becoming stronger. I am hoping I can get some time on the Inside Ski simulator to get the legs and muscles used to the ski boots again.
 

marzNC

Angel Diva
I’ll continue the strength exercises and work on other fitness through the warmer months,
As an older skier, my focus after making sure I spent enough time on hamstrings and 1-leg balance was core strength and flexibility. That was one reason that after learning how to use the TRX with my personal trainer, that became a primary tool at home. I put the most useful exercises I found in those years into a blog to make it easier to find them later on. I need a lot of variety to stay interested. Eventually added info related to weight lifting for bone building.
 

skibum4ever

Angel Diva
In January 2022, I tore my right ACL. Fortunately it was a clean tear and no other damage was found to other ligaments. I let swelling die down and had surgery in late March. I followed the great advice here and stuck with my PT and got cleared to ski in January, however I didn’t feel my strength was good enough so I continued my PT till mid Feb, when I booked a trip back to the mountain I sustained my injury on last year. Unfortunately, sciatic nerve issues flared up a week before my trip and I couldn’t ski due to muscle weakness. Fast forward three weeks and we were able to take advantage of the late mid-Atlantic snow and cold and headed back to the mountain. I felt strong enough to hop into my skis and give skiing a go again. I was excited, I was terrified. With hubby on parenting duty, I had to ski alone. Probably for the best - advice from hubby never goes well. :-D

The experience was nothing like what I had hoped. I was miserable, frustrated, and can see why new skiers quit. The first slide down the bunny hill was scary, but I did it. I wedged the entire way down, immobilized by fear. I kept at it trying to work on my wedge turns. Forget parallel. Forget that I was an advanced intermediate before I got injured. It was like I forgot to ski, there was no muscle memory. I skied over to another longer green run to give me more distance to work on my positioning. It was awful. Got stuck, fell, walked down the hill to the flatter part. Why did I not think to do the falling leaf? Sideslips? Who knows. I just wanted to be done. I made my way back to the lodge, did a few more slides down the bunny hill after many tears. I called it a day. Knee was sore but otherwise fine.

I chalked some of my troubles to my skis, my beloved Head Kores. They felt too wide, too plankish. I took a visit to the rental shop, grabbed some intermediate rentals with a 76mm waist. For $33, why not. I mustered up the energy and confidence to give it another go today. Conditions were great, fast. Perfect for my pre-ACL injury self, a bit scary for the gal trying to get out of wedge turns and find parallel again. I did two runs on the bunny hill. The rentals felt much better, easier to turn. Off I went to the big long green. 2mi of gentle terrain to work on my turns. It was exhausting. I was in the backseat, sitting on my heels. I couldn’t bring my skis around. I didn’t have my arms forward. Gawd I was a hot mess. Why was nothing clicking??? My legs hurt, my quads started to burn. I made it back to the lodge to take a break, loosen the boots, regroup. After about 15mins, I headed back up. I gave myself a pep talk, tried to pump myself up. I started to find a little groove. Flatter terrain I could get my inside ski to flatten and slide in by focusing on rotating my hip and getting forward. Pole planting helped too. I just felt so stiff, so scared of falling, scared of going too fast. “Why can’t I get parallel? What is wrong with me? Why can I not ski anymore???” were repeated voices in my head. I made it back to the lodge. Stuck in the wedge on anything that wasn’t almost flat. I was done. Muscles tired, knee sore. Too frustrated. Goodbye 2023 season.

I’m looking forward to the warmer weather and continuing my fitness, getting my legs and knee stronger by running and cycling. We bought season passes for next year. I’ll be back to try my hand again at this sport that I loved. I’ve spent wayyy too much on gear to give up. To go from a confident skier to a noobie is beyond frustrating. Kudos to those adults out there that try this sport at 40. Lessons are definitely on the agenda for next season. Fortunately, a friend of mine will be instructing here next year. I’ll be hitting her up for lessons. Hopefully we have a better season here in the mid-Atlantic!

@HikenSki I'm very sorry to hear about your first days back. But now you have even more motivation to work hard all summer to reach your goal of skiing more comfortably and confidently next season when conditions get good.

I'm extremely afraid that I will repeat your experience this May when I try to ski again. My last ski day was December 4 2021 when I broke multiple bones in my leg. My next ski day will hopefully be on May 1st 2023. That's 17 months without skiing!!! I too will be using shorter narrower skis probably forever. I plan to take a lesson because like you I don't want my husband involved at all though I'm not certain how to keep him from observing even in a lesson.

I alternate between joy at the idea of getting back to the slopes, and fear that I will be too terrified to get off the beginner chair and make that first turn. But I love skiing too much to give it up without a fight. If I do poorly when I try in May, I will probably try again in December. Sometimes I picture myself doing well; other times I picture myself falling down getting off the chair and reinjuring my leg. At least you've gotten past that stage and it can only get better.

I have come back from a TPF and a knee replacement very successfully and with minimal fear but this is different. I'm a lot older and the injury was a lot worse.

Have a good active summer and please keep us posted about your NEXT ski day.

Barbara
aka Skibum4ever
 

TiffAlt

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
While I can offer no targeted advice and I can feel the frustration you're feeling through the screen, I wanted to tell you that I very much admire your resolve to come back after your surgery. It shows you're a fighter and where there is a will, there is always a way. I just know you're going to find that way too, you've got the right attitude.
 

scandium

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
In January 2022, I tore my right ACL. Fortunately it was a clean tear and no other damage was found to other ligaments. I let swelling die down and had surgery in late March. I followed the great advice here and stuck with my PT and got cleared to ski in January, however I didn’t feel my strength was good enough so I continued my PT till mid Feb, when I booked a trip back to the mountain I sustained my injury on last year. Unfortunately, sciatic nerve issues flared up a week before my trip and I couldn’t ski due to muscle weakness. Fast forward three weeks and we were able to take advantage of the late mid-Atlantic snow and cold and headed back to the mountain. I felt strong enough to hop into my skis and give skiing a go again. I was excited, I was terrified. With hubby on parenting duty, I had to ski alone. Probably for the best - advice from hubby never goes well. :-D

The experience was nothing like what I had hoped. I was miserable, frustrated, and can see why new skiers quit. The first slide down the bunny hill was scary, but I did it. I wedged the entire way down, immobilized by fear. I kept at it trying to work on my wedge turns. Forget parallel. Forget that I was an advanced intermediate before I got injured. It was like I forgot to ski, there was no muscle memory. I skied over to another longer green run to give me more distance to work on my positioning. It was awful. Got stuck, fell, walked down the hill to the flatter part. Why did I not think to do the falling leaf? Sideslips? Who knows. I just wanted to be done. I made my way back to the lodge, did a few more slides down the bunny hill after many tears. I called it a day. Knee was sore but otherwise fine.

I chalked some of my troubles to my skis, my beloved Head Kores. They felt too wide, too plankish. I took a visit to the rental shop, grabbed some intermediate rentals with a 76mm waist. For $33, why not. I mustered up the energy and confidence to give it another go today. Conditions were great, fast. Perfect for my pre-ACL injury self, a bit scary for the gal trying to get out of wedge turns and find parallel again. I did two runs on the bunny hill. The rentals felt much better, easier to turn. Off I went to the big long green. 2mi of gentle terrain to work on my turns. It was exhausting. I was in the backseat, sitting on my heels. I couldn’t bring my skis around. I didn’t have my arms forward. Gawd I was a hot mess. Why was nothing clicking??? My legs hurt, my quads started to burn. I made it back to the lodge to take a break, loosen the boots, regroup. After about 15mins, I headed back up. I gave myself a pep talk, tried to pump myself up. I started to find a little groove. Flatter terrain I could get my inside ski to flatten and slide in by focusing on rotating my hip and getting forward. Pole planting helped too. I just felt so stiff, so scared of falling, scared of going too fast. “Why can’t I get parallel? What is wrong with me? Why can I not ski anymore???” were repeated voices in my head. I made it back to the lodge. Stuck in the wedge on anything that wasn’t almost flat. I was done. Muscles tired, knee sore. Too frustrated. Goodbye 2023 season.

I’m looking forward to the warmer weather and continuing my fitness, getting my legs and knee stronger by running and cycling. We bought season passes for next year. I’ll be back to try my hand again at this sport that I loved. I’ve spent wayyy too much on gear to give up. To go from a confident skier to a noobie is beyond frustrating. Kudos to those adults out there that try this sport at 40. Lessons are definitely on the agenda for next season. Fortunately, a friend of mine will be instructing here next year. I’ll be hitting her up for lessons. Hopefully we have a better season here in the mid-Atlantic!
How frustrating for you! I hope you have a better season next year and best wishes with the off-season strengthening. I'm not sure if you do this already, but have any previous instructors ever shown you a "warmup" to help with your skiing? I have been shown a few exercises including "tracing the turn" with each foot without skis on, movements such as lunges, squats etc. with skis on, flexing forwards/backwards and finding the "just right" athletic stance before pushing off down the hill - these are all to help with correct body position and technique and finding that ski muscle memory.
 

MrsPlow

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
If it's any consolation, I start every season feeling like I've never skied before. No injuries to recover from so far, just completely incompetent while people whizz past me having the best day. After a day or 2 I'm back to being able to turn and not relying entirely on my trusty snowplow. After a week I'm racing people to get to the powder, if we're lucky enough to get any early on. But I always struggle for the first couple of days, and in my case, it's all in my head. As others have said, drills and allowing myself to re-learn on easy slopes for a day or 2 definitely help.

I appreciate that recovering from your injury makes things much, much more complicated but I just wanted to comment and say that in my experience it has always got better, however awful the first day was.
 

HikenSki

Angel Diva
As an older skier, my focus after making sure I spent enough time on hamstrings and 1-leg balance was core strength and flexibility. That was one reason that after learning how to use the TRX with my personal trainer, that became a primary tool at home. I put the most useful exercises I found in those years into a blog to make it easier to find them later on. I need a lot of variety to stay interested. Eventually added info related to weight lifting for bone building.
Thanks for the exercise suggestions! I've got very strong lower legs from all the PT but definitely need to work on my core.
 

HikenSki

Angel Diva
@HikenSki I'm very sorry to hear about your first days back. But now you have even more motivation to work hard all summer to reach your goal of skiing more comfortably and confidently next season when conditions get good.

I'm extremely afraid that I will repeat your experience this May when I try to ski again. My last ski day was December 4 2021 when I broke multiple bones in my leg. My next ski day will hopefully be on May 1st 2023. That's 17 months without skiing!!! I too will be using shorter narrower skis probably forever. I plan to take a lesson because like you I don't want my husband involved at all though I'm not certain how to keep him from observing even in a lesson.

I alternate between joy at the idea of getting back to the slopes, and fear that I will be too terrified to get off the beginner chair and make that first turn. But I love skiing too much to give it up without a fight. If I do poorly when I try in May, I will probably try again in December. Sometimes I picture myself doing well; other times I picture myself falling down getting off the chair and reinjuring my leg. At least you've gotten past that stage and it can only get better.

I have come back from a TPF and a knee replacement very successfully and with minimal fear but this is different. I'm a lot older and the injury was a lot worse.

Have a good active summer and please keep us posted about your NEXT ski day.

Barbara
aka Skibum4ever
I love this sport too much to quit. It's definitely a case of mind over matter, getting over that fear that I may get hurt again. I know why I got hurt the first time (skiing too fast, bumped up conditions, poor light, and poor physical shape). Dialing it back, skiing smart, working on my fitness, and taking some lessons will set me up for success. I am confident you will return strong and even if there are hiccups like I've had, you will persevere as well. I hope too that my next ski day report is one of excitement and joy!
 

HikenSki

Angel Diva
How frustrating for you! I hope you have a better season next year and best wishes with the off-season strengthening. I'm not sure if you do this already, but have any previous instructors ever shown you a "warmup" to help with your skiing? I have been shown a few exercises including "tracing the turn" with each foot without skis on, movements such as lunges, squats etc. with skis on, flexing forwards/backwards and finding the "just right" athletic stance before pushing off down the hill - these are all to help with correct body position and technique and finding that ski muscle memory.
These are great ideas! The weight of the ski and boot was definitely a new feeling for my legs, especially the bad knee - it wasn't used to something pulling it down. Playing in my boots and moving around in the gear is definitely the agenda for next time to warm up!
 

HikenSki

Angel Diva
If it's any consolation, I start every season feeling like I've never skied before. No injuries to recover from so far, just completely incompetent while people whizz past me having the best day. After a day or 2 I'm back to being able to turn and not relying entirely on my trusty snowplow. After a week I'm racing people to get to the powder, if we're lucky enough to get any early on. But I always struggle for the first couple of days, and in my case, it's all in my head. As others have said, drills and allowing myself to re-learn on easy slopes for a day or 2 definitely help.

I appreciate that recovering from your injury makes things much, much more complicated but I just wanted to comment and say that in my experience it has always got better, however awful the first day was.
I do think if we had a couple more days I would get there. Occasionally I'd get parallel and get excited that things were starting to click, then I'd start thinking too much and it would go to crap. LOL. With season passes for next year there will be less pressure to push push push for the few days to get my money's worth. I can take my time finding those ski legs again. I'll also have a different mindset. I know it's there - I've been skiing since I was a kid!
 

MrsPlow

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I do think if we had a couple more days I would get there. Occasionally I'd get parallel and get excited that things were starting to click, then I'd start thinking too much and it would go to crap. LOL. With season passes for next year there will be less pressure to push push push for the few days to get my money's worth. I can take my time finding those ski legs again. I'll also have a different mindset. I know it's there - I've been skiing since I was a kid!
I'm very spoilt - seasons pass and not far to drive so I can go ski for an hour or 2 then come home. I get the not thinking too much thing - I just need to get to the point where I'm not thinking about what I'm doing and it's all fine.
 

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