Philosophical Question for the Divas...

[tradygirl]

To all you girls out there who always end up in the kitchen talking gear, skiing, and beer with the guys while the girls are talking furniture and shopping....

Do you ever feel like it's hard meeting women that share your interests and outlook on life? As much as I love hanging out with the boys, I love having girlfriends. But, girls that share my passion for skiing, biking, and climbing and are still fun to be with have been few and far between.

I've had very few girlfriends who understand why I would get up at 3:00 in the morning to get in a powder run as the sun rises before work, or why I like to suffer on 9-10 hour days in the backcountry. Or why I would go to the climbing gym after a 4-hour morning on the rock. Or why their husbands might call me to go skiing or ask for my advice on brewing beer. The girls that have understood this - bless them. All of the guys get it - why not girls?

Have any of you been lucky enough to find that girlfriend? The one who's not afraid to get her hands dirty and challenge herself to tears with you? The one that you can risk your life with and laugh over beers with? That would call you at 4:00AM because it's snowing? That would push you to be your best while you push her to be hers?

I was just curious what others have experienced. I wouldn't change my non-skiing, non-climbing, non-biking girlfriends for the world, but I wonder if anyone had ever had that friend that just clicked.

 

[ski diva]

Oh, I love this thread!!!!!

The answer to that is a resounding NO!!!!!! And it's one of the primary reasons I started this forum nearly a year ago. I have ZERO friends who share my interest in skiing. The only ones I've found who do are the wonderful women who've joined TheSkiDiva.com. I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one in the world who felt this way. I felt, well, not exactly lonely -- because I do have great friends -- but alone in my interest and incomplete in my ability to share such an important part of my life. Thanks to everyone here, that's no longer the case. Now I have 300 friends who ski! And who like to talk about it! How cool is that?

 

[Pequenita]

I'm lucky in one sense -- I've several girlfriends who fit that description. But none of us live near each other: DC, Boston, four corners area of Arizona, SF. And then out of the blue this year, I met a woman my age on a chairlift, also skiing solo, who started work in my office 2 weeks prior. We plan on hitting the slopes this winter, but aside from that, thank god for the internet and affordable cell phones plans that let me stay in touch with the women who are not in town.

 

[volklgirl]

I consider myself incredibly lucky...I have 2 friends and a mother who both understand and share my passion (at least I'm assuming SnowHot doesn't mind that I consider her "friend"??).

Otherwise, I have to admit that I'm guilty of hanging with the guys. When "the girls" get together and talk turns to kids, makeup, clothes - my eyes just glaze over and my mind wanders off on its own

 

[Lilgeorg]

Boy, I am the lucky one. My wonderful daughter, Lola, will talk skiing with me all day long. She will hike with me , kayak , and tandem hang glide with me. And of course, she is a great ski buddy.

Now that would be enough for one woman, but I am blessed with a granddaughter who will do all that and hike glaciers with me, too. She was a ski instructor at Okemo one year and has challenged me to ski trails I might not have without her encouragement. In fact, she and I have shared lots of adventures.

Only a little less so involved are daughters Renee and Kristi. Both love to hike. Kristi used to ski but finds it hard to get away now. Renee tried once and called it quits but loves to play in the snow.

The men in our family actually worry when all 5 of us are in the same room. They know something will be brewing.

Yep, I have it good!

 

[ski diva]

I should also mention that thanks to TheSkiDiva.com, I've finally been able to find some other women to ski with! Lilgeorg, who just posted above, is one of them. We ski together regularly at Okemo. Others I've skied with include Lola, QuiverQueen, SnowHot, Thatsagirl, Happy Feet, Liquidfeet, Tcarey, Cnewbound, Snowsprite, and Skigirl. So when I say that this forum has provided me with lots of ski buddies, I'm not kidding! :D

 

[abc]

Join a club!

I'm not kidding. I found plenty of women who're into the outdoors through various club. Cycing club, hiking club, skiing clubs...

But for me, the issue is somewhat academic. I simply talk gear with guys and that suits me just fine. (Now, keeping them at arms length is a different matter. ;) ) And I talk furniture, cooking and clothing with my non-skiing, non-climbing and non-biking friends, some of whom are MALE!!!

It's my observation that there ARE women who're very much like us. There're simply not enough of them to bump into easily. That why I go "clubing"! ;)

 

[Lola]

I am actually glad that I have found so many friends to ski with on this Forum. Thanks Wendy for starting TheSkiDiva.com! But what I really want to know is . . . Has anyone every skied with this banana?

But seriously, I have never been a girly girl. And I must say that most of the women I work with think I am crazy . . . not just about the skiing . . but the biking, hiking, canoeing, kayaking, hang gliding, etc. The thought of those activites actually sacres them. But you know what scares me? getting a make over, or a pedicure, or going shopping for a dress to wear to a wedding. Oh, and shopping for shoes to go with that dress actually terrifies me.

 

[tradygirl]

I love hearing all of your experiences and the friendships you have. I guess I've always had my "biking friends", my "hiking friends", my "climbing friends", and my "party friends":p , but have any of you been lucky enough to have the friend that does it all (sounds like a few of you are lucky enough to have daughters and moms to join you)?

I had a girlfriend in college that did everything that I did, and was really good at it too! It was so cool to have that go-to girl who was always willling to try something new, push my ability, and still have a ton of fun with. She moved to Tahoe a few years back and I still miss her.

I've been very lucky in the last year or two to have met some fabulous new women, mostly because of the internet. Some can kick my butt on the trails with a smile (uh....Altagirl!) and others are having a great time as beginners. Either way, girls are priceless companions for encouragement, laughter, and comfort. I can't wait to meet more girls on the hill this winter!!

 

[altagirl]

I love hearing all of your experiences and the friendships you have. I guess I've always had my "biking friends", my "hiking friends", my "climbing friends", and my "party friends":p , but have any of you been lucky enough to have the friend that does it all (sounds like a few of you are lucky enough to have daughters and moms to join you)?

I had a girlfriend in college that did everything that I did, and was really good at it too! It was so cool to have that go-to girl who was always willling to try something new, push my ability, and still have a ton of fun with. She moved to Tahoe a few years back and I still miss her.

I've been very lucky in the last year or two to have met some fabulous new women, mostly because of the internet. Some can kick my butt on the trails with a smile (uh....Altagirl!) and others are having a great time as beginners. Either way, girls are priceless companions for encouragement, laughter, and comfort. I can't wait to meet more girls on the hill this winter!!

I'm totally with you. I think the problem is that once we get into the expert level of any sport - we tend to specialize into something, making a small population even smaller. In winter, I'm out trying to keep up with the guys off-piste at Alta, you're out touring, UTSG is on a snowboard, Lynx is out setting up photo shoots for work, Volklgirl is racing (hehe, I can't think of anyone local who I know that races...), and someone else is probably in the terrain park. And now we're all so busy with our little sub-categories of skiing that we don't see each other as much. Which is a bummer.

And then biking - Yentna and I are two peas in a pod out riding this summer - with both DH and SS. But then she's been injured a bunch, and even when she's healthy, she works some weekend days at the shop and therefore misses out on most of the trips we take. And you need a big bike - I'd love it if you got into DH/FR riding! :D (I know, it's expensive, and you're in school... I do wish we did more stuff together though!)

It does bum me out sometimes that I don't have a real best friend (other than my husband - which is great, but not quite the same) to do everything with. I mean, I know a number of really good women skiers, but my most consistent ski buddies are all guys. Weird.

 

[Sheena]

I don't have a single female friend who skis. I feel like I am stuck in the middle. I am not a very advanced skier, probably would consider myself upper intermediate, lower advanced. I am still weak in the bumps, and on really steep stuff. I have no desire to ski a few runs and then hang out in the lodge all day, and talk about boring crap. Nor do I want to hang out on blue groomers all day. However, I don't yet have the skills to go all over the mountain and keep up with the really good skiers.

I feel like my options are:

1) meet female friends who take it easy; or
2) find female skiers who are advanced, and try to keep up with them, but more likely, they will end up annoyed having to wait for me.

For the past 4 or so years, my primary activity partner is my husband, which is fine with me, but it would be nice to have some female activity partners. Not that I mind, because I love doing things with him, and he is very patient with me, when I am struggling through a hill climb, or a steep patch in skiing, etc.

Plus, now that I moved, I don't really have any female friends to hang out with at all.:Cry:

Gah, this sounds like way too much of a sob story than I intended.

 

[tradygirl]

And now we're all so busy with our little sub-categories of skiing that we don't see each other as much. Which is a bummer.

I think you hit the nail on the head. I guess it's good that we're all so passionate about what we love that we don't sacrifice it for the sake of having a big posse, but it tends to isolate us.

And you need a big bike - I'd love it if you got into DH/FR riding! :D (I know, it's expensive, and you're in school... I do wish we did more stuff together though!)

I do happen to be borrowing the Sinister for DV on Sat. If you guys are going to be there, it would be cool to hook up for a run or two. I think a new bike may be on the "graduation present" list....

but my most consistent ski buddies are all guys. Weird.

Not so wierd...I don't know if you're with me, but I'd rather be with them a lot of the time anyway. Guys have a much lower level of drama and they seem to be more dedicated. However, being the only voice of reason does get old sometimes. ;)

Sheena - I know what you're saying, and that's where I am a lot - usually straggling behind the guys but ahead of the girls (except biking anymore!). You need to try getting down to SLC at least once this year to ski with us! I promise we will neither hold you back nor lose our patience. Just good times.

 

[ski now work later]

Sheena, I ski at a similar level to you so I can relate. It's hard for me to find women skiers who are good enough to keep up with me but not too advanced so that they leave me panting and freaking out at the pace and pitch. Hopefully now that you've moved to such an outdoor oriented area, you'll find other women skiers at your level. And it's really hard when you move someplace new and have no friends at all. A year from now things will feel really different, I promise!

 

[altagirl]

I think you hit the nail on the head. I guess it's good that we're all so passionate about what we love that we don't sacrifice it for the sake of having a big posse, but it tends to isolate us.

I hear ya. Every once in a while I'll do a girls day (like the maggette rides on the board), and that is really fun. But finding those people where you're all wanting to ride/ski the same stuff and are reasonably close to the same skill level - that's "the crew". You know? I'm lucky that Craig and I are as close as we are in ability level. :D

I do happen to be borrowing the Sinister for DV on Sat. If you guys are going to be there, it would be cool to hook up for a run or two. I think a new bike may be on the "graduation present" list....

Dang it! We're going to be in Whistler this weekend! But I hope you have a good time! You guys up for any Moab trips this fall?

Not so wierd...I don't know if you're with me, but I'd rather be with them a lot of the time anyway. Guys have a much lower level of drama and they seem to be more dedicated. However, being the only voice of reason does get old sometimes. ;)

Oh I hear you. A number of ripping skier girls I know can't really be depended on to wake up early for skiing. The guys can be counted on to be there early to compete for 1st chair. So it ends up being - well - I'll ski with you if I can find you when you show up!

Sheena - I know what you're saying, and that's where I am a lot - usually straggling behind the guys but ahead of the girls (except biking anymore!). You need to try getting down to SLC at least once this year to ski with us! I promise we will neither hold you back nor lose our patience. Just good times.

Agreed! And don't worry, I'm sure there are plenty of women skiers up in Logan. You'll find some - it just takes time!

 

[Pequenita]

I think you hit the nail on the head. I guess it's good that we're all so passionate about what we love that we don't sacrifice it for the sake of having a big posse, but it tends to isolate us.

Amen.

And as Sheena raised, once you find women skiers, it is challenging to find people at the same caliber. But I find that can happen regardless of whether one is a guy or gal, at least here. Everyone seems to have a different ability scale, so intermediate to one person is another person's advanced, etc.

On the bright side, I've followed some skiers down trails I wouldn't have considered, solely on the basis of "hey - I'm a better technical skier than you....and you're going down that? So can I!!"

 

[altagirl]

Amen.

And as Sheena raised, once you find women skiers, it is challenging to find people at the same caliber. But I find that can happen regardless of whether one is a guy or gal, at least here. Everyone seems to have a different ability scale, so intermediate to one person is another person's advanced, etc.

On the bright side, I've followed some skiers down trails I wouldn't have considered, solely on the basis of "hey - I'm a better technical skier than you....and you're going down that? So can I!!"

That's where it comes in to wanting friends of roughly the same ability level. If they're TOO good, you never push yourself to follow them on things that scare you - it's too easy to just put them on another level and not even consider it yourself. But with someone I'm pretty close in ability level to.... then I think huh - if they can do it, I can do it too!

 

[abc]

Do you ever feel like it's hard meeting women that share your interests and outlook on life?

"share your interest and outlook in life"???

Forgive me, that sounds more like a "significant someone" than just a skiing buddy!

Are you sure you REALLY want it in a woman? ;)

 

[SnowHot]

I consider myself incredibly lucky...I have 2 friends and a mother who both understand and share my passion (at least I'm assuming SnowHot doesn't mind that I consider her "friend"??).

Ditto that! ;)

I have to say that this is my life.
I've always been involved with my husband's motorcycle racing, and the Motorcycle club. Mostly men!
The buddy that got me into bicycling is a guy, and our business is all men, who never seem to mind that a girl is on the job with them, driving truck and running front end loaders.
More recently (2 years ago) I took up golf. I have two girls who will golf with me occasionally, but I golf with men for the most part.

My life is guys, and my best friends have mostly been guys.
There are rare exceptions, such as Volklgirl, and Donna, as well as the ski divas I've grown to love.

Funny thing about being surrounded by men my whole life, they treat me like I'm one of them. Is that good or bad?

 

[first lift last call]

I met my best mates when we did a ski season together. They will all be on the first lift with me and we are normally all the last ones in the bar together too. They are with me in the mountains, at the beach and I've even persuaded one of them to come biking with me too. More importantly, they are there for the good times and the bad, we'd go round the world for each other if we needed to. And it all started with skiing. Best mates in the world.

 

[ski chick]

Girlfriends

I found this post and although it's a little old, wanted to share my thoughts with Tradygirl.

Like you, when I was your age, felt the SAME way. (I'm 41 now). I went to a college where the ratio of men to women was 7 to 1. For my entire career I am/was ALWAYS the only woman in the entire department (engineering). I was fortunate to have a mentor during an internship who taught me a lot about working with men. I heeded her advice and have gained respect through the years based on my intelligence, knowledge and hard work. But I was lonely! I am a girlie girl through and through and LOVE the company of other women (have 3 older sisters and founded a sorority at that manly college). I believe in GIRL POWER for sure! I can tell you now, Trady Girl that it took some time but yes, now I have a vast group of girlfriends with whom I share many interests, including a love of snowsports. We plan an annual L.O.S.T - Ladies Only Snowsports Trip, plan our own Ski Chick days on the mtn. and support each other off the snow, including births, deaths, divorces, marriages, illness. We also challenge each other on the NASTAR course and encourage each other to try new terrain.

So...there ARE other women JUST like you out there who are your future, life-long friends. They're waiting for you too just like you're waiting for them. You just haven't met them yet. Time, time, give it time!