SummerRunner
Diva in Training
Hi fellow divas!
I've been a long-time reader, but this is my first post! I started skiing a few years ago (early 30s). Initially I lived in the Bay Area and would go to Tahoe a couple times a year and crash down the greens/blues. Then a couple years ago we moved to Salt Lake City and my job has been kind enough to let me take PTO to do Ladies Day at Alta for a couple seasons, so I've gone from struggling on blue groomers to feeling pretty okay on easy to moderate off-trail black terrain -- think easier stuff off the High T.
While I'm happy with my progress, I feel very self-conscious about the fact that I'm not a fast skier and that I still get nervous on harder terrain. Having good form makes me feel better, and I'm still working on staying forward in certain situations, so I'll often ski areas that aren't quite at my limit so that I can focus more on technique, even though I'm pretty sure I could survival ski down more impressive runs.
Everyone else I ski with (outside of training programs) skis way faster and more confidently than me, and a handful have a tendency to be really condescending, and it makes me feel like maybe I haven't improved. The worst was this weekend -- I was skiing with a female friend who has 10 years of skiing experience on me and is very willing to bomb down things, but also tends to be in the backseat, lift her ski to turn, etc. We skied most of the same runs; she would finish a few seconds ahead of me most of the time but also crashed about 8 times (powder day so no big deal), I went slower but didn't fall at all. In some areas (bumps, heavier snow) I tended to be a little faster than her. We ran into some other friends, one of whom was struggling quite a bit on the runs we were on, and when my friend suggested we go ski something even harder, I said I'd prefer to do more laps where we were. Struggling woman stayed with me, my friend went off with the other woman (who is the strongest of all of us). I had some of the best runs of my day pitching things out for the other lady, really focusing on linking turns in powder (a new skill for me) between sections. I was grinning ear to ear until I met up with my original friend and she commented, "Oh, it's so great you found someone at YOUR LEVEL to ski with!" (that person being the woman who was struggling so hard), and then talking about how the run she'd done would be a double black diamond if Alta flagged them and how it's so cool that she's a REAL skier now, the implication being that I'm still a beginner.
This same friend is allergic to blue runs, as though she's afraid she's going to lose her "real skier" card if she touches blue terrain even if a stand of trees or whatever is nicer than a black run nearby, so I know I shouldn't take anything she says too seriously, but it really got to me. Maybe I am hampering myself by being too much of a coward and not forcing myself to survival ski more? There was tons of fresh snow the day we were skiing so it's not like I was going to get hurt if I fell, but on the other hand even a lot of the runs I DID do off the High T that day were new to me. So I pushed myself some. And I was so proud of myself for doing them, and it stung a lot to hear them brushed off as "easy" and "not meaningful". Overall I hate being such a coward and get frustrated that my friends (even my female friends!) seem to see everything as a competition -- who skied the hardest run? Who goes fastest? Feeling proud of linking turns where I haven't been able to in the past or of checking my ego and mostly sticking to terrain where I can practice good form or focusing on what is FUN on a given day is starting to feel like a liability -- like I should be ashamed if I consider anything but the steepest, most aggressive runs "fun". I know I need to just ignore them, but it's hard when I think there's a kernel of truth to me just being too timid a person for skiing to ever really be a fit, and there being something pathetic about how much effort I put into improving just to still be worse than almost everyone I ski with :/
I've been a long-time reader, but this is my first post! I started skiing a few years ago (early 30s). Initially I lived in the Bay Area and would go to Tahoe a couple times a year and crash down the greens/blues. Then a couple years ago we moved to Salt Lake City and my job has been kind enough to let me take PTO to do Ladies Day at Alta for a couple seasons, so I've gone from struggling on blue groomers to feeling pretty okay on easy to moderate off-trail black terrain -- think easier stuff off the High T.
While I'm happy with my progress, I feel very self-conscious about the fact that I'm not a fast skier and that I still get nervous on harder terrain. Having good form makes me feel better, and I'm still working on staying forward in certain situations, so I'll often ski areas that aren't quite at my limit so that I can focus more on technique, even though I'm pretty sure I could survival ski down more impressive runs.
Everyone else I ski with (outside of training programs) skis way faster and more confidently than me, and a handful have a tendency to be really condescending, and it makes me feel like maybe I haven't improved. The worst was this weekend -- I was skiing with a female friend who has 10 years of skiing experience on me and is very willing to bomb down things, but also tends to be in the backseat, lift her ski to turn, etc. We skied most of the same runs; she would finish a few seconds ahead of me most of the time but also crashed about 8 times (powder day so no big deal), I went slower but didn't fall at all. In some areas (bumps, heavier snow) I tended to be a little faster than her. We ran into some other friends, one of whom was struggling quite a bit on the runs we were on, and when my friend suggested we go ski something even harder, I said I'd prefer to do more laps where we were. Struggling woman stayed with me, my friend went off with the other woman (who is the strongest of all of us). I had some of the best runs of my day pitching things out for the other lady, really focusing on linking turns in powder (a new skill for me) between sections. I was grinning ear to ear until I met up with my original friend and she commented, "Oh, it's so great you found someone at YOUR LEVEL to ski with!" (that person being the woman who was struggling so hard), and then talking about how the run she'd done would be a double black diamond if Alta flagged them and how it's so cool that she's a REAL skier now, the implication being that I'm still a beginner.
This same friend is allergic to blue runs, as though she's afraid she's going to lose her "real skier" card if she touches blue terrain even if a stand of trees or whatever is nicer than a black run nearby, so I know I shouldn't take anything she says too seriously, but it really got to me. Maybe I am hampering myself by being too much of a coward and not forcing myself to survival ski more? There was tons of fresh snow the day we were skiing so it's not like I was going to get hurt if I fell, but on the other hand even a lot of the runs I DID do off the High T that day were new to me. So I pushed myself some. And I was so proud of myself for doing them, and it stung a lot to hear them brushed off as "easy" and "not meaningful". Overall I hate being such a coward and get frustrated that my friends (even my female friends!) seem to see everything as a competition -- who skied the hardest run? Who goes fastest? Feeling proud of linking turns where I haven't been able to in the past or of checking my ego and mostly sticking to terrain where I can practice good form or focusing on what is FUN on a given day is starting to feel like a liability -- like I should be ashamed if I consider anything but the steepest, most aggressive runs "fun". I know I need to just ignore them, but it's hard when I think there's a kernel of truth to me just being too timid a person for skiing to ever really be a fit, and there being something pathetic about how much effort I put into improving just to still be worse than almost everyone I ski with :/