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Husband/Wife Tests

Pequenita

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Demerits
7. Seams in hose often crooked.



Did hose in 1939 had more visible seams than hose in 2008 does? Because the only seams in my hose are located on the feet, where they're not visible, and, you know, under the skirt, where if you're a guy who's biggest concern is checking out whether the hose seams are crooked or not, then maybe you shouldn't be married to a woman.... Just sayin'. :becky:
 

itri

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Yup, old-time hose had a seam all the way up the back, so it was a big deal to make sure that they were straight. Thank goodness that those were gone long before I had to wear hose, and I'm even more thankful that I pretty much *never* have to wear hose anymore!
 

MaineSkiLady

Angel Diva
Indeed. "Seamless" stockings did not appear until after WWII, during which time there were zero. FWIW, pantyhose came out in 1967-68. Prior to that, it was garter belts, baby. Or spandex - can't even bring myself to type the word that held up stockings. Was there.

As for the "test" itself, had to check this out, and :ROTF: OMG, my life is shortened!! :eek: Whatever shall I do with all those raggedy, soiled dresses and aprons???? :nono::doh: Oh no, the padding around in my stocking feet! (does barefoot count? guess not). Ha, I'd say I'm in the negative column on this test!!! Thank goodness it's not 70 years ago!! (Sure would have liked my mom to see this, though, she was married in 1935).
 

pinto

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Ha ... I did pretty well on the demerit part, but once I hit merit, it was all over.

What got me was this all-consuming list of things to do around the house, as well as out of the house, and then toward the very end: "Willing to get a job to help support the home."

Eh, up yours, buddy. (Oops, that's another demerit.)
 

MaineSkiLady

Angel Diva
Let's share this stuff verbatim for those w/o time to link.
I'll list the demerits first, because these are too good to pass up:
************
1. Slow in coming to bed -- delays till husband is almost asleep.
2. Doesn't like children. (5)
3. Fails to sew on buttons or darn socks regularly.
4. Wears soiled or ragged dresses and aprons around the house.
5. Wears red nail polish.
6. Often late for appointments. (5)
7. Seams in hose often crooked.
8. Goes to bed with curlers on her hair or much face cream.
9. Puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them.
10. Is a backseat driver.
11. Flirts with other men at parties or restaurants. (5)
12. Is suspicious and jealous. (5)
13. Uses slang or profanity. (5)
14. Smokes, drinks, gambles, or uses dope. (5)
15. Talks about former boy friends or first husband.
16. Squeezes tooth paste at the top.
17. Reminds husband it is her money they are living on. (5)
18. Tells family affairs to casual acquaintances, too talkative.
19. A chronic borrower--doesn't keep stocked up.
20. Slows up card game with chatter and gossip.
21. Opens husband's personal mail.
22. Frequently exceeds her allowance or family budget. (5)
23. Eats onions, radishes, or garlic before a date or going to bed.
24. Tells risque or vulgar stories. (5)
25. Wears pajamas while cooking.
26. Talks during movie, play or concert.
27. Is more than 15 pounds overweight.
28. Often whining or complaining.
29. Discourteous to sales clerks and hired help.
30. Shoulder straps hang over arms or slip is uneven and shows.
31. Fails to wash top of milk bottle before opening it.
32. Corrects husband's speech or actions before others. (5)
33. Saves punishment of children for father at night. (5)
34. Serves dinner but fails to sit down till meal is half over--then wants husband to wait for her.
35. Wears pajamas instead of nightgown.
36. Fails to bathe or brush teeth often enough. (5)
37. Puts stockings to soak in wash basin.
38. Serves too much from tin cans or the delicatessen store.
39. Visits mother too often--a spoiled child.
40. Is snobbish or too much concerned in "keeping up with the Jones."
41. Dislikes husband's hobbies as fishing, baseball, etc.
42. Tells lies--not dependable. (5)
43. Doesn't want to get up to prepare breakfast.
44. Insists on driving the car when husband is along.
45. Smokes in bed or has cigarette stained fingers.
46. Cries, sulks or pouts too much.
47. Makes evening engagements without consulting her husband.
48. Talks too long on the phone.
49. Is a gossip.
50. Walks around house in stocking feet.
*************
Okay, the (5)'ers are the real baddies, ha.
My personal favorite here is:
31. Fails to wash top of milk bottle before opening it.
followed closely by:
13. Uses slang or profanity. (5)
Dude, a 5 pointer, WTF??? :eek:
:ROTF::ROTF:
 

RachelV

Administrator
Staff member
My favorite merit in the husband section:
38. Ardent lover--sees that wife has orgasm in marital congress. (20)

I love that that's the only one that's 20 points. Worth it!
 

Solincia

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
What's really funny is you can tell some of the complaints that people had back then, and realize that they are no different than the complaints men and woman have about each other now.... of course, I'm not talking about stockings and darning.......

I'm guilty of squeezing the toothpaste at the top... hehe... and get told about it...

Times may change, but men and woman surely dont--deep down--when it comes to each other.
 

num

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I've been thinking to compile a modern version of the test. I'd be interested to see what people feel strongly about now and how much things have changed. I may cut it in half and poll 300 of each gender instead to make it more managable, or may go hardcore and do the 600.
 

altagirl

Moderator
Staff member
My husband gave me a "look" at that one - but we use separate tubes so I don't know why it bothers him so much!

My husband and I even have separate bathrooms so he doesn't have to look at my 'mess'.... but it still bothers him and I still hear about it. Oh well.

It's funny though that not wanting children gives me all these negative points - when to my husband (who also definitely does not want children) it's a huge positive. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I decided to become a good housekeeper though.... ;)
 

Consuela

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Yeah, I just skipped the questions with the kids, as they don't really apply to us either. I think the main thing is that we are both in agreement on that point, so maybe we should each get a point for that? hehe

Now, I must say, I consider us a fairly "modern couple". However, we both scored Average. hahaha
 

SnoBunny

Certified Ski Diva
thanks for the link, Severine! I'd seen the test, but I hadn't taken it yet. I'm healthily average, I'll give myself that. Even if I do walk around the house with bare feet.
 

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