How hard are you on yourself?

[NewEnglandSkier]

Not sure if this has been covered before, but, how hard are you on yourself regarding your skiing abilities? For example, are you the type of person who tends to dwell on the imperfections and beat them to death while trying to improve or are you the type that is able to acknowledge them and then let them roll off your back (while still trying to improve)?

I got to thinking about this because I recently saw myself ski on video for the first time. Well, I already knew that I have a lot to work on, but when I saw the video I noticed how awful I looked! I think its one thing to be told what you need to work on, but it’s a whole nother story when you actually get to observe yourself ski and see for yourself what the instructor has been talking about. I came back from that trip with a whole laundry list of things to work on.
So anyway, I have been obsessing about everything I need to work on ever since I saw the video—I can’t seem to get it out of my mind. I’m the type who will dwell on all the imperfections and then beat myself up over them as I try and improve them. Sometimes this can be a good thing because it provides focus, but it can also work against me because I tend to think more about the mistakes that have already been made and it can sidetrack forward progress.

So what about other people—are you a dweller or a roll off you back personality??

 

[Sheena]

I am definitely a dweller, and I definitely do not think I am a good skiier. I would love to be able to bomb runs like Ingrid Backstrom (sp) or even as some of the divas here who get out into the backcountry and other steep terrain. Funny thing is though, I do some of my best skiing, when I don't try to focus on what i am doing wrong (I guess that is the clue for me maybe)

I would be afraid to see video of myself, because I know I would tear everything apart.

Part of this, I am sure, is related to this really annoying part of my personality where I like to do everything right, although I never measure up in my determination.

 

[Pequenita]

I would be afraid to see video of myself, because I know I would tear everything apart.

Maybe yes, maybe no. A friend took informal video of me last year; I was shocked at how good I looked. I wasn't ready for a Warren Miller film, but I looked a lot better than I thought and felt. I'm sure that ignorance is bliss: if it were a ski clinic, I probably would have been skewered.

So, maybe I am hard on myself.

 

[skigrl27]

I dwell. I will not be satisfied until I can do it all.

There was a post a while back for the "If Ullr Was a Girl" Contest. It consists of a big mountain comp & a park comp. I was watching the videos of some of the contestants...and they totally rip.

I will not be satisfied, nor will I stop beating myself up, until I'm confident enough to enter that comp. Not saying I WILL...but that's the level I want to be at. I want to huck off a 35' foot cliff with confidence. I want to learn some tricks in the park. I think about it every time I strap my boots on - "I need to step up my game" I tell myself. "I need to go out there & kill it today"

Check out some of the contestant promo videos: www.ifullrwasagirl.com

Only 4 get chosen to compete in Whistler. There's one girl who just totally kills it - can't remember her name, but I think it's obvious when you watch the videos. (skier not boarder)

 

[Gloria]

I am not too hard on myself, but I am into the redemption run. If I have a bad run, fall, or whatever, I like to go right back and redeem myself.

 

[pinto]

Maybe yes, maybe no. A friend took informal video of me last year; I was shocked at how good I looked. I wasn't ready for a Warren Miller film, but I looked a lot better than I thought and felt. I'm sure that ignorance is bliss: if it were a ski clinic, I probably would have been skewered.

So, maybe I am hard on myself.

I've never seen myself ski, and I don't really want to. I'm definitely in the ignorance-is-bliss camp.

However, I did have this experience after seeing video of myself playing tennis last season ... "Hey, that wasn't so bad!"

 

[IttyBittyBetty]

Both

I expect a lot from myself and as such am always trying harder. I want to ski with better form, especially on the steeps; however when I see a picture or video of me in not-so-great form, I don't beat myself up over it. Instead, I try to work on the the problem I see.

I want to learn new things, like how to ski switch and how to huck big drops. However, I am not so hard on myself that I think I suck if I can't do it all right away. So this year I'm trying to ski a little bit switch, just a few seconds at a time on green groomers (I fall doing this a lot!). I'm also jumping off all kinds of little things and making my way up to bigger drops on steeper landings (especially when the landing is soft powder).

Getting better doesn't mean you started out "bad". There's a fine balance between pushing yourself for self improvement and being a hard-@$$ on yourself. It's tough to improve when you're unrealistically hard on yourself but you also don't improve if you don't try to get better.

 

[dloveski]

When others are observing, watching, filming me--I just do not ski well---performance anxiety? Especially in the crud or bumpy stuff.

 

[Shellski]

I'm a dweller, I hate seeing myself on video, it looks nothing like I think I ski in my head, I just can't see anything else than what I see as my major technique faults. When someone else says I am skiing really well I get someone to film me and then when I watch it I just think 'NO NO NO!!!'.

 

[tradygirl]

Video is a hard one - it's cool to see myself ski, but at the same time I totally pick myself apart. When I'm actually SKIING, I don't really care how I look, just how I feel. I've gotten much better this year about not worrying about my "style", just how comfortable I am skiing things. I've skied some stuff that I'm really proud of, and I'm sure I flailed like an idiot on some of it. But that doesn't mean it wasn't extremely fun. Hey, if you're getting down the hill and you're smiling, who the hell cares?

 

[SueNJ]

I'm a dweller, I hate seeing myself on video, it looks nothing like I think I ski in my head, I just can't see anything else than what I see as my major technique faults. When someone else says I am skiing really well I get someone to film me and then when I watch it I just think 'NO NO NO!!!'.

You took the words right out of my mouth! I guess I'm my own worst critic.

 

[abc]

I expect a lot from myself and as such am always trying harder. I want to ski with better form, especially on the steeps; however when I see a picture or video of me in not-so-great form, I don't beat myself up over it. Instead, I try to work on the the problem I see.

Getting better doesn't mean you started out "bad". There's a fine balance between pushing yourself for self improvement and being a hard-@$$ on yourself. It's tough to improve when you're unrealistically hard on yourself but you also don't improve if you don't try to get better.

I spoke my mind, TOTALLY!

I get a lot of satisfaction from the little accomplishments I achieve along the way of my learning. That's a lot more motivating than dewlling on whatever shortcoming I still have.

So technically, I'm of the "roll off my back" kind of personality. But I'm also totally addicted to the challenge of "always (lots of) room to improve".

 

[Lilgeorg]

For me the videos were a way to see what the instructors were seeing. It was also good to hear that I had already improved and was well on my way to making more changes. But, even though I saw where I needed to improve, and worked on those items, I also remember that skiing is about having fun. If I spend the whole day on the slopes beating myself up, I have lost a day of playing in the snow. At my age, I know I only have so many days left ,so each and every one should bring joy and pleasure. I fired the inner critic and only listen to the voice that encourages me and is willing to play.

 

[Marigee]

I fired the inner critic and only listen to the voice that encourages me and is willing to play.

I like your the way you think!

 

[Quiver Queen]

The last time I was video'd skiing was 5 years ago--I hated it!! I think it set my skiing back by a couple of years due to the self doubt it created. I'd have to consider it long & hard before I'd entertain the idea again.

 

[persee]

OMG. I am my own worst enemy. Any time I have to see (or hear) myself I get incredibly selfconscious and then everything goes to sh*t. When I was like 12 I recorded a PSA and had to hear my own voice (outside of my head) for the first time. I HATED what I sounded like and tried desperately to change the way my voice sounded. So much that I became a mumbler just to not sound like I did! I also hate having pictures taken of myself because I'm almost never happy with the way I look, so I avoid the camera. As for being recorded I can get very self conscious on the ski slope if I think someone (that I know) is watching and then my form goes straight to h*ll. So I think to even be recorded I would have to not know I was being filmed and I think I definitely could not watch myself because I'd become obsessed over every imperfection and that would be the end of my having any confidence to ski anything!

I like to think I'm a decent level 7 skier. I don't need anything ruining that image! I'm a perfectionist so you see where this is going...

 

[Gina23]

I'm very hard on myself. I went to vail a few weeks ago with the "big girls" and I was sicker than a dog and did terrible. I beat myself up for an entire week.

 

[liquidfeet]

Saw myself on video earlier this year and it set me back for two weeks. I dwelled, and dwelled. Nothing I did while skiing felt good, and I wanted to go and hide. Also I stopped wearing the new coat I had worn that day.

I finally got my confidence back about skiing (not wearing the coat, though), but it took the comments of others to do that for me. I don't like having to depend on others' evaluations of me for my own self-confidence, but there it is, the ugly truth.

Now I'm really afraid of videos. So sad. I'm a dweller.

 

[NewEnglandSkier]

Well, it's good to know I'm not alone!

 

[NannyMin]

Video...

What a great thread! I've always thought video/MA was a great idea and I've forced myself to remain positive about the experience. But, honestly, as I've sat here thinking about my video experiences, I can't identify a single "aha" moment associated with it. I have, however, become extremely discouraged about my skiing ability based upon what I saw, and that took time to overcome, and regain my confidence.

I've found Weem's Sports Diamond to be helpful in that, I tend to get stuck on perfecting a specific element. Using the diamond and shifting my focus has lead to greater improvement.

So, I would say that I am the type to dwell on my imperfections. But, now thanks to a few tools, I'm better at shifting myself out of that rut.:D