SnowGlider,
Welcome to the best (AND ONLY) forum for women skiers. You are at the right place for getting understanding responses from women like you. I began skiing at 53, and I'm now 56, soon to be 57. When I moved to New England from the flat midwest four Augusts ago, I was determined to become an expert before I got too old to do it. I believe that anybody's ceiling at this age, that level of skiing which we will never surmount, lowers every year. Thus I'm in a hurry to hit it. Is that where you are? Do you want to bump into it in the near future? If so, you can do it.
Last year (skiing two-three days every week), over the summer (reading incessantly about skiing here, at Epic, on Nastar, and in books, and working on endurance and quad strength in the gym, on the road on a bike, and on hikes up mountains), and this year (skiing 3-4 days per week) I have put lots of effort into hitting that ceiling. I don't think I've reached it yet. Once there, I'll probably be sooooo0OOOo tired I'll be happy to just relax and decompress like everyone else my age who has been skiing 20-45 years all along. You don't need to do all this. I know other women who are at age 48-58 taking lessons and working on improving their form, and getting into racing for that same purpose. And, by the way, men too.
It sounds like you are doing the same thing as I am if you are skiing twice a week on Eastern hardpack (what else is there to ski on?)
So here's what I think. Any weekly packaged lessons with the same teacher in a group situation will both bolster your confidence, teach you in the most friendly environment the skills you need, and help you build lifetime friendships among others similarly possessed skiers (well ... this IS New England, and admittedly that's difficult to do at our age). It's not necessary to take a women's class, but if you do it's probably guaranteed user-friendly. It just takes persistence, good consistent lessons, CONSISTENT, i.e. from the same teacher, and hours on the hill.
I entered racing in a beer league (colloquial for citizen races without too much professionalism) because I read in one of my how-to-ski books that racing really teaches you how to ski. That is true. Race turns are not exactly like cruising-on-the-blues turns, but learning to do race turns does help in uncountable ways, because if you goof, it's absolutely crystal clear that you goofed. Your time tells the story, so you get the message loud and clear. Is there a non-competitive race league in your area? Where are you located? You might consider signing up for a night league if you can, take a race class that meets every week for ten weeks. My weekend race class has two men in it who have no intent to ever race; they just want to ski better. Doing either of these will help you advance quickly. Or just take an all-mountain class every weekend for ten weeks. What area are you in? Perhaps someone on this forum can point you in the right direction for good classes.
Are you an analytical thinker? If yes, then read the Nastar forums and the Epic forums. Buy books on how to ski; read them and take notes; then try things on the hill when you are skiing alone. Or, if you are not analytical at all, but instead a holistic learner, then ski with people who are faster and more courageous than you; try to keep up. Follow them, and copy, copy, copy. I've done all of this, and it helps immensely.
This is really important, more important than what type of skis you have. Make sure your boots are tight, get custom footbeds, pay for stance balancing, canting, and so on, and get it done by a GOOD BOOTFITTER. Go back after the first week and tell him/her what hurts, and get it fixed. Go back again the next week, and the next. You have a year of free fixing once you spend all that money. Ask around about who to go to before you do this. It's no good if you get a hack. You need an expert bootfitter. Ask here on this forum, or ask the old boyz/girlz where you ski.
Nourish your confidence. Life is an adventure, but only if you show up. Despite what anyone tells you, it can be done. You can not only conquer your fear of the blacks, but the ice, the double blacks and the bumps. You just need to keep trying.
It sounds like you've got a good start.