Question: How do people get over the fear of going fast?

[Tra262007]

Hello all,

I have been progressing greatly with my skiing over the last 3 years. I was 29 when I started skiing and never roller bladed or really roller skated much growing up. Moving while "standing still" was a new feeling for me when I started skiing. I can hockey stop, change turn radius to control speeds, and make parallel turns. In lessons I am somewhere around a level 6 according to my private lesson instructor in Breckenridge last year.

I am now trying to keep up with my bf but when ever I get the feeling that I am moving fast I feel the need to slow down cause I think I will be out of control. The great thing is that I can slow myself down by making tighter turns. I am so happy I am good enough now at skiing I never really feel out of control ever unless I am trying to ski faster. I however do not actually think I am out of control because I can slow myself easily.

As a result of me skiing slower my BF waits till I get a few hundred yards down the trail then he starts. He then gets a few 100 yards in front on me and has to wait for me to catch up. So on and so forth down the slope to the bottom. He even tries to ski slower and I try to follow his line, but once I get closer to his speed I make myself slow down. I really just want to be able to keep up with him so we can ski together a little better but I cant seem to allow myself to ski faster.

I am a good enough skier now to ski just about anything groomed I want. I just ski it at my speed, which I will agree is slow, but safe. My BF says that I am the only one at this point that can make me ski faster. He says its all mental because I look completely in control at all times. He is probably correct.

So do you ladies have any tricks or tips I can use to get over this fear. Has anyone else had this problem? Have others gone through this?

Thanks for your advice:
T

 

[contesstant]

As a "slower" skier (compared to my husband) my first word of advice is to sometimes ski with skiers at your level, or even below your level. Don't just ski with your SO. It can be a really defeating feeling and won't do much for your confidence to always be trying to keep up with a speedy skier. My confidence has soared in the past two seasons since I started skiing with other Divas. We all ski around the same speed, same terrain, and just go out and have fun without worrying about keeping up with one another.

Oh, and I also have a really heightened sense of fear and fear of speed. I have yet to get over it myself. I just go out and have fun and celebrate the accomplishments I HAVE attained!

 

[Jilly]

Ski at the speed you feel comfortable with!

 

[gardenmary]

I've been in your shoes - except I was afraid of everything, lol.

I used to go really slow, even though I was skiing intermediate slopes along with my DH and DS. They were very patient, but that started to wear thin one day. We were stopped on a green slope, and my DH told me to ski to a certain tree as fast as I could. For once, I didn't question, I just did it. It was a huge "aha" moment for me - I realized that speed made everything easier. I didn't have to work so hard. I also realized that the skills kicked in and were reliable, so I worked on increasing speed bit by bit each run. It took a few years before I was willing to really go fast, and I tend to be cautious on steeps I don't know well. One drill my coach has had me do is to ski wide GS turns and then tight slalom turns, and keep alternating them back and forth strictly as a means of controlling my speed. And of course there's the age-old trick of letting your edges carry you just a little uphill which peels speed off like crazy.

Ultimately, I had to believe in myself, and I had to believe what my coach told me - that I had the skills and the ability, I just had to use them.

 

[Tra262007]

See I knew others would have experience with this.

Going faster is easier that is for sure. I know that and have experienced that, I guess I just have to speed it up.

Oh and I do ski as fast as I want. My BF encourages me, but does not force me to do anything. We actually share skiing as something to do together. I think he is very sweet to stay with me like he does. I would have never gotten on the slopes if it wasn't for him! Now I love it, I just want to be able to have more fun with him.

 

[gardenmary]

It wouldn't hurt to spring for a private lesson or two, and let the instructor know what you've told us here and that you want to work on speed confidence. Tell the lesson desk that, actually, and ask if they can assign you an instructor who can help you with it. I've taken a LOT of lessons and I still take at least one every time I'm in Utah. I started this insanity at age 47 and lessons are absolutely the only reason I can do this at all (well, that and my German stubbornness!).

 

[abc]

There're two angles to look at this:

1) You should ski at the speed you actually ENJOY! Not the speed your BF skis, not the speed of the group, not the speed you "can"... just the speed you feel the thrill but not the danger. So, if that speed is slower than your BF, he'll just have to wait. And it seems he doesn't mind waiting anyway, so why take the fun out of it by going faster?

2) The feeling of control: Perhaps your control isn't as good as your BF thinks after all. And that inner voice you're hearing is giving you the right message by slowing you down. Remember, the faster you go, the longer the stopping distance, and the smaller the margin for error. So you really don't want to go faster than that "margin of error"! Now, there're more ways than just slowing down or even a hockey stop when it comes to expanding that margin. You need to look further ahead, and ready to ... no, not stop, but change direction to get around obstacles (aka, other skiers). How balance are you and how quickly can you change direction when someone jump in front of you?

I confess being a relatively slow skier even amongst others in my skill level. There're multiple reason for that. One being I have relatively slow reflex, so I can't react as quickly as many others. Another reason is I'm slightly one leg dominant. So when I cruise, I tend to "park" on that leg. As a result, I'm a little slower to turn one way than the other. In other words, if someone in front of me falls and block my way, I need to turn to get around it... I may or may not be quick enough if I'm no the wrong side of the trail! I know I feel a lot more comfortable skiing faster on one side of the trail than on the other because of that!

As you get more experience, you'll find you'll feel more comfortable skiing faster. Don't push before you're ready.

 

[Serafina]

There are a couple of things in my mind right now. First is that Mr. Serafina is a much slower skier than I am - he skis in control, and he definitely takes his time getting down a run. We do a few runs together where I do the same thing your BF is doing: ski down a ways, stop on the margin of the run, wait. I don't know about him, but I don't mind doing this with my husband in the least. Sometimes he wants tips ("hey, am I still doing that thing with my outside ski?") but mostly, we're just kind of hanging out together on a ski run. Also, it's nice because I can check out the surface of whatever he's about to ski, and let him know where the best snow is. So we do a run or two like that, and then I go off and ski by myself, and so does he. It works pretty well for us, from a "couple" standpoint.

Now, I can think of a couple reasons to be uncomfortable with speed. First, yeah, is worrying that you don't have the skill to handle the speed. Then there's worrying that you're going to fall, or that you're going to run over someone. If something's going to get in my head and make me scared of speed, it's these. Not so much the first, but I don't like falling, I'm 46 years old and it just takes stupidly long for bruises and such to heal at this age. Mostly I'm afraid of running over someone else. My hill gets pretty crowded, and like everyone else, when it's crowded, it's crowded with morons. People who stop and hang out in big clots right under a sheet of ice. Snowboarders who have little picnics in the middle of the run, right under a drop where you can't see them until you're right on them. I know, for myself, I'm a TOTALLY different skier when I know for sure that there is no emerging disaster happening below me on the slope.

The other thing I can think of is gear. Given the Gear Junkie Way of the Ski Divas, I'm only shocked no one has brought this up yet. I think the first sign you get that you need to scale up on your skis is that when you ski a little faster, the skis start to get a little wibbly on you. I'm sensitive to this issue because I just went through it myself. I spent the second half of last years' ski season riding skis that were too short for me. These skis (currently posted for sale, pair of super-awesome 2011 Tierras, everyone!) were amazing, amazing skis, but at a certain point between my size and my skills, they just weren't enough for me. And while they were still turning and showing me a great time that way, I was ready - skill-wise, and in my head-space - for some more speed, but my skis weren't, and the way they showed me this is by behaving just a little bit...I don't even know how to describe what was happening, other than that the immediate consequence was that I had to slow down right now, and it was enough of a problem that it actually gave me an aversion to speed. Thanks to the Divas, I understood that my ski length was probably the issue, but let me tell you, when I tried out some pairs of longer skis, it was like NIGHT and DAY, especially for speed. I found myself going WAY faster than I usually do, but I still felt totally in control, and totally comfortable, doing it. It was all in the ski.

 

[mustski]

I ski surrounded by testosterone, except when I meet up with local divas. Both my DH and DS are speedy! Something that works is to take turns leading. He can wait until you are a ways ahead and then speed down to join you. It breaks up the constant feeling of him waiting and you catching up.

 

[gardenmary]

My hill gets pretty crowded, and like everyone else, when it's crowded, it's crowded with morons.

This.

I know your pain. My late husband used to call snowboarders "seals" because he said they looked like seals when they haul out onto buoys, just splayed all over the slope. I'll be cautioning all Divas in Utah about a particular run at Snowbasin that has several cornices over which you should never blindly go unless you have a death wish.

 

[altagirl]

Look farther ahead. The farther your eyes are focusing ahead on where you want to go, the more comfortable you will be with speed. (Try it driving your car - you probably naturally are scanning well ahead when you are on the highway - but take a moment and look at the center line just ahead of you and suddenly the speed feels way too fast and is terrifying - and justifiably so if you aren't looking far enough ahead to have sufficient reaction time). This is also why it can be so nerve wracking to drive in a blizzard - suddenly you can only see a few feet ahead and it makes you scared and stiffen up even if you're driving at a reasonable speed. I've found that if I focus my eyes out ahead (even into the nothingness when you can't see that far), it makes me relax. It's actually quite fascinating.

That said - ski at the speed you are comfortable with, but where your eyes are focused is something to consider, especially if you think that you have the skills and want to feel comfortable going faster. AND likewise, if you just don't really WANT to go that fast, just ski at the pace you enjoy.

Also - totally agree that sometimes it's the skis.

Edited to add: Don't take this as a criticism of your skiing either. We all have heard to look ahead, and you're probably looking far enough ahead for the speed you are comfortable with. Just remember that if you want to increase the speed, you have to increase the distance you are looking ahead as well. And if you've been comfortable at roughly the same speed for a long time it's probably going to take some conscious effort to make that change. The same is true for any sport where speed is involved.

 

[Tra262007]

WOW, This is great! Look at all the answers! I love Ski Divas.

So I just got new Black Pearls and I have gone from a 141 (oceanas 72 under foot I think) to a 152 ski (88 under foot). (Im 5'2 112lbs) The skis have made a difference. They have given me more confidence and stability. I have increased my speed a little more because of the skis.

Another reason I want to ski faster is because I know the more tight turns I do the quicker I get tired.

I will try the looking farther forward trick. I can see that as a possible problem.

I also Think that some of my problem is confidence. When I watch the videos I have of me skiing at the end of last year I am amazed that it is me I am watching. I do not feel like I look that good. When I started skiing I remember looking at people and thinking "they make it look so easy." Now I watch my videos and think I make it look easy most of the time. Why can't I understand that while I am skiing?

You Divas are amazing! Thank you for your help! Im glad to see others are experienced with this situation.

 

[Serafina]

Oh, a Head Trip. Well, if it's any consolation, last year I was taking black diamonds as warm-up runs, and this year, I feel like I couldn't ski my way out of a paper bag. Mr. Serafina thinks I look terrific, but I think those are just the Eyes of Love. I don't feel as fluid as I know I ought to, and my turns aren't the right shape, and all that is shaking my confidence and making me a worse skier, rinse, lather, repeat.

Fortunately, this has happened to me before, so I know exactly how to solve it: it's time to take a lesson.

For me, a good ski lesson doesn't just build my skills (although that also happens) - it builds my confidence. Or restores it. Amazing how much difference just even a single two-hour lesson can make.

 

[pinto]

Some of this is your size, probably. I'm not saying small people can't ski fast, because you should see my 11yo niece, but all things being equal, greater mass creates greater momentum. (Surely we have a physicist or at least a science teacher around here? That is not a very good explanation ...) Of course, your BF could be 110 lb, and so never mind. But I ski with guys a lot, and they definitely get up to speed faster than I do. It's just physics.

("Hey Feather!" @SkiNurse should change her handle....)

 

[marzNC]

WOW, This is great! Look at all the answers! I love Ski Divas.

So I just got new Black Pearls and I have gone from a 141 (oceanas 72 under foot I think) to a 152 ski (88 under foot). (Im 5'2 112lbs) The skis have made a difference. They have given me more confidence and stability. I have increased my speed a little more because of the skis.

Another reason I want to ski faster is because I know the more tight turns I do the quicker I get tired.

I will try the looking farther forward trick. I can see that as a possible problem.

I also Think that some of my problem is confidence. When I watch the videos I have of me skiing at the end of last year I am amazed that it is me I am watching. I do not feel like I look that good. When I started skiing I remember looking at people and thinking "they make it look so easy." Now I watch my videos and think I make it look easy most of the time. Why can't I understand that while I am skiing?

You Divas are amazing! Thank you for your help! Im glad to see others are experienced with this situation.

The longer skis will certainly help. I'm also petite. Certainly notice the difference between low 140s and low 150s in length, regardless of model.

Thinking about it completely differently, how much have you practiced hockey stops? At what speed and on what type of terrain? In both directions?

When my daughter was getting started (ages 4-7) and in ski school on a regular basis, I noticed how early on the instructors encouraged the kids to spray each other (and the instructor) with a quick and controlled hockey stop. Meant my daughter was much more likely to stop using a hockey stop (trying to spray me ) when we were free skiing, then simply slowing down with a pizza or turning uphill. I learned so long ago that doing a hockey stop was second nature, but I was at an intermediate level when I got back into skiing as my daughter learned. What I figured out after a while is that once I was confident that I could do a quick hockey stop at a fast speed, then going faster than before was all fun and no worry.

 

[contesstant]

I am following this thread with great interest! Altagirl, I am going to try looking even FURTHER ahead next time I'm out!
Tra, the Black Pearls are the skis that put me into a totally new speed comfort zone. They are GREAT GREAT skis!

 

[Tra262007]

On New Years day a Diva is meeting up with us at a local hill. It will be interesting to ski with a Diva for a while. Although after hearing her comments in another forum I am pretty sure she is a lot better skier than my myself and most likely better than my BF. I hope we dont bore her!

Perhaps skiing with a Diva will show me that us Divas can shred the slopes!

I will say that this Saturday was my first day of the season and by the end it was by far my best day of skiing ever on my local hills. I skied more tough runs, skied a little faster when I wasnt tired, and never fell. The BF fell 3 times...2 of them lookin back to see where I was at, but still he even yard saled once and I never saw him do that before. Ha Ha

 

[marzNC]

On New Years day a Diva is meeting up with us at a local hill. It will be interesting to ski with a Diva for a while. Although after hearing her comments in another forum I am pretty sure she is a lot better skier than my myself and most likely better than my BF. I hope we dont bore her!

Perhaps skiing with a Diva will show me that us Divas can shred the slopes!

I will say that this Saturday was my first day of the season and by the end it was by far my best day of skiing ever on my local hills. I skied more tough runs, skied a little faster when I wasnt tired, and never fell. The BF fell 3 times...2 of them lookin back to see where I was at, but still he even yard saled once and I never saw him do that before. Ha Ha

Never boring to ski with another Diva. Note that meeting up does not necessarily mean spending the whole day together. On the recent ski trip with SkiSuki, the two of us skied together for a few runs then skied alone, then met up again. When I was done for the day, she kept going until the lifts closed.

I've fallen more often looking back at others in recent years than any other way. Very easy to catch an edge that way. One reason I started learning to ski backwards.

 

[gardenmary]

Some of this is your size, probably. I'm not saying small people can't ski fast, because you should see my 11yo niece, but all things being equal, greater mass creates greater momentum. (Surely we have a physicist or at least a science teacher around here? That is not a very good explanation ...) Of course, your BF could be 110 lb, and so never mind. But I ski with guys a lot, and they definitely get up to speed faster than I do. It's just physics.

I'm no science teacher, but as a bigger girl I can absolutely speak to the mass creates momentum thing. I experimented yesterday with GS turns v. slalom turns - the momentum reached in GS turns, together with the gravitational pull, is considerable. Quick turns can accomplish speed as well but from a different aspect. My late husband was a racer in his youth, and he could beat our DS to the bottom of the hill using strategic slalom turns, while DS was doing GS turns on big mountain skis. DS figured at that point he might learn something from his dad!

 

[gardenmary]

I am following this thread with great interest! Altagirl, I am going to try looking even FURTHER ahead next time I'm out!
Tra, the Black Pearls are the skis that put me into a totally new speed comfort zone. They are GREAT GREAT skis!

Contesstant, I was doing this yesterday - looking further ahead. On the first few runs I realized I was almost looking at my feet! (Of course, once we figured out where that wicked ice sheet was I was confident about looking further ahead.)