• Women skiers, this is the place for you -- an online community without the male-orientation you'll find in conventional ski magazines and internet ski forums. At TheSkiDiva.com, you can connect with other women to talk about skiing in a way that you can relate to, about things that you find of interest. Be sure to join our community to participate (women only, please!). Registration is fast and simple. Just be sure to add webmaster@theskidiva.com to your address book so your registration activation emails won't be routed as spam. And please give careful consideration to your user name -- it will not be changed once your registration is confirmed.

How are you addressed by your children's friends (18+)?

How do your young adult children's close friends address you?

  • Mrs. [last name]

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • Miss/Ms [first name]

    Votes: 1 14.3%
  • Mama [first name or first initial of last name]

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • First name

    Votes: 7 100.0%

  • Total voters
    7

lisamamot

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I think those who say there are regional differences must be right. Hearing anyone called miss or mrs. here would be really strange.

The only people that ever call me sweetie or honey are a couple of female Pilates instructors that are younger than me. I think it's kind of sweet. It's such a different situation than, say, my friend who is a flight attendant on the Seattle-Anchorage run who gets called those names by all the gross old Alaskan men trying to get another drink.

I adopted the Miss/Mr and first name thing for close friends after a colleague used it with her children and I thought it was a nice and more familiar way to address than Mr and Mrs and last name. Regionally it isn't a thing in New England but perhaps her roots were further south? Anyway, it worked for us.

I don't have a problem with the honey or sweetie especially when it is woman to woman; elderly men I generally give a break too because they mean no harm. Now the creepy guy at the gas station that calls me honey all the time? Not so fond of that!
 

RhodySkiBum

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I want to say here, that the use of Darling, Sweetie, Honey, etc. when used by ANYONE outside of my husband will set my back up something fierce. I know there are people who think this is perfectly acceptable for an adult to use when addressing another adult, but I have not been dropped on my head, and I am not a child. So remove it from your vocabulary. It was bad enough when I was in my 30's, 40's, 50's, but now that I'm a "senior" I'm getting it even more often. Really, you risk getting physically assaulted if you call me that, that's how much it winds me up. To me it is the supreme insult.

This. A pet peeve of mine.....I am a nurse, and when i first started working, I noticed a lot of nurses doing this - calling patients "sweetie" or "honey" Why? Are they your sweetie or honey? NO? I think it is condescending and inappropriate

My daughter's friends have always called my by my first name - Brenda. Mrs. ..... sounded so formal, and was my mother in law's name - not mine! However, on the other side - I am 50 now, but still call my Mom's friends Mrs ....., or in certain cases "Auntie Charlotte." It still doesn't seem right to call them by only their first name!
 

marzNC

Angel Diva
The only people that ever call me sweetie or honey . . .
Also depends on what type of restaurant. At least on the east coast. The ladies who are servers at diners from NJ on north call customers "sweetie" or "honey" or "dearie" all the time. Happens in the southeast too. It actually bothers me less now than when I was a young adult. Back then it made me feel like they thought I was still in high school.
 

pinto

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Fascinating conversation. I agree that there are many regional differences ... we have mostly lived in the casual West, but the kids were born in Virginia -- my family hails from the South, but dad's family hailed from New England. We did the Miss ----- thing when they were very young, and then when they were in elementary school, it largely switched to Mr and Mrs Whoever.

I never really liked being called Mrs Brown but I made my kids do it anyway ... and even when adult friends told the kids, "No don't call me Mr Smith, I'm Bob," I didn't agree and made them say Mr Smith. It's not about you, Bob, sorry. I am trying to teach my kids something, don't really care what you think.

That said, it was always different with ski friends. Skiing was always more of a peer relationship for some reason. We would go on ski trips with dad's colleagues, who were internationals and really kinda important business types, but the kids still would call them by first names.

tldr: this post is just to say WHATEVER. lol.
 

lisamamot

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Fascinating conversation. I agree that there are many regional differences ... we have mostly lived in the casual West, but the kids were born in Virginia -- my family hails from the South, but dad's family hailed from New England. We did the Miss ----- thing when they were very young, and then when they were in elementary school, it largely switched to Mr and Mrs Whoever.

I never really liked being called Mrs Brown but I made my kids do it anyway ... and even when adult friends told the kids, "No don't call me Mr Smith, I'm Bob," I didn't agree and made them say Mr Smith. It's not about you, Bob, sorry. I am trying to teach my kids something, don't really care what you think.

That said, it was always different with ski friends. Skiing was always more of a peer relationship for some reason. We would go on ski trips with dad's colleagues, who were internationals and really kinda important business types, but the kids still would call them by first names.

tldr: this post is just to say WHATEVER. lol.
I love your response - pretty much spot on with how we have navigated up to this point.

For some reason my riding instructor where I also cleaned stalls every day for my lessons was addressed by her first name, but my friend's mom who owned the stable was always (and still is) Mrs. and last name to me. My daughter's soccer coaches have varied; her longtime youth coach who was also her friend's dad was and still is Coach and first name, her club coaches were always first name only, and her college coach they all call Coach but I suspect if they introduced her socially it would be by first name. It is fascinating, isn't it?

I am pretty sure I am going to go with my first name when I meet new friends of my kids (who are all 18+); I know they will start out with Mrs. and last name, but I will let them know it is perfectly fine to call me Lisa if they are comfortable with that. I am also going to let the longtime friends know they are welcome to use my first name as well. Then we'll see what they all call me!
 

pinto

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I love your response - pretty much spot on with how we have navigated up to this point.

For some reason my riding instructor where I also cleaned stalls every day for my lessons was addressed by her first name, but my friend's mom who owned the stable was always (and still is) Mrs. and last name to me. My daughter's soccer coaches have varied; her longtime youth coach who was also her friend's dad was and still is Coach and first name, her club coaches were always first name only, and her college coach they all call Coach but I suspect if they introduced her socially it would be by first name. It is fascinating, isn't it?

I am pretty sure I am going to go with my first name when I meet new friends of my kids (who are all 18+); I know they will start out with Mrs. and last name, but I will let them know it is perfectly fine to call me Lisa if they are comfortable with that. I am also going to let the longtime friends know they are welcome to use my first name as well. Then we'll see what they all call me!

Oh, and I didn't even answer the actual question: yes, since they became old enough for college, I just introduce myself by first name. That doesn't seem so tough. Some of the ones I've known since they were little still call me Mrs but not all. Old habits die hard! I have a good friend who must be 52 by now that still calls my dad Mr xxxx! lol
 

MI-skier

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I grew up addressing my friends' parents as Mr/Mrs--So it's a hard habit but I'm ok if the college students call me Laura. The older I get, the more I like first names. LOL.
 

Jenny

Angel Diva
No help here but funny story. We always called adults Mr/Mrs last name. My friend's mom is still Mrs. Campbell. When I graduated college and was at my first job, I called my boss Mr. Snider. He stopped dead in his tracks and said, "No, I’m Bill." I said, "OK Mr. Snider." Took a while to feel right calling "grown ups" by their first base, lol.

As for the in-laws, for quite a while I didn't call them anything (we got married right after graduation, so see above for adults and first names) then graduated to calling them by the first names. To this day my mother still thinks she was being helpful when she told them I didn’t know what to call them. I did, just couldn’t quite get it out. Mom/dad never an option.
 

pinto

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
...As for the in-laws, for quite a while I didn't call them anything (we got married right after graduation, so see above for adults and first names) then graduated to calling them by the first names. To this day my mother still thinks she was being helpful when she told them I didn’t know what to call them. I did, just couldn’t quite get it out. Mom/dad never an option.

For sure. My mil was quite a bit older than my own mother, which made it a little weirder. And I met her when I was 22? 23? Not very old. I just avoided calling her anything for a long time, then finally was able to use her first name. Great lady, RIP.
 

newboots

Angel Diva
The 20-something saleswoman at the Toyota dealership called me “dear” throughout our lengthy transaction. I’m old enough to be her mother and then some, and I found it extremely irritating.

She might have even been 19. By the end I wanted to sleep her.

In general around here, informality seems to rule. At the hospital where I work, all our name tags have first names in bold print (last names smaller). Yep, even the docs. I’ve learned that no matter how much I say “call me Anne,” some clients still prefer “Dr. P.”
 

SquidWeaselYay

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I always called my friends' parents Mr./Mrs. Last Name unless they insisted upon it being otherwise. And when they did, it felt weird to me to call them by their first names.

I work with kids for a living at a social skills program, and the kids just call the staff Ms. First Name, which I think is pretty cool. It is respectful, but not overly formal. Might be weird to use that for a friend's parent, now that I think about it though.
 

lisamamot

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I work with kids for a living at a social skills program, and the kids just call the staff Ms. First Name, which I think is pretty cool. It is respectful, but not overly formal. Might be weird to use that for a friend's parent, now that I think about it though.

That is exactly why I used it with family friends when my kids were very small - respectful but more familiar. My children (who are 18) still address many of our family friends in that manner but they have known them since pre-K. I absolutely agree it would be odd to have them start using it with new people at this point...they default to Mr and Mrs last name and then transition to first names if that is offered.
 

2ski2moro

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I've always been Vicki to the neighborhood kids, except for a few families who prefer that their kids call adults. Mr./Mrs. The southern crew always calls me Miss Vicki or Aunt Vic.

As I was a child, I always referred to my parents' friends as Mr. or Mrs. The parents of my friends were always Mr. or Mrs.

As my parents aged, however, I found myself calling their new friends by their first names, (Ginny, Bill, Marge), but their old friends Mr/Mrs. Can't break the habit.
 

MI-skier

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Well on the flip side of inlaws...my MIL just ignores me. Actually sent Christmas cards to my husband/her son with the envelope and card addressed just to "Joe" and then a card to everyone in our household; two granddaughters and MY Dad who lives with us. IMG_20181218_083302562.jpg
 

Littlesonique

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
At my kids school, all the teachers go by Mr or Ms First Name, so all of my kids friends call me Ms Laura or Laura.

I'm fine with some people calling me honey, sweetie or darlin as they address everyone that way. It only creeps me out when it's a guy trying to pick me up. :help:
 

MilkyWookiee

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I don't have kids, but on the flip side of the discussion, I am 24 and was raised on Me and Mrs last name, regardless of whether they said they prefer first name or not. For close family friends it was aunt and uncle first name, and I still refer to them as such.
I insist on calling my boyfriend's parents Mr and Ms but call his future step mom by her first name, and I call his aunt's and uncle's aunt and uncle first name. I call his grandmother Grammy. My logic is mom/dad/aunt/uncle etc are terms of respect just like mr and ms, and I respect his family as if they were my own. I asked him to call my parents Mr and Mrs as well and it's never been an issue (though he could definitely get down with calling them mom and dad, and at least my mom would probably love it).
For Friends I've known since childhood, I still call their parents Mr and Mrs. I have 2 girlfriends now who are cousins and I actually call their parents aunt and uncle first name, but they just call my parents by their first names and they don't mind.
 

Staff online

Members Online



Top