Hi! I'm obsessed with skiing and this weekend I'm taking my girlfriend to learn how to ski (we're a queer couple, I'm also a woman). She's in her mid twenties and has never skied or snowboarded before. I have an IKON pass and a ski lease at Palisades so I bought her the palisades perfect progression plan, which gives you 3 half day lessons and then a Palisades pass upon completion. I know it's always a bad time to try and teach a partner how to ski, hence the lessons, but I was wondering if anyone else had experience learning to ski as an adult and had some thing that helped them have fun and embrace the sport? I kind of think I should find her a friend who's also learning so they can cheer each other on, since me and the other folks in my lease have all been skiing since childhood. I also want to help her outside of the lessons but don't have experience teaching anyone to ski, so if anyone has done that I'd appreciate advice there too.
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Help getting a new skier into the sport?
- Thread starter Saraski
- Start date
Christy
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
That is exactly what I did, in my mid 30s--a series of 3 half day lessons (at Snoqualmie Summit in WA) then a discounted pass. It was a great way to learn. I think having the house share is going to be a big thing that will help someone get into the sport; having the hassle of a long commute to the mountain is a buzzkill, and if you are hanging out with a fun bunch of friends, I'm not sure it gets better than that.
I would only offer tips outside lessons if she asks. My husband was scarred by trying to teach his ex to golf--he came away realizing you should never try to teach anyone who is comfortable telling you to F--- off. So even when I ask, trying to get tips out of him is like pulling teeth, and really I think that's for the best. He'd maybe start and end the day with me on easier slopes; actually we still do that to some degree, as he'll always be better than me, and I prefer to ski on my own and do what I want to do while he goes and skis harder stuff than I like.
Anyway, I'd let her do the lessons then see what she wants to do. Maybe she'll want to keep signing up for other group lessons, maybe she'll want to practice on her own, maybe she'll make a friend in the group to ski with, maybe she'll hate it and won't do it again, maybe she'll still be happy coming up to Palisades with you and will do other stuff while you ski. Who knows. I wouldn't stress about finding her friends or what not at this point.
I would only offer tips outside lessons if she asks. My husband was scarred by trying to teach his ex to golf--he came away realizing you should never try to teach anyone who is comfortable telling you to F--- off. So even when I ask, trying to get tips out of him is like pulling teeth, and really I think that's for the best. He'd maybe start and end the day with me on easier slopes; actually we still do that to some degree, as he'll always be better than me, and I prefer to ski on my own and do what I want to do while he goes and skis harder stuff than I like.
Anyway, I'd let her do the lessons then see what she wants to do. Maybe she'll want to keep signing up for other group lessons, maybe she'll want to practice on her own, maybe she'll make a friend in the group to ski with, maybe she'll hate it and won't do it again, maybe she'll still be happy coming up to Palisades with you and will do other stuff while you ski. Who knows. I wouldn't stress about finding her friends or what not at this point.
First (mod hat on) we are not judgy here. You're in a safe place.
Great idea on this plan. Wish more places did that. Believe it or not, skier numbers are down in general. Retention is an issue.
As for "helping" outside of lessons, unless you are an instructor, just be supportive. Don't push her to runs she might not be ready for. Just ski with her. If she does run into difficulty help her with her path (line) down the hill. Big turns back up hill etc.
And both of you have fun!!
Great idea on this plan. Wish more places did that. Believe it or not, skier numbers are down in general. Retention is an issue.
As for "helping" outside of lessons, unless you are an instructor, just be supportive. Don't push her to runs she might not be ready for. Just ski with her. If she does run into difficulty help her with her path (line) down the hill. Big turns back up hill etc.
And both of you have fun!!
RandomSkier
Certified Ski Diva
Focus on the *other* aspects of what make a ski trip fun. Be excited for the scenery and winter wonderland, those midday nachos, the hot tub, a nice dinner out, a little apres, or maybe some screen free evening boardgames to connect. Maybe head in early one day and splurge on a spa.
The point is, it is your attitude that is going to make the most difference in getting her to enjoy the experience. Even if skiing was super hard and frustrating, being empathetic, being able to laugh about it, a positive perspective, cheering her on, and having something else to look forward to on the trip will help smooth things over. And if the trip together was fun regardless of skiing, she is going to be motivated to go back and try again. She will either like skiing or she won't. Can't force it. But you *can* make good memories together.
The point is, it is your attitude that is going to make the most difference in getting her to enjoy the experience. Even if skiing was super hard and frustrating, being empathetic, being able to laugh about it, a positive perspective, cheering her on, and having something else to look forward to on the trip will help smooth things over. And if the trip together was fun regardless of skiing, she is going to be motivated to go back and try again. She will either like skiing or she won't. Can't force it. But you *can* make good memories together.
floatingyardsale
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
How fun! You're starting off right by getting her lessons. By happenstance there were a number of people trying to to teach their partners how to ski this past weekend, and some were good skiers, but almost no one was good at teaching. ("Bend at the waist!")
Be prepared for it not to be her groove. But to minimize the chance of that happening: let her set the pace. One thing I see a lot just people watching is couples where one person clearly wants to go down a challenging run, and the other is hanging on for dear life behind. If she comes out of lessons wanting to ski greens, that's what you do. While she's in lessons you can hit the harder stuff.
If it works for her, have her follow you while you make big loopy turns. That works for a lot of people.
Be prepared for it not to be her groove. But to minimize the chance of that happening: let her set the pace. One thing I see a lot just people watching is couples where one person clearly wants to go down a challenging run, and the other is hanging on for dear life behind. If she comes out of lessons wanting to ski greens, that's what you do. While she's in lessons you can hit the harder stuff.
If it works for her, have her follow you while you make big loopy turns. That works for a lot of people.
I've been there and my tips include:
- if you ski together, make sure not to get over-enthusiastic and take her in terrain beyond her abilities.
- ski behind her so if something happens you can make sure she's ok. Much easier than being ahead and having to get back uphill in case of a fall, dropping a ski or a pole, etc.
- if you are on a run where the conditions are less optimal than expected, you might want to go slightly ahead to scout the terrain and find the easiest line. That said, that's also where you might want to be behind her. Could never solve that one!
- if you ski together, make sure not to get over-enthusiastic and take her in terrain beyond her abilities.
- ski behind her so if something happens you can make sure she's ok. Much easier than being ahead and having to get back uphill in case of a fall, dropping a ski or a pole, etc.
- if you are on a run where the conditions are less optimal than expected, you might want to go slightly ahead to scout the terrain and find the easiest line. That said, that's also where you might want to be behind her. Could never solve that one!
Eera
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Be mindful of how knackering skiing is when you're not hardened to it and she's going to be feeling it: I absolutely hate it when my partner gets all sad-face because I want to have a morning to chill rather than be out there every second.
But I love watching people who are really skilled and dreaming I'll look like that one day (though I've accepted I'll always look like I'm made of lego when I'm skiing). Their enthusiasm might rub off if there's a chance to people-watch.
But I love watching people who are really skilled and dreaming I'll look like that one day (though I've accepted I'll always look like I'm made of lego when I'm skiing). Their enthusiasm might rub off if there's a chance to people-watch.
scandium
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
- Don't over terrain her, let her choose what to ski when you ski together
- Enjoy the resort facilities, have breaks (coffee! lunch! afternoon snacks!)
- don't help outside lessons unless specifically asked and you understand her learning style, that way just leads to arguments and booking another lesson to clear up what you were trying to convey. Even instuctors often choose not to teach family and there is a reason for this!!
- learn a new high-consequence sport yourself to appreciate how hard it is as an adult (unless you are naturally sporty, it is HARD)
- Enjoy the resort facilities, have breaks (coffee! lunch! afternoon snacks!)
- don't help outside lessons unless specifically asked and you understand her learning style, that way just leads to arguments and booking another lesson to clear up what you were trying to convey. Even instuctors often choose not to teach family and there is a reason for this!!
- learn a new high-consequence sport yourself to appreciate how hard it is as an adult (unless you are naturally sporty, it is HARD)
brooksnow
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
You could ask her instructor what trails they recommend, and what trails would be next.
I usually point out the next couple challenges: "When this trail is very easy for you, you can turn and stop reliably on the steeper sections (note even beginner slopes have steeper sections) and are completely confident, the next step is xxx."
Another reason to ski behind is it is really hard to ski at the speed of a beginner when you're not one. You don't want her to feel like she should keep up with you.
I absolutely agree with this. Have you snowboarded? If not, consider doing a learn to ride lesson while your girlfriend learns to ski.
Oh gosh, I’ve had a new sprain/strain every few weeks for the past few months it seems, I think she’ll be more mad at me if my ass gets injured again. I tried snowboarding a few days as a kid and I don’t think it plays nicely with “recovering sprained wrist”
Love this thread for all the support. It’s been a long time since I skied palisades and this may be obvious, but make sure you take the funitel down at the end of the day rather than having her deal with the disaster that is mountain run at the end of the day - so hard for beginners.
Having been the total newbie learning spouse of a lifelong skier 8 short years ago, I will say yes to ski behind her, unless she aks you to set a line for her, but also not tooooo close behind her! Lol. When you are new, the sound of someone skiing right behind you can be so disconcerting (I now have to remind myself of the same thing when skiing behind my kid.)
Celebrate every little win along her learning journey. It's badass and brave to learn a new skill like skiing.
Wishing you a lovely ski journey together. May it become a shared passion for you both.
ChilliHeeler
Certified Ski Diva
Hi. Adult beginner here too. My first couple of ski experiences were with my spouse, actually, and it went great, because he is insanely patient, but I was absolutely never going to really learn how to ski with him helping me. When I decided I wanted to learn, I took lessons, and now, my third season in, I love skiing SO much, am so happy to have a family outdoor activity we can do together, and I still take lessons. Maybe your girlfriend will super love this new activity, and I think you should encourage her to continue to take lessons to help her love it even more.
KathrynC
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I learnt to ski as an adult in my easrly 30s.
I went on holiday to Europe with my partner and his family (I'm in the UK). During the week we were there, I had 4 half-day lessons, and then I would spend the rest of the time skiing with my partner and his family.
My partner at the time (we're no longer together) was kind of impatient and his expectations were somewhat unrealistic. He would disappointed that I still wasn't fully parallel at the end of that week (I could make parallel turns, but tended to revert to stemming turns when I was nervous), that I was still getting nervous on steeper sections of blues and that I didn't really want to get on reds (roughly hard blue or easy black diamon), and he was also made it clear that he thought I was too slow. If I had been there to try "his" sport, I probably would have given up, but I also wanted to learn to ski for myself too, so I stuck at it.
His family, on the other hand, were great. They would take time to ski with me on easier runs, to let me go at my own pace, and to encourage me. His brother would sometimes just slow down and let me follow his path when I was nervous, which was a much better approach for me than trying to give me tips.
Most of the advice given here fits well with my experience - be patient, let your girlfriend choose her own pace and don't try to teach her. When you're out with her, focus on fun rather than objectives, and only give tips if they are asked for.
I also wanted to say that saying "don't take her into difficult terrain" sounds obvious, but it does sometimes happen through misjudgement (as you said, all greens look flat when you get more advanced, or she may misjudge something through inexperience). In those situations, it was always important to me to retain my autonomy. I'm ok with people giving suggestions, e.g., to suggest that a particular line might be easier, but ultimately making decisions about how to proceed for myself helped me to feel more in control.
I went on holiday to Europe with my partner and his family (I'm in the UK). During the week we were there, I had 4 half-day lessons, and then I would spend the rest of the time skiing with my partner and his family.
My partner at the time (we're no longer together) was kind of impatient and his expectations were somewhat unrealistic. He would disappointed that I still wasn't fully parallel at the end of that week (I could make parallel turns, but tended to revert to stemming turns when I was nervous), that I was still getting nervous on steeper sections of blues and that I didn't really want to get on reds (roughly hard blue or easy black diamon), and he was also made it clear that he thought I was too slow. If I had been there to try "his" sport, I probably would have given up, but I also wanted to learn to ski for myself too, so I stuck at it.
His family, on the other hand, were great. They would take time to ski with me on easier runs, to let me go at my own pace, and to encourage me. His brother would sometimes just slow down and let me follow his path when I was nervous, which was a much better approach for me than trying to give me tips.
Most of the advice given here fits well with my experience - be patient, let your girlfriend choose her own pace and don't try to teach her. When you're out with her, focus on fun rather than objectives, and only give tips if they are asked for.
I also wanted to say that saying "don't take her into difficult terrain" sounds obvious, but it does sometimes happen through misjudgement (as you said, all greens look flat when you get more advanced, or she may misjudge something through inexperience). In those situations, it was always important to me to retain my autonomy. I'm ok with people giving suggestions, e.g., to suggest that a particular line might be easier, but ultimately making decisions about how to proceed for myself helped me to feel more in control.
Make it fun, supporting words, and don’t over terrain. I learned to ski at 47, now three years in, with an expert level partner who has raced, taught and skied since the womb (essentially).
It took us two seasons to find our groove on the mountain, what I want and need, how he can be supportive while also understanding what it’s like to be an adult learner.
We now have a little chat before we start our ski day, talk about what I’m looking to do, learn and what I want or need from him or if I just want to ski. Sometimes we play a fun little game called “follow the leader” and he skies slow and makes tracks for me to follow!
This season has been amazing together, lots of fun (after a few tears the last couple seasons).
Just back from Utah and skied blacks, some
Double blacks, a few bowls and we had the best time! Patience is key.
It took us two seasons to find our groove on the mountain, what I want and need, how he can be supportive while also understanding what it’s like to be an adult learner.
We now have a little chat before we start our ski day, talk about what I’m looking to do, learn and what I want or need from him or if I just want to ski. Sometimes we play a fun little game called “follow the leader” and he skies slow and makes tracks for me to follow!
This season has been amazing together, lots of fun (after a few tears the last couple seasons).
Just back from Utah and skied blacks, some
Double blacks, a few bowls and we had the best time! Patience is key.
Don’t need to tell me twice mountain run scares ME
