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Has skiing helped or hurt your marriage?
- Thread starter ski diva
- Start date
KarenD
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
It's helped, definitely. I didn't take to whitewater kayaking or mountain biking (though I might give that another go--surely I can't bleed and/or get a black eye every time!), so skiing is the only sport we spend time enjoying together. (Though early on, when I was sitting and sobbing on the side of a slope at Beaver Creek, there were some doubts about the skiing, too.)
We've been doing married skiing since 1974. Skiing is so much a part of our lives that a long time ago our dream was to live next to a ski area-- now own a place in Salt Lake 15 minutes from Alta/Snowbird and spend 12 weeks of the season there (soon to be 6 months). So many of my husband's male clients and friends tell him they are jealous that he has a wife who loves to ski. We are both lucky to have each other!
I married my DH in July 2004 after we were a couple for 3 years. We started skiing and snowboarding in December 2004 and got the kids involved the following season. It's been amazing for our marriage. We are apart so often due to our work schedules and are often busy with the kids. Snow sports are the only activity we consistently do together away from home. I can't imagine my life, or winter, without it. Or without him. But that's another thread. 
MaineSkiLady
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I'm another one with a marriage completely resulting from skiing. In fact, he was my ski instructor! 
Took me a few seasons to get "up to speed," but what I previously lacked in skill, I had in enthusiasm.
It's the bottom-line foundation of our marriage...although after this many years (1 year behind plainjane!), there have been phases when one or both of us just couldn't ski (business travel, injury, surgery) -- and we get by. But oh my, we certainly are happiest when we're skiing...together!
Took me a few seasons to get "up to speed," but what I previously lacked in skill, I had in enthusiasm.
It's the bottom-line foundation of our marriage...although after this many years (1 year behind plainjane!), there have been phases when one or both of us just couldn't ski (business travel, injury, surgery) -- and we get by. But oh my, we certainly are happiest when we're skiing...together!
Daria
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Overall, I would say it has helped but there have been times when we were at odds because I was more obsessed with capturing every minute of every day on the slopes. Season passes helped alot because that took the time pressure off and I relaxed a bit. Also, a couple of years back, one of his work buddies who is an extreme skier skied with us one day at Squaw and the buddie was so impressed with my willingness to do anything (unlike his spouse) that my DH had and still has a new appreciation for his intense wife (being me 
)
Skiing has given us a common interest which is so important IMHO
)Skiing has given us a common interest which is so important IMHO
RuthB
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
definitely helped here. I did make it clear to him when we met that skiing was a non-negotiable. He was fine with that as he was a skier too. We put that to the test the season following when we met and it was a good learning experience for both of us, and a bit of a culture shock! I learnt to ski as a child and had lessons from day one, and would do a clinic or something most seasons. DH was self taught on a "need to know" basis. I also learnt that DH didn't do budget accomodation! But the biggest shock for Dh was on day two of the holiday when I bounced out of bed in the morning of the second day to go skiing - and he realised that a ski holiday for me meant just that - skiing every day!
But he grew to like skiing as much as me, although we still had the tension at times of the places that i wanted to go, he didn't want to follow, and ocassionally I was guilty of forgetting that he was following and taking him places neither of us wanted him to go - think him traversing across a steep slope for ever and me yelling at him to get over it and turn. Fast forward a few years and he was so keen on skiing he was keen to have a ski holiday in Canada (which was followed by two more and only stopped by getting pregnant). Not only was it a success, but I gave him a christmas present he patently didn't want - a ski week - good thing was that there were so few of us that we ended up in the same group - his skiing totally took off and now he will go anywhere - another ski friend did describe him as a "series one landrover" meaning that he was solid, dependable, would go anywhere, but not always fast or stylish - he took it as the compliment it was meant as.
Now he is the one that is suggesting that we take our five year old son to Canada or Japan to ski in our summer holidays!
It'd great to have a common interest that is pretty global, no problems deciding where to go and what to do for holidays.
But he grew to like skiing as much as me, although we still had the tension at times of the places that i wanted to go, he didn't want to follow, and ocassionally I was guilty of forgetting that he was following and taking him places neither of us wanted him to go - think him traversing across a steep slope for ever and me yelling at him to get over it and turn. Fast forward a few years and he was so keen on skiing he was keen to have a ski holiday in Canada (which was followed by two more and only stopped by getting pregnant). Not only was it a success, but I gave him a christmas present he patently didn't want - a ski week - good thing was that there were so few of us that we ended up in the same group - his skiing totally took off and now he will go anywhere - another ski friend did describe him as a "series one landrover" meaning that he was solid, dependable, would go anywhere, but not always fast or stylish - he took it as the compliment it was meant as.
Now he is the one that is suggesting that we take our five year old son to Canada or Japan to ski in our summer holidays!
It'd great to have a common interest that is pretty global, no problems deciding where to go and what to do for holidays.
Nice Bump SkiDiva!
I read through this thread again and had to smile a bit about where I was, and where I'm going in regards to skiing and my marriage.
Since posting the above message, I have done more than just a few ski clinics. My ski skills have taken a big step forward, while my "lesson phobic" husband has been trying to keep up.
A huge positive thing that has come out of skiing is that I made it clear that I was going to go on ski trips and he could choose to go with me or be left in the dust.......he goes with me !
SkiSpirit, When we took our last vacation to Colorado one of my husbands friends (John) who helped him teach me to ski 20+ years ago, said to Mr SH,...
"Terry, it feels kinda weird that our student has surpassed the teacher, doesn't it?"
Mr SH didn't say much. I think it kinda bugs him but he doesn't want so say it.
dloveski
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
skiing has been so much a part of our lives for so long, that I don't know. The role skiing has played has differed depending on the phase of life we were/are in.
Phase I---early years. It has helped, esp. in the early years b.k. before kids, when we skied everywhere and even some b/c touring in the early 70's. Then, a.k. after kids when we skied as a family.
Phase II---work, graduate school, kid-raising, budget crunching years when kids preferred to ride the bus and ski with friends, we went not so often, keeping the kids in equipment.
Phase III---now I call myself a ski bum with a work problem. Skiing has caused some conflict in recent years as I am making up for some of the years I couldn't ski as much and he is either busy or just not that into it anymore.
Like many native Salt Lakers, DH started skiing at a very young age and just got over it after the kids grew up. So, to make up for his curbed enthusiasm, I became a ski host!!!! One year, even at two resorts!!!! Always ski buddies. And DH skis free when he wants to go up!!!
My DH tells others, 'my wife skis enough for both of us'.
But what's interesting, because he started skiing so young, even when he goes up only a few times a year, he skis pretty well without trying.
Phase I---early years. It has helped, esp. in the early years b.k. before kids, when we skied everywhere and even some b/c touring in the early 70's. Then, a.k. after kids when we skied as a family.
Phase II---work, graduate school, kid-raising, budget crunching years when kids preferred to ride the bus and ski with friends, we went not so often, keeping the kids in equipment.
Phase III---now I call myself a ski bum with a work problem. Skiing has caused some conflict in recent years as I am making up for some of the years I couldn't ski as much and he is either busy or just not that into it anymore.
Like many native Salt Lakers, DH started skiing at a very young age and just got over it after the kids grew up. So, to make up for his curbed enthusiasm, I became a ski host!!!! One year, even at two resorts!!!! Always ski buddies. And DH skis free when he wants to go up!!!
My DH tells others, 'my wife skis enough for both of us'.
But what's interesting, because he started skiing so young, even when he goes up only a few times a year, he skis pretty well without trying.
Skiing has definitely added a unifying element to our marriage. My husband grew up in a family with an athletic edge. He was skiing as a boy, then became focused on ice hockey primarily. I was a singer; and developed a comfort with the indoors.
When we got together he was no longer skiing and was really too busy to get involved with any sport in particular but was always active. One winter he decided to return to the slopes. I went with him to shop for boots and skis, and was merely intrigued but had no intentions of going skiing with him. For two seasons he would go by himself or with his kids. I loved that he was doing this! It filled needs in his life that he may not have realized were there. Skiing may have given him back a challenge and achievements he'd neglected while raising a family. ( I am a second wife.) I joined him in the sport a few years ago. I'd say that skiing has created new bonds. We love to talk and dream of future trips, equipment, watch videos, etc. And I am exercising more with a focus on skiing. Can't beat that!
When we got together he was no longer skiing and was really too busy to get involved with any sport in particular but was always active. One winter he decided to return to the slopes. I went with him to shop for boots and skis, and was merely intrigued but had no intentions of going skiing with him. For two seasons he would go by himself or with his kids. I loved that he was doing this! It filled needs in his life that he may not have realized were there. Skiing may have given him back a challenge and achievements he'd neglected while raising a family. ( I am a second wife.) I joined him in the sport a few years ago. I'd say that skiing has created new bonds. We love to talk and dream of future trips, equipment, watch videos, etc. And I am exercising more with a focus on skiing. Can't beat that!
SkiBam
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Like Dloveski's DH, mine isn't much into skiing any more. Actually, not at all. And skiing is how we met, back in 1971. He's Swiss, grew up on skis and was a fabulous skier. But now health problems (not to mention just lack of interest) means he's not keen at all. However, I've made it very clear that skiing is VERY important to me - and fortunately he accepts that. I had so many years when kids were young, when I had to work a lot, etc. etc. and couldn't ski much that I'm making up for it now in my "golden" years. And loving it more than ever. So, DH is used to me heading out most winter mornings and returning late afternoon - and most often he has dinner made. He may think I'm a little bit nuts, but is also proud of the fact I became an instructor. So, while it would be nice if we could ski together, it ain't gonna happen - but no complaints.
cinnabon
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
It used to help when I was married - something we did together, and maybe even part of the reason we stayed together longer than we should have...
Oh, and since we split up he has barely skied (he is involved with someone who doesn't), and I have gone more than I ever did when we were together. So I guess it was always more of a priority for me.
Oh, and since we split up he has barely skied (he is involved with someone who doesn't), and I have gone more than I ever did when we were together. So I guess it was always more of a priority for me.
gr8outdoors
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Skiing has helped my marriage and our family. I only go to the slopes with my husband and son (not that I wouldn't go alone, but don't need to). Even our instructor has commented on how nice it is to watch my family skiing together. My husband was a good skier as a teenager. I liked to ski, although it only happened when I was visiting my grandparents (4 hours away) during ski season because I could ski there for free (Grandpa worked at the ski area) and was not very good. When my son was 4, my husband asked if I wanted to try skiing again. The three of us have been skiing together since then - who knew we would all become so obsessed with it!
Skiing is one of a few activities my husband and I both really enjoy!
Skiing is one of a few activities my husband and I both really enjoy!
Pandita
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I think that skiing has definitely helped or marriage When we were dating we talked about having an activity that we could do together... it ended up being skiing. Sheena got me back in to skiing so one winter day in Feb 2006, we got my husband into ski boots and to the lesson area for his very first ski lesson at age 36. I remember he could only turn left. Sheena and Mr. Sheena and myself wanted him to get up on the chairlift and ski down the double green at the top. It took a very long time but we got him down. He wasn't completely convinced after the first day but said he wanted to try again. Flashforward three years, he now is planning places to go this winter for skiing, h=we even have been getting season passes. I am more into skiing then he is so he now wants to ski apart so I can do more challenging stuff and he can do his blues and greens and practice. He now has progressed to doing a few runs down the blacks at 7 springs though. It has definitely been a plus for our marriage and we have our activity now.
sdskiqueen
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Helped - Skiing was one of the attractions for booth of us. We met in San Diego, CA where you just don't meet many people who ski so it was a "selling point" for both of us. He's my ski buddy and although some weekends I have to push and prod him to get off his lazy butt and ski, he admits that it's always fun and if I didn't we definitely wouldn't get as many ski days in as we have this year.
Ski Spirit
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Nice Bump SkiDiva!
I read through this thread again and had to smile a bit about where I was, and where I'm going in regards to skiing and my marriage.
Since posting the above message, I have done more than just a few ski clinics. My ski skills have taken a big step forward, while my "lesson phobic" husband has been trying to keep up.
A huge positive thing that has come out of skiing is that I made it clear that I was going to go on ski trips and he could choose to go with me or be left in the dust.......he goes with me !
SkiSpirit, When we took our last vacation to Colorado one of my husbands friends (John) who helped him teach me to ski 20+ years ago, said to Mr SH,...
"Terry, it feels kinda weird that our student has surpassed the teacher, doesn't it?"
Mr SH didn't say much. I think it kinda bugs him but he doesn't want so say it.
Hmmm, I go on ski trips but Mr. SS doesn't come with me (most times he can't get away...). I haven't surpassed his natural ski abilities but I can ski a lot more trails with him now--which is nice. We can talk about skiing and he even asks me technical questions some times (how well I answer...who knows).
Overall, I think skiing has helped our marriage. He understands how much I love it and I understand he likes it but doesn't want to spend the same amount of time at it. Its really nice when we get to ski together.
Its also nice just to spend time together not skiing sometimes.
