Has skiing helped or hurt your marriage?

[ski diva]

This has been an on-going thread over at EpicSki, so I thought I'd steal a page from their book and post it here.

What do you think -- has skiing helped or hurt your marriage?

For me, I'd have to say "helped." My husband is my favorite skiing buddy, and skiing provides us a shared interest, and allows us to spend some great quality time together. I have to say I'm more into it than he is, but he's pretty okay with that.

How about you?

 

[sibhusky]

I'd like to say it helped, because it WOULD help if he WOULD ski. But he rarely does and so I think that has hurt. I'm the one who started him skiing, but really he doesn't like to get out of bed on the weekend, so I was always cajoling him. Then he'd get there and thank me, but in the last 10 years he's had a number of injuries and the cajoling is really too much work anymore.

I guess because of that, I hang out with a lot of different men when I ski. Not entirely a bad thing, I guess. I get variety without breaking my marriage vows?

 

[RachelV]

Definitely helped. We got into skiing together, and I ski with him more than anyone else. In the summer I'm always bothering him to leave the apartment, go on bike rides, go to the park, whatever - but in the winter we ski pretty much every weekend.

 

[abc]

But this is a self-selected group!

If skiing ended up hurting their marriage (that are otherwise sound), they wouldn't been hanging around here any more. They would have been busy doing whatever it takes to save their marriage instead of skiing!

If, on the other hand, a marriage is already cracking at the seams and skiing merely exposed the crack, then skiing really isn't "hurting the marriage", is it?

 

[tradygirl]

Since we've been skiing together since we met, it's never been any issue. But since we started backcountry skiing together....it's like nothing I've ever experienced in a relationship. It's similar to being climbing partners - your life is in their hands and it's such a great feeling. You get to go to these amazing places together and experience epic moments together. Your trust in each other reaches a whole new level.

So yeah, I'd say it helped my marriage, not that it was ever anything less than great!

 

[ski diva]

But this is a self-selected group!

If skiing ended up hurting their marriage (that are otherwise sound), they wouldn't been hanging around here any more. They would have been busy doing whatever it takes to save their marriage instead of skiing!

If, on the other hand, a marriage is already cracking at the seams and skiing merely exposed the crack, then skiing really isn't "hurting the marriage", is it?

I think it's interesting that in the thread over on EpicSki, some people (read men) seem to have nothing but conflicts with their spouses over skiing. They want to ski, but their wives want them to do other things and hate it when they take the time/money to do it alone. So I guess my question is, is it different over here in reverse? Or do all the husbands over here take great pleasure in skiing with their wives and is everything hunky dory when they do?

 

[OzSki]

Hmm think I'll go with both...
I love skiing with the boy but he gets cranky when he can't keep up. Especially when I don't realise he is trying to follow where I'm going like the other day down through a narrow chopped up section off the main groomed trail. He followed fell, gear everywhere, apparently that is my fault :-) Helped us communicate now he tells me if he plans to follow

 

[abc]

some people (read men) seem to have nothing but conflicts with their spouses over skiing. They want to ski, but their wives want them to do other things and hate it when they take the time/money to do it alone.

I think men on average are poor communicators. So they want to go skiing? They just go skiing! Without bothering to explain to their wives what skiing meant to them or why it's so important to be worth the moeny spend.

And then, there are the childish side of (some) men, who will go skiing even if it means they come home to an empty house AND a divorce paper.

Or do all the husbands over here take great pleasure in skiing with their wives

I should wait for other divas to answer that. But I can't resist in guessing that is indeed the case.

 

[Ski Spirit]

I only started skiing because my husband begged me to try it. Then I became a fanatic...which must have come as a surprise. I'm totally enthusiastic about getting up at 3AM to go skiing and he is more interested in relaxing at times....so I am more driven. He does like to ski...just not as addicted as me I suppose.

I do go skiing without him and he can feel a little neglected during ski season but I explain how I feel about it and I know he understands at this point. So, I just try to make sure he clearly understands how important he is to me and he puts up with it.

His latest comment was interesting though....if you take a lot of lessons without me, you might become a better skier than me (???).
Not likely as I didn't grow up playing football, ice hockey, climbing, etc. etc. It would be nice though to ski the same trails with him though!!

 

[SnowHot]

Definitely helped!
The nature of our business keeps us busy and going in different directions during the summer. Couple that with the fact that we have different summer interests -
Me- Biking, Golf
Him - Dirtbiking
US - Waterskiing

In the winter, our business slows down, we snow plow in the night and go skiing when the fresh snow is at its best. We tend to reconnect, and decompress during the ski season.

 

[Native Vail Gal]

Can I get back to you on this?:D

 

[Quiver Queen]

Heck, if it weren't for skiing I'd never have met my sweetie, let alone gotten married! We met @ Sugarbush on the run called "Domino", introduced by a mutual friend, and dominoes were the theme of our wedding reception. In this case, "going downhill from there" is a good thing!

 

[altagirl]

Heck, if it weren't for skiing I'd never have met my sweetie, let alone gotten married! We met @ Sugarbush on the run called "Domino", introduced by a mutual friend, and dominoes were the theme of our wedding reception. In this case, "going downhill from there" is a good thing!

Same here - we met on a ski trip, and I had just broken up with a guy who kept telling me he loved to ski but then bailing out of every opportunity to go and when we finally went he "didn't feel like skiing" so I skied alone. The guy before that sucked at skiing and I attempted to teach him... that was less than fun. When I finally met someone as passionate about skiing as I was and am, it was perfect!

So yeah, I'd say my marriage certainly wouldn't exist without skiing.

 

[volklgirl]

Definitely helped!

When I met hubby, he was all set to move back to Hawaii (Navy-stationed there for 9yrs) and he hated winter. Our first winter, I skied a couple of times with my Mom, but that was it. On Valentine's weekend, we got a Jacuzzi room for the weekend, just a few miles from 2 of my favorite ski areas so I took him out there so he could watch some people ski. He decided he'd like to learn and I told him I'd get someone to teach him besides me. He decided he wanted me to teach him (divorce in the first year????).

Of course he picked it up right away . Now he even goes without me on his days off if I'm working, and we're best skiing buddies when we're together.
He now also regularly beats me on the race course .

 

[Kiragirl]

Interesting topic.... I think my marriage helped my skiing... (long story short):

My soon-to-be-ex-husband cannot ski and is pretty much a lazy mama's boy. I've skiied forever then did not ski much during marriage. After leaving him I started skiing again and am HAVING A GREAT TIME ! Meeting great, fun and friendly people who like to do the same thing, both couples and singles. I'm so glad it snowed in April '07...I skiied from then til almost end of May. I plan on continuing again in Nov (?) or December.

Ah, glad to get that off my chest!

 

[Greeley]

Skiing is what started our relationship, so I guess it has helped our marriage. We started dating after a group ski trip in 1987 to Park City, and he proposed at the top of the Snowbird tram in 1990. We have been skiing happily ever after since then...

 

[cyn]

I think any activity that my husband and I enjoy doing together helps our marriage. It has to be about more than just paying the bills etc. I am a firm believer in having fun together and sharing new experiences (read ski trips to new places).
He is one of those skiers who can ski anything, anytime, including some hairy off piste stuff. I am good, but not that good. There were times, especially when we were first married, when I would get angry with him for getting me into situations I didn't think I could handle, but I became a much better skier for it. Now we are better matched, although once in a while, I still have to say "I'll meet you at the bottom."

 

[Shellski]

Skiing was responsible for my marriage too, we met through skiing friends, got married in Vail, and spend almost every wedding anniversary skiing. We are each other's favourite ski buddies.

And when we are not actually on the slopes we both like shopping for ski gear too!

 

[IntheClouds]

I'll let you know. I think by now it's something my non-skiing husband can adjust to. We worked this out 20 yrs. ago when I was heavy into competition with my show jumpers. But, maybe he will decide to try it. I think he is eyeing the calendar for golfing while I'm skiing though.

 

[Grace Elventhing]

My husband and I took up skiing because we lived in New England and wanted to do something other than huddle indoors during the long, cold winters. But we did not learn at the same pace. :(

He was more aggressive and I was more interested in good form . I was pretty fearful, too.

We went through a "You can ski this - just do it!" (him) period , followed by a "I think I'll ski alone" (me) period .

But eventually, our skills and pace caught up with each other's. Now we ski together a LOT and really enjoy it.

So skiing has definitely been a very good thing for us. :cheer:

And that's enough smilies for this year.