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Getting worse season after season

Edana74

Diva in Training
Hi Ladies,
I picked skiing back up about 10 years ago, going about 1 week per year. Then had the fortune to spend part of a winter living near the ski resort and teaching beginning skiing.
I did ok that year and progress to a confident skier on most blue terrain. But still not good enough to pass my Level 1 exam due to the bumps.

Now each year, the first few days of getting the season going it’s like I’m completely starting from scratch. Plus my husband went from 0- never seeing snow to all mountain snow boarder in 3 seasons. He is frustrated that I can’t keep up and can’t seem to improve. Most of the time he is supportive, as he is a snowboard instructor, but it always degrades into us stuck on some run with me in tears, skiing in the backseat, after he can critiqued every turn. Not good.
Do any of you know of people that just can’t ski. Maybe I’ll never be a good skier, or maybe now it’s all the pressure.

My stradegy is to go back to basics. Get on the Easy greens and re program my brain to have the proper stance and relaxed legs. Then I naturally want more speed and steepness as I feel more comfortable.
But my husband is convinced that my fear needs to be confronted and conquered and that I’m not pushing myself hard enough.
Any advice?
It seems like the way it’s going I’m going to be back skiing the magic carpet soon.
I look forward to your advice, thank you!
 

mustski

Angel Diva
That kind of regression seems really odd to me. Has anything changed with your equipment? Do your boots feels loose?

A lesson would be a good idea -with a very experienced level 2 or level 3 instructor who can do a movement analysis and help you figure out what's going wrong. A lot of us feel rusty the first few days out every season, but that should go away as you ski and loosen up.
 

nopoleskier

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Hi and Welcome! I'm with @mustski how are your boots? and skis? I do teach and do 'tune ups' with my returning students every year.
Skiing should not be Pressure from anyone! The Only pressure is on your edges!!

I'd suggest Let your husband go off and challenge himself. You stay comfortable where you feel the best! Skiing is individual and you don't have to do double blacks to have a great day. There are no rules except Safe and Fun! Hope you can get a class w/good instructor and get it sorted out and find the fun and joy in skiing!
 

sibhusky

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
There's no clue to your age and general fitness level. Speaking as someone that's reverting, those are my main issues. Every year, it's now many more days until I can return to an earlier year's comfort and confidence level. But I know the problem is fitness. Your problem is probably that you're only skiing one week a year (I ski 50-70 days a season). There's no way for you to get back to where you were on your 5th day last year until.. guess what...the fifth day this year. Add in age and it might be day 6. To combat this, you might be able to get away with ski-centric pre-trip conditioning, but that only helps your muscles, not your head space. Perhaps watching YouTube videos a lot might get you at least thinking about skiing and how your body needs to move, but the best way is to have pre-ski trip ski days.

If you're actually now skiing a longer season than a week, I'd look at shedding hubby until you're ready to be challenged. I won't ski with anyone at all until mid January myself and even that is pretty iffy and selective. At that point, they better be female, in fact, and not the competitive type. Males might be okay in February. (But I'm in my late 60's. When I was younger, the process was far faster. I remember a time when I was ready by day 3 or 4.) I prefer to work through my head issues ON MY OWN. I might be ready for lessons in late February. I'll know when I'm ready and I can assure you it won't be early in the season. I would be wasting my money to have lessons before my head is in the right place.
 
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Jenny

Angel Diva
Tell him to leave you alone. I think your strategy is a good one. And when you feel ready to challenge yourself, don’t do it with him the first time. Go with a great friend or a lesson.

People are different, and it sounds like the more your husband pushes, the worse you're going to react and then it's just a vicious circle.
 

Christy

Angel Diva
^^^
Ditto.
1. Stop skiing with your husband.
2. Take lessons. Time on the hill is good, but I don't think there's any substitute for instruction. Do group lessons if the cost of privates is prohibitive.

You might never be as good as you want to be. I started as an adult and am not a natural. Some of aren't, others are. I've met people who have skied only a few years that are better than me. There are plenty of factors that go into this. But if the goal is to have fun, and to be able to confidently ski blues, I think anyone can do that. Lessons+time on the hill+don't let your husband push you=you will improve.

Are you still only getting a week a year? I agree with @sibhusky --if that's the case, it will be hard. It's just not enough time.

But my husband is convinced that my fear needs to be confronted and conquered and that I’m not pushing myself hard enough.

I almost don't know where to begin with this. Is a person afraid of flying magically cured if someone forces them on a plane? How about a person afraid of snakes--do they just need to suck it up and handle snakes? No. (Does he have a fear like this that you can use as an example?). If you start down a slope where you are actively fearful, that is a recipe for disaster. Doing that is not going to make you a better and less fearful skier. UGH. There are ways to work through fear; a lot of Divas like this book https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1537420542/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_bibl_vppi_i0

(This is actually a rather sensitive topic for me as I have a fearful dog, and strangers like to say things like, oh, he just needs to be around (scary thing) more. THAT'S NOT HOW FEAR WORKS IN MAMMAL BRAINS.
 

Edana74

Diva in Training
Thank you all so much for all your comments. Gear:
I’ve always struggled with boots. I have very bony feet that move around a lot in my boots. I spent quite a bit on custom insoles etc but there may be more tweaking needed.
I went to longer power skies and that seemed to help tremendously in the normal PNW variable snow but this week we are skiing groomers at Sun Valley, so I’m back on my carving skiis, that are 153. They tend to chatter and go awry when I hit variable snow but throws me off my already tenuous balance.
Fitness:
I do have body issues. Torn ACL skiing in my 20s that never had a repair. But it does ok, and my overall cautiousness it to make sure I don’t break myself. Otherwise I don’t tire too badly. But maybe I’m just being conservative due to old injuries. However I do find when I am dialed in skiing properly it is easier! And when I’m in the backseat is makes it a lot harder on my body.

I plan on getting another lesson this week and ditching the pressure. I’ll ask for someone that is honed in on movement analysis! Great suggestion.
Thanks again ladies.
Any one know a good instructor at Brundage mountain?
cheers!
 

Christy

Angel Diva
I have very bony feet that move around a lot in my boots.

Oohhh you need to get to a bootfitter. Feet that move around=no control=scary.

If you are at Sun Valley now--first, another Diva just report the skiing there is really tough right now due to the ice. But we go there, and I always take a weekday group lesson that ends up being private since there are so few people there on weekdays. This is a good tactic in general.
 

newboots

Angel Diva
My beloved felt it was useful to take me on trails that i couldn't ski (which always surprised him!). It's not.

I'm a psychologist who worked extensively with PTSD. There is all kinds of information (most of it in that book above) that describes in neurological detail why your husband's approach won't work. And is likely making things worse.

You have all the good advice you need! Lessons, sans husband; more skiing (do you live anywhere near a ski area or even indoor dome?), and practice doing things that are fun!
 

HikenSki

Angel Diva
Yeah, ditch the husband and find some lessons. After a few runs this season I've told my husband to run off and do his own thing. He wants more challenging terrain, to go fast. I am more of a laid-back skier, prefer cruising, feeling the wind in my face, stopping to smell the roses. There are times I feel the rush to ski fast and aggressive, but it's rare. We are happier doing our own thing. Sure it might be lonely, but I'm not resenting my husband trying to point out my flaws (like he doesn't have his own?!) or feeling like I'm making him wait all the time.

I agree with getting your boots checked. My feet were sliding around quite a bit by end of last season. It was making me nervous not feeling that connection to my ski. Got some nice snug boots this season and wow, what a difference!
 

mustski

Angel Diva
Oohhh you need to get to a bootfitter. Feet that move around=no control=scary.
.
Second this! It's why I asked that question. I have always had a problem getting boots that were narrow enough for my feet. They would start out great and then - after about 20 days of skiing- the heel and ankle movement would start. It felt like the more I knew, the worse I skied. It is near impossible for anyone - other than an expert skier - to control a ski with boots that are too loose. It sounds crazy but it's worth it to see a good boot fitter and start over. Not just a shop that sells boots but a fitter who can find exactly the right boot for your foot and make it work. Where are you located? We may be able to recommend someone.

Now for the DH! Tell him you want to ski alone to warm up. Then do a few runs where you can ride the chair together. If that doesn't work, just meet for lunch. Be honest with him .. I love you and I want to stay married so we need to ski separately for awhile so we can both have fun.

Yes, yes, yes to lessons. That can only help.
 

Edana74

Diva in Training
I have to thank you all so much.
Diva Christy I’m already about 100 pages into the book and it speaks exactly to what I’m experiencing, ie: the ever decreasing range of my comfort zone.
Her sine wave progressions taking you out of your CZ, using one or two factors at a time is brilliant. And I discovered is somewhat what I was doing a few days ago on my own.

Diva Mustski,
We live in Bellingham Wa. So I am fortunate to get to Mt. Baker at least once every two weeks and I assume I can find an excellent boot fitter in town. My boots are on their 3rd season and they, depending on the socks I wear, have a lot of room, especially in the heel and toe box.
 

nopoleskier

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I have to thank you all so much.
Diva Christy I’m already about 100 pages into the book and it speaks exactly to what I’m experiencing, ie: the ever decreasing range of my comfort zone.
Her sine wave progressions taking you out of your CZ, using one or two factors at a time is brilliant. And I discovered is somewhat what I was doing a few days ago on my own.

Diva Mustski,
We live in Bellingham Wa. So I am fortunate to get to Mt. Baker at least once every two weeks and I assume I can find an excellent boot fitter in town. My boots are on their 3rd season and they, depending on the socks I wear, have a lot of room, especially in the heel and toe box.


Definitely get the boots squared away. You do not want your heel lifting! Loose feet in boots will wreck your skiing! My toe box has room for me to wiggle my toes and put a toe heater on but nothing sloppy. One foot sometimes I have to wear a "fat' sock while the other foot wears regular.
 

newboots

Angel Diva
Search around here - there's a list of recommended bootfitters. Try to find one who is really superior, because you have difficult feet.
 

BMR

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Ah, the husband!!! I have one of those as well. Progressed much more quickly than me, and it took multiple conversations to let him know I will NOT be pushed beyond my comfort zone, and I will push myself when I am good and ready. I send the kids to ski camp, send husband to rip up the blacks to his heart's desire, and enjoy my time going at my own pace listening to classical piano as I ski (very low volume so I can still hear what's going on around me) to relax and remind myself to not rush the turns. It's a much better experience.
 

newboots

Angel Diva
Mr. Blizzard, my beloved, doesn't insist that I scare myself, but he consistently believes I'm ready for things that I'm not. Many a ski day included tears or swearing. I recently told him that he was a determined, but not-good, teacher. He is starting to come around.
 

just jane

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I got new boots at the start of this season and the improvement in my skiing has been mind-boggling! I was pretty sure my old boots were holding me back - I was surprised to learn how much! So I heartily second/third/fourth the bootfitting advice.

I also feel you on the husband. I can totally see mine giving me similar advice. He probably has said nearly identical words. And that’s when I'm all, okay, I love you, time to split up, see you at lunch. Usually we carry walkie-talkies so we can split up without having to plan too far ahead. It’s a bit tricky though because I do like to push myself a bit, and I don’t like venturing into harder terrain on my own. I just want to decide for myself how much I feel like progressing and pushing myself and then get support instead of badgering on the run! I get that from him maybe half the time. :thumbsup:
 

Mishia55

Diva in Training
I just started skiing 4 years ago at the age of 45 and thanks in part to my husband’s ‘pushing’ I have been able to progress from the bunny hill to intermediate blues and the occasional black.

Saying that though … I never really know ‘who’ is going to show up on the mountain on any given day.

Despite having all the required skills, ski gear, and putting in over 30 ski days per season at multiple resorts, there are days when I making Z turns down a flat green trail like a first-day skier when the prior day I was skiing blues without any issues.

It’s not all doom and gloom though – here are a couple of things that did work for me.

1. Start your day on a freshly groomed blue run
It will give you a boost of confidence and set you up in the ‘right’ stance for the day

2. Try to spend as much of the morning on blue runs
Pick blue runs that you are familiar with or redo any blue runs that you like

3. Use an app like FatMap to determine the pitch of the runs on a mountain
I’m fine with anything below 23 degrees but get a bit uncomfortable above 25

4. Avoid breaks early in the day
Once you have a rhythm going don’t stop for coffee or snacks if possible

5. Switch to greens after lunch or when you feel tired
Try to avoid really flat greens and cat tracks as sometimes they are harder to ski – making you think you can’t ski properly anymore

6. Conditions matter
Low light, wind, tracked runs can make a mountain feel completely different

7. The first run is not indicative of the remaining runs
I’ve had really bad starts to the day only to have an amazing remainder of the day as conditions (both mine and the mountain) changed

8. Don’t beat yourself up
We are our worst critics. If you’re hearing that ‘inner voice’ critiquing every turn you make, go take a break in the lodge and then restart when you're feeling ready

9. Don’t let others spoil your day
Some helpful critiquing from a husband or partner can be good, but if it causes too much stress then it’s probably better to take a break, do a couple of separate runs, and meet up again later

10. Skiing should be fun
At the end of the day remember that this should be a fun activity. Try doing a couple of freestyle runs where you are focused less on form and more on just riding down the mountain and enjoying yourself
 

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