OK, so that says a lot. Thanks for answering. I'm putting on my instructor hat now.
1. Hockey stops with upper body/low body separation.
@Taryn, are you at all familiar with a 60s dance called the Twist?
Here's a bit of nostalgia that probably predates your birth.
Those people are having a blast twisting their bodies in all kinds of ways, with feet and legs pointing to the right while chest and shoulders point to the left.
A hockey stop should involve you doing some version of the twist.
There's no need to get all anal about how to do it right at first.
The thing to do, instead of turning your whole body to get a hockey stop happening, is to turn your feet/skis/legs/thighs to the right while turning your upper body to the left.
Or you can think of this movement as twisting your feet while holding your torso/shoulders stable.
Or you can think of "Doing the Twist" with Chubby Checker.
Try that. Instructors will want you to twist your skis with a specific pivot point, but for starters just try to get your feet/skis to turn while getting your chest to point in the other direction.
The way ski instructors describe rotating the skis without rotating the torso is "upper body-lower body separation."
Once you can get your hockey stops working this way, they will be more precise and strong.
You'll feel this change and enjoy the effect.
2. Linking turns with upper body/lower body separation.
Once you get this separation starting in your hockey stops, start using it in your actual turns.
Your goal will be to turn your skis (and your legs attached to the skis) while NOT turning your torso and shoulders. When you can do this, your skis will grip better. It's magic. Work on turning them all the way,
all the way, to the left, then all the way to the right, for your linked turns.
Being able to do this will enable you to more effectively make short turns with less drama and with less leg stress. You'll be able to complete your turns and slow down with each turn. Completed turns will enable you to stay slow on increasingly steepish pitches.
Learning to ski with separation is a process. It doesn't happen in one or two runs, nor in one or two days dedicated to getting it to work. Keep at it. The results will offer a huge benefit and you'll be able to feel the increase in control you'll have.
3. Skiing slow; controlling your speed with skill, and growing your confidence
Skiing with upper body/lower body separation will enable you to use short turns to stay slow on pitches where you now go too fast, feel out of control, and experience caution and fear.
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Linked hockey stops, with the whole body turning along with the skis, is going to tire your legs out and lead to unintended skidding downhill and unintended left-right travel after the skis rotate. There's not much control with that kind of hockey stop. Add separation to your hockey stops, and add separation to your linked turns, and your speed control will grow along with your confidence.