Serafina
Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I forgot that me + stables = Pigpen from Charlie Brown. I put one foot on a stable grounds, and I can just about see a miasma of dust, bits of hay, sweat, horse spit, mud, manure, and other unidentifiable effluvia rise up around me. A horse *looks* at me, and suddenly it's 20' radius Eau Du Barn. I totally forgot about this. Came back quickly, though.
The 1st lesson went fine. I had it from the stable owner. We started with How To Groom The Horse, including a bunch of brushes and a Hoof Pick. Then moved on to How To Put The Tack On. And then How To Walk The Horse In A Circle. The horse was a 5yo. Not tremendously experienced, but...stolid. Unlikely to bolt into a canter when I ignorantly gave him a firm kick with my heels to get him started going.
Then we moved on to How To Let The Horse Know That I Am In Charge. After a while, the horse decided he would rather hang out or go backwards rather than go forwards. The instructor thought this was just as well, because 1) it showed that he wasn't brainless, and 2) it gave me a chance to learn about human-equine relations. And it involved a horse that was not going to start bucking or rearing, so that was just as well with me.
Then we went into the Theory of Trotting and Posting. I did manage to get the horse moving in a trot, at which point I completely forgot everything I'd just heard about how to Post, and just bounced UP and down and UP and down and UP and down...until I was giggling so hard that I had to ask the horse to stop. Instructor said all her little girls have the same response (giggling) when they start to trot. So I am happy that I remain in touch with my inner 6 year old.
We did the trot again, and this time I remembered - in principle - what to do...but I will say that there is a yawning gulf between theory and execution on this one. I am confident that I will eventually get it.
After the lesson in How To Clean The Horse Up (more brushes and picks, plus washing horse spit off of the tack) I asked her about riding gear. I'd decided not to even try with my ski helmet after I discovered that the bozos who assembled it put the prickly bit of the velcro on the helmet instead of the lining. Idiots. Such an easy problem NOT to create...
I also asked her about my cowboy boots. She said they'd be good for a while, but that something about the English "leathers" (? does this make sense?) wasn't a good match with the cowboy boots, and said what she suggests is Paddock Boots and Half Chaps. She also suggested a saddlery about a half-hour away.
I went right to the shop to see about the helmet. I noticed that they had a bunch of fancy helmets for showing. They seemed to be covered with velour or velvet. I don't intend to show, but I am still possessed with a burning curiosity about how on earth anyone could possibly keep an item like that *clean*. On me, it would be completely filthy inside of 10 minutes.
So I got a helmet that looks almost exactly like my ski helmet, and I talked to them about the Paddock Boots. The Boots led to the Chaps. Then the Chaps led to a discussion of Breeches.
I told them that I thought to ride in my jeans. They looked at each other and then looked at me with sympathy. "You haven't been riding for long, have you?" one of them said.
"Ah, no." I said.
Then they explained that even though the seam on the inside of my jeans seems very little now, after an hour of hard work in the saddle, it will seem like the Rocky Mountain range. And after a couple of lessons, it will seem like there is a knife slicing away persistently on the inside of my thighs. (My words, but this was the general implication of the ensuing discussion.)
To my absolute shock the breeches both fit AND looked good. And were comfortable. They have some kind of patch on the inside of the knees.
So. I'm now down 1 helmet, 1 pair of paddock boots, 1 pair of half-chaps, 1 pair of breeches. They said "You're set!"
and then the paused and said "Well, you're set unless you decide to show."
and then one of them said "Well, or until you decide you want a spare pair of breeches, or gloves, or..."
I said "I'm a skier. THIS I understand. I realized last week I need a pair of gloves with a little rubber squeegee on the thumb to clean my goggles." They wanted to hear all about *that*.
Then one of them said "Well, so you're pretty much set. Until you decide you want a horse, and THEN...."
Looks like this is going to be just the thing for the 8 months I can't ski!
The 1st lesson went fine. I had it from the stable owner. We started with How To Groom The Horse, including a bunch of brushes and a Hoof Pick. Then moved on to How To Put The Tack On. And then How To Walk The Horse In A Circle. The horse was a 5yo. Not tremendously experienced, but...stolid. Unlikely to bolt into a canter when I ignorantly gave him a firm kick with my heels to get him started going.
Then we moved on to How To Let The Horse Know That I Am In Charge. After a while, the horse decided he would rather hang out or go backwards rather than go forwards. The instructor thought this was just as well, because 1) it showed that he wasn't brainless, and 2) it gave me a chance to learn about human-equine relations. And it involved a horse that was not going to start bucking or rearing, so that was just as well with me.
Then we went into the Theory of Trotting and Posting. I did manage to get the horse moving in a trot, at which point I completely forgot everything I'd just heard about how to Post, and just bounced UP and down and UP and down and UP and down...until I was giggling so hard that I had to ask the horse to stop. Instructor said all her little girls have the same response (giggling) when they start to trot. So I am happy that I remain in touch with my inner 6 year old.
We did the trot again, and this time I remembered - in principle - what to do...but I will say that there is a yawning gulf between theory and execution on this one. I am confident that I will eventually get it.
After the lesson in How To Clean The Horse Up (more brushes and picks, plus washing horse spit off of the tack) I asked her about riding gear. I'd decided not to even try with my ski helmet after I discovered that the bozos who assembled it put the prickly bit of the velcro on the helmet instead of the lining. Idiots. Such an easy problem NOT to create...
I also asked her about my cowboy boots. She said they'd be good for a while, but that something about the English "leathers" (? does this make sense?) wasn't a good match with the cowboy boots, and said what she suggests is Paddock Boots and Half Chaps. She also suggested a saddlery about a half-hour away.
I went right to the shop to see about the helmet. I noticed that they had a bunch of fancy helmets for showing. They seemed to be covered with velour or velvet. I don't intend to show, but I am still possessed with a burning curiosity about how on earth anyone could possibly keep an item like that *clean*. On me, it would be completely filthy inside of 10 minutes.
So I got a helmet that looks almost exactly like my ski helmet, and I talked to them about the Paddock Boots. The Boots led to the Chaps. Then the Chaps led to a discussion of Breeches.
I told them that I thought to ride in my jeans. They looked at each other and then looked at me with sympathy. "You haven't been riding for long, have you?" one of them said.
"Ah, no." I said.
Then they explained that even though the seam on the inside of my jeans seems very little now, after an hour of hard work in the saddle, it will seem like the Rocky Mountain range. And after a couple of lessons, it will seem like there is a knife slicing away persistently on the inside of my thighs. (My words, but this was the general implication of the ensuing discussion.)
To my absolute shock the breeches both fit AND looked good. And were comfortable. They have some kind of patch on the inside of the knees.
So. I'm now down 1 helmet, 1 pair of paddock boots, 1 pair of half-chaps, 1 pair of breeches. They said "You're set!"
and then the paused and said "Well, you're set unless you decide to show."
and then one of them said "Well, or until you decide you want a spare pair of breeches, or gloves, or..."
I said "I'm a skier. THIS I understand. I realized last week I need a pair of gloves with a little rubber squeegee on the thumb to clean my goggles." They wanted to hear all about *that*.
Then one of them said "Well, so you're pretty much set. Until you decide you want a horse, and THEN...."
Looks like this is going to be just the thing for the 8 months I can't ski!
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