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ACL reconstruction, recovery and depression

JaneB

PSIA 1 Instructor, Killington
My sympathies! I tore the ACL and meniscus, plus bone bruising, 10 years ago. I had a very rough time accepting the limitations. It was helpful to break my recovery down into small chunks. It felt great to go from non-weight bearing to weight bearing, etc.

Listen to your body; be proactive with the health professionals. You will know when you are getting better.
 

snowski/swimmouse

Angel Diva
My sympathies! I tore the ACL and meniscus, plus bone bruising, 10 years ago. I had a very rough time accepting the limitations. It was helpful to break my recovery down into small chunks. It felt great to go from non-weight bearing to weight bearing, etc.

Listen to your body; be proactive with the health professionals. You will know when you are getting better.

+1 Follow all instructions to the letter, but let the professionals know of any concerns, a therapy exercise that's seems to be too much/too soon, tell the Dr. if something changes in the wrong direction...
Everyone's recovery is unique and for divas, always too slow!
But divas can also be your best support; Let us know how you're doing! Divas care!
 

judysj

Diva in Training
I've been lurking and finding all of these replies so helpful as I'm 10 weeks past tearing my ACL/meniscus/bone bruising (at Mammoth, Thanksgiving day) and 3 weeks to my surgery. I love the comment about being queen of PT, because that's been my approach to dealing with the depression/loss too (I'm the only 50-year-old woman in the sports rehab with a bunch of high school and college athletes - I can't help fighting to be competitive). I'm a little nervous about my doctor's and PT's mandate to have me back in PT a week after surgery. Has anyone else done that? Please share your pros and cons? It's frankly so helpful to know I'm not the only one going through this. :smile:
 

snowski/swimmouse

Angel Diva
Both times I've started PT the day after surgery and been glad to do so! Believe me, they'll start you off lightly and gently and you'll know what you can do at home. This should be the least of your worries! At 60 and 63 when I had my two surgeries, I was the odd one out amongst the kids. but I really looked forward to being there as I worked back to my skiing, biking and swimming. There were also people who'd had knee replacements, but all or most didn't have my objectives.
 

snowski/swimmouse

Angel Diva
This injury sucks.
At the very least, you can probably wrangle some massage from the PT session, which imho is invaluable for breaking up scar tissue. Plus, it's nice to feel like you're doing something.

+1 on the massage part of PT, definitely invaluable and I'm getting some of that currently!
 

Tvan

Angel Diva
Welcome to the forum! I don't have first-hand experience with this type of injury, but others here have, and in typical ski diva fashion, they are offering encouragement and useful, practical advice.

In case you are looking for another kind of diva diversion, we are particularly good enablers when it comes to any kind of ski-snow-winter related purchases. Be sure to check out the "jacket slut" thread for several years of non-stop enabling.

Welcome again - let us know how you're doing!
 

judysj

Diva in Training
In case you are looking for another kind of diva diversion, we are particularly good enablers when it comes to any kind of ski-snow-winter related purchases. Be sure to check out the "jacket slut" thread for several years of non-stop enabling.
I think buying new gear is a great diversion (and incentive). :D Thank you for the suggestion!
 

Divegirl

Angel Diva
Welcome! I am in the midst of recovering from knee issues, not on the level you are dealing with but arthritis and severe inflammation brought on by playing softball last summer/fall.

I had my knee scoped in Dec and have been in PT since before the scope. Cortisone shot in the fall did nothing. Recovery has been slow (or at least slower than I would like) - 7 wks past surgery and I still cannot walk or stand properly and the knee is still rather swollen and locked. I am still using a cane to get around. I am in PT 2x/wk and recently started pool PT 2x/wk. I was given exercises to do 5x/day immediately after surgery by the surgical center's athletic trainer. I restarted PT 10 days after surgery and it was that long only because of Christmas. I am also only supposed walk no farther than 5 telephone poles w/o a cane or crutches per day.

There have been successes - I am regaining range of motion, walking up stairs is getting easier, I can put my pants, socks and shoes on while standing up, I am beginning to show signs of walking normally, I no longer have to ice the knee constantly and I am working on ditching the cane. I have a heavy duty compression support I wear for "heavy" activity - lots of walking/standing and yesterday, shoveling snow.

There has also been a lot of tears, venting and in my case, eating, as I am a stress eater. I have a lot of frustration, fear, anger and sadness that all periodically bubble up. Frustration at the slowness of my recovery, anger that I cannot do any activity (no skiing this year) other than necessary activities and being stuck in the house w/ ice packs, fear that this is the "new normal" and my knee will dictate what I can and cannot do and a lot of sadness as I remember how active I was before the arthritis and inflammation and how little I can do now.

Everyone keeps telling me - time and patience but it is hard to be patient when there is so much you want to do/need to do. I have struggled w/ being happy w/ my successes and my pool PT and little walks.

Everyone here has been wonderful and helpful. Even though I can't ski this year, I still poke around here and daydream about gear and trips.
 

snowski/swimmouse

Angel Diva
Shoveling snow so soon! :fear:

There has also been a lot of tears, venting and in my case, eating, as I am a stress eater. I have a lot of frustration, fear, anger and sadness that all periodically bubble up. Frustration at the slowness of my recovery, anger that I cannot do any activity (no skiing this year) other than necessary activities and being stuck in the house w/ ice packs, fear that this is the "new normal" and my knee will dictate what I can and cannot do and a lot of sadness as I remember how active I was before the arthritis and inflammation and how little I can do now. .

Oh, I can soooo relate to all of the above over my last 11 months! But, it does get better, especially for determined divas...

:hug:
 

atomicRacer

Diva in Training
My recommendation is to start PT as soon as you can. The next day, if possible. It's always helpful!
Welcome! I am in the midst of recovering from knee issues, not on the level you are dealing with but arthritis and severe inflammation brought on by playing softball last summer/fall.

I had my knee scoped in Dec and have been in PT since before the scope. Cortisone shot in the fall did nothing. Recovery has been slow (or at least slower than I would like) - 7 wks past surgery and I still cannot walk or stand properly and the knee is still rather swollen and locked. I am still using a cane to get around. I am in PT 2x/wk and recently started pool PT 2x/wk. I was given exercises to do 5x/day immediately after surgery by the surgical center's athletic trainer. I restarted PT 10 days after surgery and it was that long only because of Christmas. I am also only supposed walk no farther than 5 telephone poles w/o a cane or crutches per day.

There have been successes - I am regaining range of motion, walking up stairs is getting easier, I can put my pants, socks and shoes on while standing up, I am beginning to show signs of walking normally, I no longer have to ice the knee constantly and I am working on ditching the cane. I have a heavy duty compression support I wear for "heavy" activity - lots of walking/standing and yesterday, shoveling snow.

There has also been a lot of tears, venting and in my case, eating, as I am a stress eater. I have a lot of frustration, fear, anger and sadness that all periodically bubble up. Frustration at the slowness of my recovery, anger that I cannot do any activity (no skiing this year) other than necessary activities and being stuck in the house w/ ice packs, fear that this is the "new normal" and my knee will dictate what I can and cannot do and a lot of sadness as I remember how active I was before the arthritis and inflammation and how little I can do now.

Everyone keeps telling me - time and patience but it is hard to be patient when there is so much you want to do/need to do. I have struggled w/ being happy w/ my successes and my pool PT and little walks.

Everyone here has been wonderful and helpful. Even though I can't ski this year, I still poke around here and daydream about gear and trips.

Hi Ladies,

I hadn't popped in to write in a while and I love all of the posts! My household was sick with passing the flu (besides me) for over 2 weeks and the days I had a quiet moment to reflect, I didn't log on and try to reply. I had many ups and downs in that time and now realize that I should've. Maybe I wouldn't have had so many downs in those days. It's been an emotional roller coaster the past few weeks - good days, and then some BAD. :(

Thank you to all of you wonderful ladies for sharing some helpful advice. I know Altagirl wrote a key piece of advice that I didn't realize until the second week post surgery and that was to get my leg above my heart. Laying in bed with my leg up got my swelling down much more noticeably than sitting in a chair with my leg up on an ottoman or another chair. I mistakenly thought that by just moving to the living room and sitting up was by some standard a success, but I didn't know that not getting my swollen knee above my heart was not helping at all. So, the swelling is going down... slowly, but at least it's progressing. My doctor did say that it will take months for it to all go away...

Again, thank you for the posts from all the divas that shared your advice, successes and sadness. It's nice to not feel so alone. I recently saw a neighbor walking around his front yard who I heard just had ACL reconstruction too... he is about 3 weeks ahead of me and he was doing yard work! I almost fell apart crying minutes after hearing him say he's been doing really great. He said his range of motion was completely back with only 1 degree of difference! He also did say that his physical therapist said his recovery rate and mobility was "rare". BUT, it still left me feeling crushed. My husband saw it too, and in trying to cheer me up, he reminded me that my doctor said he was happy with my rate of progress and that I have been meeting my milestones. But, it sucked seeing that with my own eyes when I'm still barely walking around like a zombie.

I know a few Divas said another key thought that I have to remind myself about and that is to listen to my own body and also not to measure up against anyone else. I am still trying to take it day by day, but it's hard to see the progress like that. But, I will say, I do see the progress, the milestones are coming.... just SO slowly. Two days ago, I started to drive! So, just a few days after my 4th week post surgery, I drove (with my softer, hinged) knee brace on, and it went fine. I was a little sore from my driver's test my husband gave me, but I have some new freedom and feeling less helpless!
I am just feeling a little bad that I'm not quite ready to get rid of the crutches yet. I'm down to one crutch, but it's either walk at a snails pace or use it to walk a little better.... I DID order a cane to try out to help me through the interim, should be here soon so I'll see how that goes.

By the way, although my formal PT wasn't scheduled for 6 weeks post surgery (starting soon), I will say that I was assigned new PT exercises to do at home since my surgery and with each follow up visit I've had so far. So, to be fair, I have been doing some kind of PT I am supposed to do 5x's a day, for 5 minutes at a time. I am trying to do more as tolerated when I feel up to it. I also hardly have worn a brace while at home (as long as I'm using my crutches), the doctor said that was ok. I use the softer hinged brace if I'm going out of the house for support and 1 crutch as of this week but I will say the brace is uncomfortable with so much swelling still. My knee gets really achy right at the knee after an hour so back to the bed to elevate and ice when I can.

Thanks for reading my posts and sharing your thoughts with me Divas! I really do appreciate it!
 

atomicRacer

Diva in Training
This injury sucks.

The second time I tore my ACL, I (1) knew immediately that I'd torn it and (2) was in so much denial about it that I didn't tell a number of people. The grief is, unfortunately, a process, but you will get through it. I had a subpar experience with my first surgery, which was 12 years before the second, so going in, I knew that I was going to be as aggressive as possible. We all heal differently and at different paces, so other than knowing that we all got through it, I wouldn't put too much stock in how quickly it took one person or another to get to 100%. It's when our expectations aren't met that we experience even more disappointment. And, there is great value in listening to our bodies and letting ourselves wallow when needed.

I echo altagirl regarding starting PT sooner rather than later. Allografts have their own cautions -- because the graft isn't harvested from yourself, you start to feel better faster than people who had autografts, but the graft may still be weak. At the very least, you can probably wrangle some massage from the PT session, which imho is invaluable for breaking up scar tissue. Plus, it's nice to feel like you're doing something.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience Pequenita - I can relate to everything you said! And, BTW, my OS said he wanted to wait for 6 weeks for formal PT so there would be less risk for the graft to not take (I had the allograft). I am ALL for that since I can't bear the idea of the graft failing.
 

altagirl

Moderator
Staff member
It will come! I've had fast and slow recoveries on the same knee. You can't force it, you just have to work with where your body is at on any given day.
 

atomicRacer

Diva in Training
Welcome! I am in the midst of recovering from knee issues, not on the level you are dealing with but arthritis and severe inflammation brought on by playing softball last summer/fall.

I had my knee scoped in Dec and have been in PT since before the scope. Cortisone shot in the fall did nothing. Recovery has been slow (or at least slower than I would like) - 7 wks past surgery and I still cannot walk or stand properly and the knee is still rather swollen and locked. I am still using a cane to get around. I am in PT 2x/wk and recently started pool PT 2x/wk. I was given exercises to do 5x/day immediately after surgery by the surgical center's athletic trainer. I restarted PT 10 days after surgery and it was that long only because of Christmas. I am also only supposed walk no farther than 5 telephone poles w/o a cane or crutches per day.

There have been successes - I am regaining range of motion, walking up stairs is getting easier, I can put my pants, socks and shoes on while standing up, I am beginning to show signs of walking normally, I no longer have to ice the knee constantly and I am working on ditching the cane. I have a heavy duty compression support I wear for "heavy" activity - lots of walking/standing and yesterday, shoveling snow.

There has also been a lot of tears, venting and in my case, eating, as I am a stress eater. I have a lot of frustration, fear, anger and sadness that all periodically bubble up. Frustration at the slowness of my recovery, anger that I cannot do any activity (no skiing this year) other than necessary activities and being stuck in the house w/ ice packs, fear that this is the "new normal" and my knee will dictate what I can and cannot do and a lot of sadness as I remember how active I was before the arthritis and inflammation and how little I can do now.

Everyone keeps telling me - time and patience but it is hard to be patient when there is so much you want to do/need to do. I have struggled w/ being happy w/ my successes and my pool PT and little walks.

Everyone here has been wonderful and helpful. Even though I can't ski this year, I still poke around here and daydream about gear and trips.

Divegirl,

Your last few paragraphs echos my life right now. Thank you for sharing that. I have the SAME thoughts and in my ups and downs, I am trying to stay hopeful with everything. I will say, that I have to find the hope... my family won't be the same if I'm not out there with them to ski or to be doing any sports/activities with them... I have to pull it together for the sake of feeling "normal" for them too. I don't want this situation to be my new "normal" either although I am terrified it will just by the way my knee feels right now. It's definitely a hard feeling to dodge!

Thanks again for sharing!
 

altagirl

Moderator
Staff member
I had an allograft too and it's been there for 15 years. I had a meniscus surgery a few years after that ACL reconstruction and you could see all the blood vessels that had grown into what used to be dead, cadaver tissue. It was pretty cool.
 

snowski/swimmouse

Angel Diva
I had knee surgery (different from yours) last February 28th. At 6 months, I wasn't given a lot of encouragement for further improvement and it really got me down. But, now, 6 months later still, I can tell you that I'm still improving to the extent I'd gotten to believe would never occur. I've also learned that it's possible for more improvement in the next six months. It's REALLY hard to see that where you are now. Be sure to give therapy everything you've got; It does pay off. I had my last physical therapy appointment this afternoon.
:hug:
 

karrie lou

Certified Ski Diva
Hi, I'm so sorry you're going through this. If it helps, I'm right there with you as I've been on crutches for 4 weeks (3 months to go) and I'm about to have surgery (although on my ankle not knee).

Really I just wanted to let you know that I'm experiencing the feelings of isolation and depression as well. Other than family or doctors I can count on one hand the number of people I've spoken to face to face. It's really shown me who true friends are - I've had two visits from friends. And yes, I reached out for help.

The guilt over trying to look after my family, my husband having to take over most of the running of our business, the loss of independence, not being able to go out on my own because I can't drive. It's all valid and it will pass! (Or at least that was I'm trying to believe!) :smile:

Feel free to message me and vent. I'm here - lol I'm not going anywhere and would welcome the distraction! :p

There's amazing advice in the replies - thank you so much for reaching out because I've found some help in there for me too.

Take care and please do reach out if you need any company
 

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