Anxiety

[SparkleBunny]

Count me as a SLOWWW skier also. I think my top speed this season so far is like 15mph, and that felt a little scary, while my friends are clocking 40-50. But that's just where I am right now, and I'm just happy to be skiing at all.

 

[alicie]

Yeah my top speed to like 17mph. Which is isn’t too bad.

thtought I would post an update.

well it’s going okay I guess. I did 5 miles yesterday. And no idea today but probably like 1.5 miles or so. Did an hours skiing yesterday then an hour of the lesson. And just an hour of the lesson today.
I’d like to do the whole lesson which is 2 hours but I’m just so anxious and my thighs are a bit tired and I keep crying. I just feel like I’m inconveniencing the instructor and the other person in my group, as I keep stopping and they have to wait.

hopefully tomorrow will be better.

 

[MissySki]

Yeah my top speed to like 17mph. Which is isn’t too bad.

thtought I would post an update.

well it’s going okay I guess. I did 5 miles yesterday. And no idea today but probably like 1.5 miles or so. Did an hours skiing yesterday then an hour of the lesson. And just an hour of the lesson today.
I’d like to do the whole lesson which is 2 hours but I’m just so anxious and my thighs are a bit tired and I keep crying. I just feel like I’m inconveniencing the instructor and the other person in my group, as I keep stopping and they have to wait.

hopefully tomorrow will be better.

You are definitely NOT inconveniencing the instructor! That’s what they are literally there for, to help skiers improve. Is there a big discrepancy between you and the other person in your class? If so, I would more ask that one of you be moved to a more suitable group so you can each get what you need from your lessons. If the gap is not that large between you then the instructor should be able to accommodate both of you and you should never feel bad for going at your own pace and stopping to regroup as needed.

 

[alicie]

You are definitely NOT inconveniencing the instructor! That’s what they are literally there for, to help skiers improve. Is there a big discrepancy between you and the other person in your class? If so, I would more ask that one of you be moved to a more suitable group so you can each get what you need from your lessons. If the gap is not that large between you then the instructor should be able to accommodate both of you and you should never feel bad for going at your own pace and stopping to regroup as needed.

We’re pretty much the exact same level, he’s just a lot more confident than me. They just have to keep waiting for me because I keep stopping to rest.

I just wish I hadn’t come, I need to lose another 50-100lbs to be comfy I think. I’m about 340lbs at the moment, which is just too heavy to ski for me I think. I’m sorry. It’s one the only things I look forward too, I’ve been looking forward to it for over a year and I’m so disappointed.

 

[snoWYmonkey]

Please don't give up if even a small part of you is eager to ski.

Do you have friends who might join you for physical activities other than skiing that will help you gain the fitness and balance and strength needed to make it more fun to get out into the mountains?

Have you tried cross country skiing? You can walk on them as slowly as you choose. If you find a perfectly flat trail you will not go fast and it is fantastic for ski balance and fitness.

Do you feel that what is holding you back from skiing more/better is technique or fear/fitness? If it is the latter maybe a ski buddy that is the same speed will be more helpful to your progress. Not sure how to best find one but I fully understand how stressful taking group lessons could become as someone who is always fighting to keep up with any uphill activities.

We have your back!

 

[alicie]

Please don't give up if even a small part of you is eager to ski.

Do you have friends who might join you for physical activities other than skiing that will help you gain the fitness and balance and strength needed to make it more fun to get out into the mountains?

Have you tried cross country skiing? You can walk on them as slowly as you choose. If you find a perfectly flat trail you will not go fast and it is fantastic for ski balance and fitness.

Do you feel that what is holding you back from skiing more/better is technique or fear/fitness? If it is the latter maybe a ski buddy that is the same speed will be more helpful to your progress. Not sure how to best find one but I fully understand how stressful taking group lessons could become as someone who is always fighting to keep up with any uphill activities.

We have your back!

It’s definitely fitness and weight. When I was 100lbs lighter, i was anxious but nowhere near as much as I am now, now I’m 100lbs heavier than I was when I was last skiing.

I have no ski buddies, that’s why I like lessons as then I’m with others the same level as me. I don’t mind group lessons I just feel like I’m letting everyone down. I begged and begged for this holiday, and I was so excited. I’d lost 50lbs but nothing in the last year which just frustrated me so much. But I’m losing weight now which is great.

I’m very strong and I’m quite fit for my weight so I manage but I’m just so anxious because of my weight.

I had a good cry in my room before my shower. And I still don’t really feel much better but hopefully I’ll be okay today. Wednesday is a day off for lessons so I should be okay. Then ski Thursday/Friday.

 

[alicie]

Totally missed the cross country skiing bit, sorry.
I haven’t tried and tbh I don’t particularly want to and there’s not anywhere near me to do it anyway.

 

[Jilly]

Or snowshoe. Similar concept...it's walking on big feet. And you can use your poles. Also when the weather is warmer - Nordic walking. Use adjustable poles with a rubber stopper on the end and walk and swing your arms. Makes for a better workout than just strolling along.

 

[snoWYmonkey]

I often tell my students not to dwell on the hard part where they are frustrated but to focus on what felt good and was fun. I know from experience that it is hard to do, but hopefully you leave from this experience with some good memories too and motivated to keep skiing!

 

[alicie]

Thanks guys.

 

[sibhusky]

This is reminiscent of my trip to Lech last March. I was heavier than I had ever been AND I was diagnosed with atrial fibrilation just prior to the trip. I tried desperately to keep up with my daughter and not complain, but I was exhausted all the time. I only skied 3 "days" while we were in Lech. I didn't enjoy myself at all, and getting back to my hotel was so arduous that I was quitting even sooner because of that. It was a nightmare of a trip that I kept trying to put a good face on for her sake. I seriously almost "hung up my skis" for good.

Fortunately, the last day my local resort was open was a fantastic powder day and I actually went. And had a blast. It's the only reason I bought another pass.

In the meantime I got the a-fib fixed, went on a new migraine preventative which actually works, found the bandwidth to seriously take control of my eating, and knocked off 30 pounds (50 to go) It has made a huge difference and I'm back to where I was 4 years ago skiing-wise. So I've skied more, which is helping with the weight loss. So many things all tie together. If the migraines hadn't stopped I would not have had the mental strength to work on my weight.

I hope I continue to improve as I string together more successes. Little tiny victories (like not stopping as often) I mentally check off in my head and they keep me motivated.

 

[newbieM]

I am sorry you had a rough day. I beat myself up too. Im always the slowest in a group lesson. I often get so frustrated with myself I want to cry while skiing.

Is there an option to take a private? Would that at least take the pressure off and you can focus on learning.

YOU ARE OUT THERE SKIING! You are doing it!! Yes you are not where you want to be weight and fitness wise but you aren’t letting it get in the way of you doing something that is magical and such a special experience. So just try if you can not to beat yourself up, when you take a pause look around you, take a deep breath. You are seeing the sites in a mountain that most people on this planet don’t get to. You are being strong and brave by putting yourself out there.

My goal this year is to show myself grace. I mostly ski alone since the group I go with is more advanced. I try not to beat myself up with how slow the progress is. Some days I am just a mess. This past weekend they all did this fun sounding stuff that I couldn’t even do because I’m not good enough. I wish I was.

so I’m just sending you big virtual hugs and I hope you can try to be really proud of what you have accomplished so far.

 

[Iwannaski]

^I think all the advice you have gotten is solid. I’m losing some weight right now and my motivation is my desire to be able to ski until I am older. You CAN ski. You’re skiing. You’re DOING IT.

Please, don’t beat yourself up for what isn’t. CELEBRATE what is and until you’re there, we will celebrate for you. I’ve shared this phrase I’ve heard before: your “before” is someone else’s GOAL.

Sending strength.

 

[alicie]

Thanks guys.

I just don’t want to bloody well do this anymore. Like anything really. Not gonna do anything but I just feel like it.

I was doing so well before I came and now I feel like packing everything in. It’s ridiculous really. But I’m just so disappointed and sad about how I feel about skiing at the moment.

I seem to be so eager to ski when I’m not doing it but when it comes down to it I hate it. I know I hate it because of my weight, so at least it’s a fixable thing. I just I dunno. I need to lose about 60-70lbs and I should be okay. I want to lose a 125lbs total. But if I can lose 50-60lbs this year I’ll be super happy. Then at least I’ll be able to ski comfortably next year.

the other guy in the group is actually slower than me. But I keep stopping, so it makes sense to let him go first.

I’m just a bit frustrated that I’ve been skiing since I was 3 (that’s 24 years but with various breaks in between). But I’m no further on than a guy whose on his 3rd holiday. We used to go 2-3 weeks a year so that’s like 15+ weeks I’ve been, and that’s not including the times I haven’t been.

im just pathetic really.

 

[Knitjenious]

Hugs @alicie . I truly understand that feeling of having been so excited about a ski trip and then struggling and feeling so disappointed. (See recent thread of me lamenting over my women's clinic trip complete with being the slowest, heaviest one and some good bathtub crying.) Feeling like you had been a stronger skier in the past, that your body just isn't cooperating, the joy of skiing eluding you. Oof, it's a low place and I am so sorry you are finding yourself there. It's crushing.

The thing about anxiety is brains are big ol' liars sometimes. I know that you cognitively know you are NOT pathetic -- skiing is hard, you are putting yourself out there to learn (and learning is also hard!!), you are allowing yourself to push your body to it's personal limits but also listening to its limits and setting healthy boundaries by resting when you need to. Those are all really brave things! But I also know that me saying that can't erase the feelings you are experiencing. And when those feelings are pushing you outside your window of tolerance, it is going to be really hard to learn new things.

I hope you are able to find some bit of comfort and release during your trip, that you can rediscover some joy around skiing -- or just joy around being on vacation.

 

[snoWYmonkey]

Maybe the pressure of enjoying skiing is too much right now.

Are there any activities you enjoy doing or want to try that you can do at home a 4 to 5 days a week?

Do you work with a mental health therapist or coach that you like or trust? Sound like too much to manage without some support. Especially the weight loss journey since it is often not a linear one and knowing how to manage setbacks with some helpful tools might be a good time/money investment.

Not sure how it all works as each country is different, but I remember telling myself that I would wait until before next season to find a mellow gym and join because of a shortage of free time and funds. I found a disciunted package and did it this fall and am so glad i did.

It was very hard for me as skiing professional to work up the courage as I have gained a lot during the pandemic and everyone knows evryone in my small town. I would not complete any of our exercises and often had no weights but I did feel better in my body on the drives home.

I hope you find an activity that brings you joy and where you start to feel good about doing it without judging your performance at it.

 

[alicie]

Maybe the pressure of enjoying skiing is too much right now.

Are there any activities you enjoy doing or want to try that you can do at home a 4 to 5 days a week?

Do you work with a mental health therapist or coach that you like or trust? Sound like too much to manage without some support. Especially the weight loss journey since it is often not a linear one and knowing how to manage setbacks with some helpful tools might be a good time/money investment.

Not sure how it all works as each country is different, but I remember telling myself that I would wait until before next season to find a mellow gym and join because of a shortage of free time and funds. I found a disciunted package and did it this fall and am so glad i did.

It was very hard for me as skiing professional to work up the courage as I have gained a lot during the pandemic and everyone knows evryone in my small town. I would not complete any of our exercises and often had no weights but I did feel better in my body on the drives home.

I hope you find an activity that brings you joy and where you start to feel good about doing it without judging your performance at it.

I have a psychologist but no session this week as I’m on holiday.

I bloody love the gym and my personal trainer, but never in a million years would I go to the gym alone. I do go 4 times a week. And I volunteer in a charity shop one day a week too.

 

[snoWYmonkey]

Fabtastic...sorry about the typo but it has become my favorite word!

It sounds like the anxiety is very much skiing specific. This sounds maybe like a dumb question, but are your boots maybe too soft flexing to support you well...or not buckling properly?

 

[alicie]

I think half the problem is if I don’t ski I’ll regret it but when I do ski I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I do want to ski. I plan do at least half my 2 hour lesson tomorrow and Friday. I think I’d be happy with that.

I just was so excited I’ve been waiting since this time last year for this. I actually got on so muc( better in the snow dome in November. Apart from the lift. But the actual skiing (for 45 minutes I did it) actually went quite well.

The other half of the problem is people on green runs (Europe) going too fast, and getting really quite close, which is making me nervous and when I get nervous I go into the back seat. I also find I ski a bit better if the run is less flat, not steep but kinda on the border of a green and blue (again Europe level lol).

 

[alicie]

Fabtastic...sorry about the typo but it has become my favorite word!

It sounds like the anxiety is very much skiing specific. This sounds maybe like a dumb question, but are your boots maybe too soft flexing to support you well...or not buckling properly?

I wondered if they were too soft but the boots fit me great (strolz) so I don’t want to fiddle with that and when I lose weight the boots will be more my level of flex. I am 340lbs so very very heavy.


I have anxiety abou5 everythinggggggg and I mean everything. But skiing anxiety is very much different than my normal anxiety,