I love this Q&A in OutsideOnline, so I'm copying and pasting it here. A long time ago we had a thread about wearing make-up and skiing, and I remember feeling like I somehow didn't measure up because I always wear mascara and eyeliner -- I think I look positively beat without it -- and many people said they would never consider wearing makeup on the hill. So I felt somewhat validated by this answer. I can totally relate to this person.
Q: To be totally honest, I never quite feel like I fit in the outdoors. I am a strong trail ultrarunner, an ecologist, and love spending the day bouldering and climbing at crags. But simultaneously, I love wearing makeup even when I’m in the outdoors, miss my pillow when I sleep in tents, and I can barely tolerate going multiple days in a row without showering. Overall when I’m in nature I struggle to feel like I’m wearing the right thing or acting the right way. I want to be a grungy, outdoorsy woman who rocks greasy hair and unshaven body hair, but it feels like betraying myself and my comforts. I know there’s no “wrong way” to experience nature, but how can I be less self-conscious of my existence in the outdoors without abandoning the things that make me feel like myself?
A: The reason that your interests in makeup, clean hair, and so on seem dichotomous with time outdoors is because our culture has framed things that are stereotypically male and stereotypically female as at odds with each other, and some deeply disturbing parts of American history have shaped our cultural perceptions of the outdoors as fundamentally masculine. In other words, there’s no conflict between nature and femininity (however you define it) at all. But the tension can definitely feel real, especially if the people around you are dealing with their own insecurities; they can project their anxiety about doing things right onto you.
The good news is that you have some great clarity. You know what you need to feel at ease, you know there’s no wrong way to do nature, and you recognize that the real issue here is having the confidence to embrace your preferences—which puts you ahead of a lot of people. Because even if other people’s preferences aren’t the same as yours, we’re all dealing with the same pressure to conform. Maybe the grunge-embracing women (and men) you admire are actually self-conscious in their everyday lives, dressed up, and see the outdoors as a respite from judgment. Or maybe they feel pressure to own gear they can’t afford, or they secretly want to dress in glitter or neon or all black. You can’t know how the people around you feel, but you know yourself, and you can use that insight to help break the clichés of what it means to be (and look) outdoorsy.
Try to soak up confidence from a larger community. Scroll through hashtags like #OutdoorWomen to find people who are embodying gender in a way that feels right to you, or who have the guts to do things their own way. When you need new gear or clothing, consider buying it from woman-owned brands, like Kari Traa and Skida, that put performance and femininity hand in hand. And if you need to, practice being yourself in small ways: each time you go into nature, try a new thing that feels like you, whether it’s testing a new hairstyle or packing your favorite foods. Remember that there are plenty of creature comforts, like body wipes and dry shampoo, that nobody will know about unless you decide to tell them.
Q: To be totally honest, I never quite feel like I fit in the outdoors. I am a strong trail ultrarunner, an ecologist, and love spending the day bouldering and climbing at crags. But simultaneously, I love wearing makeup even when I’m in the outdoors, miss my pillow when I sleep in tents, and I can barely tolerate going multiple days in a row without showering. Overall when I’m in nature I struggle to feel like I’m wearing the right thing or acting the right way. I want to be a grungy, outdoorsy woman who rocks greasy hair and unshaven body hair, but it feels like betraying myself and my comforts. I know there’s no “wrong way” to experience nature, but how can I be less self-conscious of my existence in the outdoors without abandoning the things that make me feel like myself?
A: The reason that your interests in makeup, clean hair, and so on seem dichotomous with time outdoors is because our culture has framed things that are stereotypically male and stereotypically female as at odds with each other, and some deeply disturbing parts of American history have shaped our cultural perceptions of the outdoors as fundamentally masculine. In other words, there’s no conflict between nature and femininity (however you define it) at all. But the tension can definitely feel real, especially if the people around you are dealing with their own insecurities; they can project their anxiety about doing things right onto you.
The good news is that you have some great clarity. You know what you need to feel at ease, you know there’s no wrong way to do nature, and you recognize that the real issue here is having the confidence to embrace your preferences—which puts you ahead of a lot of people. Because even if other people’s preferences aren’t the same as yours, we’re all dealing with the same pressure to conform. Maybe the grunge-embracing women (and men) you admire are actually self-conscious in their everyday lives, dressed up, and see the outdoors as a respite from judgment. Or maybe they feel pressure to own gear they can’t afford, or they secretly want to dress in glitter or neon or all black. You can’t know how the people around you feel, but you know yourself, and you can use that insight to help break the clichés of what it means to be (and look) outdoorsy.
Try to soak up confidence from a larger community. Scroll through hashtags like #OutdoorWomen to find people who are embodying gender in a way that feels right to you, or who have the guts to do things their own way. When you need new gear or clothing, consider buying it from woman-owned brands, like Kari Traa and Skida, that put performance and femininity hand in hand. And if you need to, practice being yourself in small ways: each time you go into nature, try a new thing that feels like you, whether it’s testing a new hairstyle or packing your favorite foods. Remember that there are plenty of creature comforts, like body wipes and dry shampoo, that nobody will know about unless you decide to tell them.
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