Unsolicited Feedback from Man on Chairlift. Grrr....

[SkadiSkiGrrl]

Super annoying incident today, which only you guys will understand. I was at Belleayre going down Yahoo, a run which is labeled a double black but in terms of steepness feels to me like a hard blue or an easy black at a bigger mountain. The left half of the run, directly under the lift, was bumped up and the right half was groomed. I’m an advanced skier, and I have zero issues on steeps and with ice, but moguls are really not my strength. I haven’t encountered them much this season and I really wanted to practice, but I was worried about being embarrassed under the lift. I decided I didn’t care what people thought and I was going to ski the bumps and just take it slow. One thing I know about myself is that I can take anything at all if I go slow.

I’m picking my way down slowly and awkwardly, but I was 100% in control, when a man above me shouts “practice your turns where it’s safer!” He wasn’t ski patrol or a ski instructor — at least he wasn’t dressed as one — and something about his tone was incredibly condescending. Then, when I was getting on the lift at the base of the run, I hear someone call out from the crowd behind me, “I see you made it down alive!” I look up and it’s the same guy.

It was that second comment that put me over the edge. He may have thought he was being helpful with the first comment, but the second one was flat out obnoxious. You would never catch a woman acting that way. What makes some men think it’s ok? Grrr.

 

[SkadiSkiGrrl]

Ask him to take you down the moguls and show you how it’s done. 9/10 chance he’s all talk.

 

[SkadiSkiGrrl]

It’s a beta-male thing, policing women.

 

[newboots]

They are pretty unhappy about losing their male privilege, and are pouting and hitting back. Including at the “highest levels” of society. (See how well I’m avoiding politics?)

I get really tired of the jerks, blowhards, bullies, and mansplaining fools out there. Does everyone remember where the discussion of “mansplaining” came from?

https://newrepublic.com/article/118555/rebecca-solnits-men-explain-things-me-scourge-mansplaining

This guy tried to tell her someone had written
a Really Important Book on a topic she mentioned, and it took very lengthy explanation and insistence before he could even hear Solnit and her friend saying it was HER book he was explaining to her. One of the great moments in feminist history.

 

[Randi M.]

Speaking of mansplaining, did you see the recent twitter chain in which some guy tried to correct the use of the word “vulva” by dozens of women, including a gynecologist and international expert, as well as an artist who took photos of 100 vulvas, saying they should be using the word “vagina” instead? This really happened.

https://www.scarymommy.com/vulva-versus-vagina-twitter/

https://www.thepoke.co.uk/2019/02/11/chap-tried-mansplain-difference-vulva-vagina-takedowns-brutal/

 

[vickie]

O.M.G.

 

[Jenny]

SMH, soooooooooo hard!

 

[TeleChica]

I gotta say, there are advantages to being old and fat. I honestly have never been harassed on a ski lift. I have found that young guys are often super friendly and nice. But I have certainly been mansplained to!

 

[DeeSki]

No unwanted attention on the chairlift this season, but a guy called “good girl” at me out the window of his car when I was cycling home last week. I’m 43. He was stuck in a tailback going the opposite direction and I was probably frowning because the traffic was heavy and who likes cycling in heavy traffic? What on earth makes someone think he has the right to yell dubious encouragement at complete strangers? I was so surprised, I had passed before I even realised he was talking to me. I suppose it’s some small consolation that I had no chance to respond because I was travelling so much faster than he was.

 

[newboots]

Good “girl.” What a dolt.

I’m really tired of this stuff. Some friends were commiserating about it the other day, and every story topped the last one. Ugh.

 

[SallyCat]

I was buying this because I'm trying to stay away from beer for a while and thought it would make for affordable apres (the engraving was free, so I had fun with it). Maybe I should start carrying it in my pocket for whenever some dude starts mansplaining. Just look him in the eye, say nothing, and take a looooooong swig. They just turn and face forward, staring into the distance.

 

[Jenny]

Give a heavy sigh and an eye roll, too.

 

[just jane]

OMG I just got hit on during my bike commute home this evening. Who *does* that?? Guy pulls up next to me at a red light (no escape!), tells me I look fabulous and then asks for my number. Thank gollum the light turned green right after I said thanks but I’m married. Ugh. Dude, I’m 47. Just - no.

 

[ski diva]

OMG I just got hit on during my bike commute home this evening. Who *does* that?? Guy pulls up next to me at a red light (no escape!), tells me I look fabulous and then asks for my number. Thank gollum the light turned green right after I said thanks but I’m married. Ugh. Dude, I’m 47. Just - no.

What I don't get is why anyone would think this would work.

 

[Abbi]

What I don't get is why anyone would think this would work.

Hope springs eternal!??

 

[just jane]

Right??? Not sure what he was thinking.

 

[VickiK]

Throw enough spaghetti at the wall; some is bound to stick.

 

[newboots]

What I don't get is why anyone would think this would work.

Sheer arrogance and overconfidence.

@Abbi - I’m more cynical than you for a change!

 

[DeeSki]

I think I prefer sarcastic encouragement to being hit on on my bike commute. It’s probably the same guys who think that helmet hair is the reason more women don’t cycle to work.

Sorry this has gone way off topic but I think the common theme is that if you are a women engaging in any kind of outdoor activity, you may encounter unsolicited feedback, commentary and even harassment. How to counter this? Call it out when we can and keep doing our thing.

 

[Tvan]

I’ve sometimes used my “please pass the salt” voice and simply said “what did you mean by that?”

The sputtering reply usually gives the option of walking away.