Best Advice From Dear Old Dad

[ski diva]

Father's Day is coming up this weekend. So I was wondering -- what's the best advice you ever received from your Dad? Or the best lesson you learned from him?

I think, for me, the lesson was to keep moving and stay active. My Dad is 91 and pretty much does whatever he wants --swims half a mile 3-4 times a week, plays 18 holes of golf, rides a bike, goes for very long walks -- and I think it's really because he's done these things his whole life. Sure, part of it is just plain luck. Good genes and all that (though his own dad died at 54). He's always placed a great deal of importance on getting out and doing stuff. I think it's what's made a big difference in his continued good health.



So what about you?

 

[VickiK]

Similar. My dad stayed active with dancing and gardening, and always supported my interest in learning new activities.

 

[bounceswoosh]

"Do what you love. But if you can find a way to do what you love *and* make plenty of money, that's even better." - my dad

My dad is 74 and still active. He bikes 7-8 miles around the neighborhood most days, works out at the gym, and walks miles on the beach with my mom. He recently learned to kayak and has been doing that, too!

Also - thanks for the reminder, @ski diva - I have a Father's Day card sitting on my desk that I haven't sent yet!

 

[2ski2moro]

My Dad was a story teller and I learned it from him. I inherited his entrepreneurial spirit. His sense of adventure. His curiosity about the world and people. He also taught me that a woman could do anything that I man could do, long before the Women's Movement began.

The joke in my family is that when I was 6, all I wanted for Christmas was a Barbie. My mom said that I was too young to work and zippers and the snaps on the clothing, and she didn't want naked Barbies in the house. I didn't get a Barbie for Christmas. I got a build-it-yourself Walkie-Talkie to solder together. He believed that I could do anything and encouraged me to try.

My Dad an Mechanical Engineer with a Master's in Aeronautical Engineering. He believed that it was an unnecessary waste of money to hire someone to do something you could do yourself. So he taught me all about power tools, basic woodworking, plumbing and electrical circuits. He taught me to solder copper pipe as well as resistors in electrical circuits. Basically, he taught me home repair self-reliance.

He wasn't too good with gasoline engines or cars, but I learned how to change the oil and other basic maintenance. He taught me how to 'drive like a man' (don't be offended - we all know a girly driver with a bad reputation). I learned how to drive pulling a boat trailer and back to it up like a pro. He encouraged me get my pilot's license, ride a motorcycle, and drive a boat.

He showed me how to analyze a problem, break it down into smaller parts, and think outside the box for the solution.

My Dad passed away 7 years ago at age 88, and I miss him every day.

 

[mustski]

I miss my parents every day also. My dad was a huge supporter of "finding a way" even when the odds were against you. He moved from Ireland to Canada because he fell in love with a Catholic girl and in the 1950's in Ireland - a protestant couldn't marry a catholic. It wasn't illegal ... just nobody would perform the ceremony. He was disowned for that decision ... though only until I came along. I was the first and only female grand baby!

The best thing he taught me ... It doesn't matter what you do when everybody's looking; it matter's what you choose to do when nobody is looking.

 

[Kimmyt]

I don't know I guess never give up? My dad died a few years ago after a reeeeallly long battle with cancer. Throughout all his treatments which spanned over 10 years, he managed to still be a great teacher (with a speach impediment from throat and mouth surgery), maintain his sense of humor, and still enjoy the little things in life. Towards the end of his life he would go out to his favorite breakfast diner a few times a week, he knew everyone there. He had a feeding tube so couldn't eat much, but would enjoy his scrambled egg and coffee. A few years ago I started going out to breakfast by myself, too, just enjoying a half hour on a morning and drinking my coffee. It always makes me think of him. In fact, that's how I spent my morning today!

 

[SkiBilly]

@ski diva...what a lovely photo of your Dad. He looks so happy and twenty years younger!

My Dad was my No:1 fan. He always had my back. He was such a kind and gentle man who was always happy and smiling. He didn't give me any words of wisdom per se but the greatest things he taught me about were unconditional love and also not to sweat the little stuff...tomorrow is a new day kind of thing.

He passed away in 1992 when he was 75 and I was 26 (he was 49 when I was born; old enough to be my grandfather, I suppose), so it's coming up 22 years without him. I still have very lucid dreams where he 'visits me'; much less often now, but still so very treasured.

 

[SkiBilly]

Also, my heart goes out to all other Divas who have lost their Dads too xo

 

[Jenny]

If you believe in this kind of thing, I got a message from my dad yesterday - turned on the radio and heard them telling one of his favorite jokes.

Two Black Eyes
A man walked into work on Monday with two black eyes. His boss asked what happened. The man said: "I was sitting behind a woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye." "Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asked. "Well," the man said: "I figured she didn't want it out, so I pushed it back in."

 

[MaineSkiLady]

He passed away in 1992

As did mine, at age 79.

If you believe in this kind of thing, I got a message..

Totally believe. There are just SOME things that are TOO weird/freaky/Twilight Zone to be coincidental. Maybe I've watched one too many episodes of "Long Island Medium?" But I believe - and I have learned to smile BIG when it happens. Just happened last March, on my mom's b-day. Clear and present message, have witness.

 

[BackCountryGirl]

Not trying to be maudlin, but my dad died at 38, when I was 12 (leaving my mom with 3 kids under 12 at the age of 36). He would be turning 80 this summer. He was ill for 2 years and actually wrote letters to us to be opened when we each turned 16. I read it over every once in a while and he absolutely had me pegged, spot on. His best advice: "You can learn something from everyone you meet, even if you don't think they're as smart as you are! (And you're not as smart as you think you are.)" And, "Treat your mother well; you may not think much of her now, but she's going to be your best ally as long as she's around."

The other thing that my dad taught me is that it is always ok to spend your money on gear for sports!

 

[Jenny]

Not trying to be maudlin, but my dad died at 38, when I was 12 (leaving my mom with 3 kids under 12 at the age of 36). He would be turning 80 this summer. He was ill for 2 years and actually wrote letters to us to be opened when we each turned 16. I read it over every once in a while and he absolutely had me pegged, spot on. His best advice: "You can learn something from everyone you meet, even if you don't think they're as smart as you are! (And you're not as smart as you think you are.)" And, "Treat your mother well; you may not think much of her now, but she's going to be your best ally as long as she's around."

The other thing that my dad taught me is that it is always ok to spend your money on gear for sports!

That is so sweet (and sad, too). My dad died too early, but at least I had him around until my late 40s. I don't remember him ever sitting me down and dispensing advice, but he lived his life such that he'd agree with your dad's first statement, and showing also that everyone matters. He was a school counselor and administrator (the one in charge of kicking kids out and letting them back in) in an underprivileged urban school district and there were times that he was clearly the one who cared about the kid the most, even if family was around. I still remember when I learned he had gone to one kid's graduation and he was the only one there for him. And what it took for that kid to graduate was superhuman.

 

[skibum4ever]

Thanks to everyone for sharing.

 

[alicie]

More practical things really.
First time I drove was in a field taught by him.
How to not to be intimidated one the road but still be polite.
That you must know exactly how wide your car is.
That just because you can pay someone to do something doesn't mean you should and also sometimes you should just pay them.
I am very good at diy and taking apart a shed and creating a whole different shed with the shed you have just taken apart.
I can help put all of a car back together and take one apart.
How to build ikea furniture by yourself.
How lay turf.
That just because you could have an expensive car on finance doesn't mean you should and you'd probably be better off with a car bought outright that is plenty good enough. And just because someone has a better car doesn't mean they're a better driver and that you can drive just as fast as them, maybe not speed up so quick but you can both travel at 70.
That hill walking is one of the best things ever and skiing comes very close.
That you don't need to shovel your drive of snow, unless it's higher than the bumper.
That garages are not to park your car in, they are for bikes and cars that don't run as well as lots of junk (stuff that may be useful one day) and a shed is just an extension of a garage.
That gravel is always good to have in gardens.

There's probably quite a lot of others

 

[bounceswoosh]

Oh, I got this from my dad: "Whose story is this, anyway?" We're a family of story tellers. You use this line when someone interrupts to "correct" some "fact" they think you got wrong.

 

[ski diva]

Father's Day is coming soon, so I thought I'd bump this up.

Anyone have anything to add?

 

[newboots]

My father, who died in 1991 way too young (69), taught me that honesty and ethics were important, and living up to one's ideals was of the highest value. A Depression kid, he taught us to save, never to spend on frivolous things. He taught us that working hard was a virtue, as was humility.

I make him sound so serious! He also wrote an (unsuccessful) comic novel, gave me tonic & lime when they drank gin and tonic outside in the summer, and taught us a great love of the mountains.

This past year, my first year skiing, a trail named Riva Ridge prompted me to look up that name - I remembered it had something to do with ski troops in the war. I saw this picture:

I grew up looking at a picture of my father and some others dressed like that, skiing in the mountains! That's the first time I learned what my father did during WWII. He only ever told us that he backed a jeep into a post, and taught men to swim. He never mentioned Italy, combat, the Tenth Mountain Division, or any of it. I can only imagine what he experienced.

My mother was mentally ill through my later childhood, and my father was our rock. Steady, supportive, and quietly there for us. He was my hero.

 

[VickiK]

Gosh, have you seen the movie about the Tenth Mountain Division? You have to. The one I'm referring to is Fire On The Mountain. But there are others, they're just harder to come by.

 

[newboots]

Gosh, have you seen the movie about the Tenth Mountain Division? You have to. The one I'm referring to is Fire On The Mountain. But there are others, they're just harder to come by.

I haven't seen it, VickiK, but I've read several books on the Tenth. I was so stunned when I first learned this I read voraciously. It still awes and puzzles me. Not the father I thought I knew! And how much he must have hurt, to never speak of it.

 

[diymom]

I got a build-it-yourself Walkie-Talkie to solder together.

Lucky you- I didn't get my first soldering iron until I was in college. My dad had it wrapped up with a note that said "what every woman needs." The next gifts were kits to build speakers and a pre-amp. I haven't done anything with electronics since then, but I guess that was my start in DIY.