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New Mountain and General Skiing Anxiety

I spend way too much time in my head. Whenever I go to a new mountain I instantly freak, OMG where is the easiest trail, where does that chair go, where's the trail map. I try and calm myself down but it doesn't always work. We were headed up the chair at Mont Sutton in Canada when we rode up with the off duty mountain ambassador and she offered to take us around . Nice gesture right but OMG there goes taking my time and finding a nice green to go down. Deep breaths and having the ambasador woman watch me ski and give me some compliments and I felt better. She took us down some blues and greens and it was all good. Same thing though when we went to 2 of the other mountains in Quebec, anxiety of where does that chair go, must have an easy way down, etc but it was better cause it was just DH and I.

I also am very nervous about Diva East because I have never skied with a bunch of people before and worry about everyone thinking I am a terrible skier. I also worry about being able to keep up with everyone, I want to go down cruiser runs and fun blues but what if we go on a black, what if, what if, what if......

Basically I need to go on Xanax or carry a nip with me to shoot at the beginning of each day to calm me down and get me out of my head. The reality of it all is I am a decent skier who has worked very hard on getting better these last 2 years but I get in my head and well its a terrible thing.

I try to take deep breaths and think zen happy yoga thoughts, I listen to music, talk myself through things but I was wondering if anyone else goes through this or if I'm just a special kinda gal.
 
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ling

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Actually, I think you're more the norm than exception.

Sorry, I can't offer much in the way of help. I'm an outlier who aren't anxious about new mountain. I get excited and giddy instead. Lucky me, I guess.

But no, you're not alone. I hear that from just about 90% of my girl friends
 

geargrrl

Angel Diva
(having been in treatment for anxiety a good part of my adult life)
Anxiety is about fear. I've worked with some very good professionals that have given me management tools. When I'm getting anxious, the first thing I do is to stop myself. I mean, really stop- physically, mentally, emotionally. Be quiet and breathe. This allows you to connect with the fear. You may even ask, " what is it I'm really afraid of right now?" I then look at what I can do to address the fear. In your case it might be the checklist and a conversation with oneself. communicate your needs with someone you trust.

This summer I was out with DH and a good friend on a very remote mountain bike ride. I had to wait for them to do the shuttle which I'm sure didn't help. Once we got going, the ride order was DH, Friend, me. I felt an extreme anxiety attack coming on. Instead of trying to suck it up I had to say, guys, we need to stop for a minute as I'm not OK. It took me a few minutes to zone on on my fear of being abandoned that was getting triggered by being last. Once I figured that out, I asked if I could ride second even tho friend is an animal like DH. Friend was very cool about it (his wife is a therapist lol) but it worked out great. Once I got settled and OK, then we were later able to revise ride order. I felt awesome as I spent about six weeks in therapy last spring with a gal who was an anxiety specialist and helped me develop action plans.

I get the social anxiety thing really well. And for people to chime in that "oh, everyone is nice you'll be fine" doesn't really address this issue. Part of you knows that but the other part, the fear part, overrides it.

Good luck, hope this helps a bit. I try and save the xanax for the really bad days.
 

contesstant

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
Welcome to my daily ski world! Even on my home mountain, there are tons of runs I have not skied (off-piste) and I get balled up and scared when people try to take me on them.

I was honestly just today considering taking xanax before I ski to see if I can get over some of my fear hurdles, because they are holding me back a LOT. I actually started taking it when I'd compete on my horse a few years ago, because I'd often blow a class or at least a placing because of my "anxiety". It worked brilliantly, so much so that once I got the feel for how to better ride him in the show ring, I quit taking it, even at nationals, which is the ultimate show for nerves! I've been showing my whole life, but this horse was SO good, I never wanted to screw him up.

So, you are not alone. I'd love to hear if anyone else has tried anti-anxiety meds for skiing anxiety. I'm considering trying it next week when my favorite ski buddy is here who is super chill to ski with, and won't get mad if I have to take a nap instead of ski :tongue:
 

geargrrl

Angel Diva
Interesting. There have been days when I wondered about sports/xanax. I take a 1/4 dose sometime just to take the edge off... but never tried it with sports. The psychiatrist I used to see said to try and see what happens but I never did. Having "tools" has been really helpful. I'm really fortunate in that my above mentioned friend's therapist wife was able to refer me to someone really good.
 

contesstant

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I truly need to gather more tools myself, and focus on them more. I will literally freeze on some runs, even mid-run, and freak out and then not know how to even get started again.
 

bounceswoosh

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I also am very nervous about Diva East because I have never skied with a bunch of people before and worry about everyone thinking I am a terrible skier. I also worry about being able to keep up with everyone, I want to go down cruiser runs and fun blues but what if we go on a black, what if, what if, what if......

I totally get this. I'm always worried about meeting people in person who know me online - what if I come across as a dork, what if they realize I actually can't ski, etc, etc. On the other hand, I met several people here on TheSkiDiva who are now good friends and with whom I ski regularly.

I don't think there will be an "everyone." I don't know how big the group will be at Diva East, but at Diva West last season we pretty quickly split up into more manageable group sizes. There should be people who want to ski mellower stuff. You might actually ask in advance - are there other ladies who would rather stick to blues? Maybe knowing that in advance could help a little.
 

ski diva

Administrator
Staff member
Don't worry about Diva East, @surfsnowgirl . We're all friends here, and no one is going to get all judgey on you based on how you ski. Are you a nice person? Are you friendly? Do you play well with others? Seriously, these are the important things. That said, if you went around crowing about what a fantastic skier you were and got out there and could hardly stand upright, then yes, I'm sure some of us would snicker. And I think you'd agree we'd be justified.

These gatherings are usually pretty free form. Yes, a lot of us ski together. It's not a very large group attending, so this is quite doable. But no one wants anyone to ski anything they're not comfortable with. It's fine to break off and ski something apart from the group or even form your own group of similarly inclined skiers. You can do anything you like. Really.
 

skibum4ever

Angel Diva
I've tried a valium once or twice. Didn't help a bit. I have never taken Xanax, as I've been told it's pretty addictive.

Maybe some of this anxiety of looking bad is part of the reason I've never gone to a Diva gathering, I have some friends who are Divas but we've learned that we ski similarly and know that we'll enjoy skiing together.

I've spent my life chasing DH down slopes that are just a little tough for me. Recently he has stopped doing "killer" slopes, so he is less likely to take me on something that will cause me to "get stuck" with him below yelling "it's not going to get less steep if you stand there" and other things that really don't help, just make me more anxious.

It seems like you have to be pretty good friends with someone to have them ski slowly with you, especially on a powder day, when they could be skiing twice as fast on steeper slopes, with their other friends, and probably enjoying it twice as much.

When we were in Europe where I really didn't know the slopes, and was having trouble with my contacts so had issues readying the trail maps, I was really nervous about getting on a chair and not knowing whether there were any groomed slopes off the top.

Anxiety, me, nah ... well, sometimes. On unfamiliar terrain, me, probably. But you have to keep going past that anxiety to experience new mountains, new slopes, and to improve your technique. So, like @contesstant and other who have posted here, I do occasionally find myself on one of "those" slopes, and suddenly I forget how to turn, even forget how to snowplow.

@surfsnowgirl, thanks (I guess) for opening up a topic that I suspect a lot of us suffer with.
 

contesstant

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I've tried a valium once or twice. Didn't help a bit. I have never taken Xanax, as I've been told it's pretty addictive.

Maybe some of this anxiety of looking bad is part of the reason I've never gone to a Diva gathering, I have some friends who are Divas but we've learned that we ski similarly and know that we'll enjoy skiing together.

I've spent my life chasing DH down slopes that are just a little tough for me. Recently he has stopped doing "killer" slopes, so he is less likely to take me on something that will cause me to "get stuck" with him below yelling "it's not going to get less steep if you stand there" and other things that really don't help, just make me more anxious.

It seems like you have to be pretty good friends with someone to have them ski slowly with you, especially on a powder day, when they could be skiing twice as fast on steeper slopes, with their other friends, and probably enjoying it twice as much.

When we were in Europe where I really didn't know the slopes, and was having trouble with my contacts so had issues readying the trail maps, I was really nervous about getting on a chair and not knowing whether there were any groomed slopes off the top.

Anxiety, me, nah ... well, sometimes. On unfamiliar terrain, me, probably. But you have to keep going past that anxiety to experience new mountains, new slopes, and to improve your technique. So, like @contesstant and other who have posted here, I do occasionally find myself on one of "those" slopes, and suddenly I forget how to turn, even forget how to snowplow.

@surfsnowgirl, thanks (I guess) for opening up a topic that I suspect a lot of us suffer with.
Remember at Mammoth on that steeper blue off chair 25 I think it was, where I just froze and stood there?! You've witnessed one of those moments! Thankfully, I'd probably laugh at that run now and wonder why I was so scared.

Never heard xanax was addictive, but I RARELY take it except once in awhile to sleep at night, so not super worried about that aspect. Don't doubt that it could be addictive, though. Probably why my doc only prescribes about 30 per year to me. Still considering taking 1/2 of one next week when I ski with my friend. If I can increase my bravado by just 50%, I'll be very happy.
 

DanniAB

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
What you just described is EXACTLY what my husband is like.

His skills & body position are good! He just defeats himself in his head, every time.

To helm him out, I signed him up for 3 x 2-hour lessons in November. He liked his lessons! He is much less timid now.

Funny thing however, his body position looks similar to before the lessons - nothing too much has changed... but he has more confidence, so he can ski blacks without the hesitation and always saying "whoa, this looks steep" or "whoa, that's a black diamond sign". The point of my story: The mind can defeat the body.
 

contesstant

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
What you just described is EXACTLY what my husband is like.

His skills & body position are good! He just defeats himself in his head, every time.

To helm him out, I signed him up for 3 x 2-hour lessons in November. He liked his lessons! He is much less timid now.

Funny thing however, his body position looks similar to before the lessons - nothing too much has changed... but he has more confidence, so he can ski blacks without the hesitation and always saying "whoa, this looks steep" or "whoa, that's a black diamond sign". The point of my story: The mind can defeat the body.

Mine does it ALL.THE.TIME.
Drives me nuts.
 

Jilly

Moderator
Staff member
Sometimes it's not about the skill level, but the confidence to use those skills. Lessons can help with what line to take on a certain run. One mantra I got a few years ago....ski the white stuff, ignore the sticks (trees). So instead of looking at the trees to avoid them, look at the snow and where to ski. Just like you would on any run.

So DanniAB's DH found that type of thing out of a lesson. An instructor that can inspire confidence is a good one.
 

Lmk92

Angel Diva
"You may even ask, " what is it I'm really afraid of right now?" I then look at what I can do to address the fear."

Yes!! I've never seen a therapist for anxiety, but I do feel it at times. And this is exactly what I do. I stop - completely - and ask myself, "where is this coming from?" With me, it's usually either money-oriented or social (I'm a really, really bad small-talker, hate crowds and parties, even with people I know well. Sadly.).

"I get the social anxiety thing really well. And for people to chime in that "oh, everyone is nice you'll be fine" doesn't really address this issue. Part of you knows that but the other part, the fear part, overrides it."

Yeah, I get it... Question is: how do you handle it? Because I don't, very well. :(

"Remember at Mammoth on that steeper blue off chair 25 I think it was, where I just froze and stood there?! You've witnessed one of those moments! Thankfully, I'd probably laugh at that run now and wonder why I was so scared."

Skiing with 4 teenagers fixes this. If you can't laugh at yourself, you can't ski with 4 teenagers (hence the "I hate you all!" directed at them last weekend, lol).
 

Serafina

Ski Diva Extraordinaire
I always take the greens when I'm skiing a new mountain. I want to know what they consider to be "easy" before I get into the stuff they think isn't so easy. I also want to check out the resort's snow management, grooming, etc. I think that is just a sensible way to do it.

As far as skiing with other people is concerned, if they're jerks, you can just leave them. If they try to drag you down stuff you don't want to go down, whether or not you feel like you ought to be able to take the run, say "No" and if they push, leave them. I don't think you have anything to worry about from the Divas! People here are constantly sharing stories about crazy stuff and stupid accidents. Go look at some of the threads about yard sales, and see how many names you recognize are posting into those threads.

At some point, you'll realize that you have nothing to prove to anyone, and then everything gets so much easier after that.
 

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