Complete anxiety attacks on the slope--how to deal?

[jenly]

Good morning ladies. I am wondering if anyone can help me with something I experienced this weekend and have experienced several times in my skiing life, although it seems as though the incidents are coming closer together.

This past weekend I was with my family at Stowe and on my first run of the second day I came to the bottom portion of an intermediate run. It is a hill used for races and teaching intermediates--it is a little challenging but I have skied it probably 100 times in my life (I had skied down it the day before) and the conditions with the packed powder were perfect. I got to this section and something clicked off in my head. I can't describe it--it is like I instantly forgot how to ski. More than that, I started to think it made no sense that as soon as I turned my skis to start moving, I wouldn't completely roll down the mountain. I didn't even see how the forces of gravity were enough to keep me standing upright where I was.

I had a complete anxiety attack (out of nowhere) and I wound up side slipping down the mountain. Even when I got to near the bottom where it was basically flat I was still terrified and slipped all the way down.

This happened to me at the end of last season at Killington and I remember trying to get down a run there as well.

This is not the case of just needing a lesson--honestly, I could put a kid through a year of college with the money I have spent on lessons over the years. (I think I had my panic attack at Killington last year on a lovely blue run when just the day before I had taken a two hour lesson on an icy black diamond.) After this incident at Stowe I went straight to the lesson desk and took another lesson with an instructor. It helped only a little because technique was not my main problem.

I read a lot of the threads on this forum about fears of steeper terrain, etc. I empathize with those, but this fear is not that. It is not just gee, I'm scared, how am I going to get down this and where should I turn. It is: oh my god, what am I doing here, how does this even work, what am I supposed to do, how am I not falling off the face of this mountain, I have completely forgotten how to ski.

I learned to ski when I was 30, and over the past 20 years I have experienced quite a few nasty spills as I have tried to get better and ski more challenging terrain. The slopes in the east are frequently icy and hard, so sometimes the spills are bad but I've only really injured something once. I am wondering, however, if all of my prior accidents are somehow accumulating in my brain now that I am nearing 50 and something is throwing a wrench in the gears. I would like to get over this since I don't relish the role of being the skiing gear manager/travel agent for my family without getting something out of it myself.

My husband thinks I need hypnosis or some kind of intervention like that. Has anyone heard of this kind of irrationality and can you recommend a resource that might help me?

Thank you so much.

 

[Pequenita]

My husband thinks I need hypnosis or some kind of intervention like that. Has anyone heard of this kind of irrationality and can you recommend a resource that might help me?

I was thinking along those lines, too, or sports psychology or meditation, because what you are describing sounds debilitating. I'm sorry this happens to you.

 

[Gloria]

What often happens in a situation like this is people will draw their shoulders upwards and tighten the muscles in the chest, neck and upper back. This leads to shallow short breaths and less oxygen, the higher carbon dioxide levels start the feelings of anxiety and then the mental side takes over from there. Once this happens the breath becomes shorter and quicker and the response heightens from there. The best way to overcome is to take a minute and relax your neck and shoulders and concentrate on taking deep breaths, as you start skiing concentrate on your breathing and shoulders only. You have skied it many times before, you don't need to think about every turn or movement, just concentrate on your breath.

 

[geargrrl]

Gloria is spot on. I have an anxiety disorder, and "mindfulness" techniques are the most effective non-medication tool that you will have at your disposal. Being aware of what is starting to happen, and taking deliberate steps as noted above, will really help to offset any oncoming anxiety. For myself, I focus on breathing and a quiet mind if I feel something percolating.

 

[Inoffensive Nickname]

^^^ Yep. Identify. Acknowledge. Move on.

A minute inside my head some days: "Crap! Middle of the hill and all I can think about is Sonny Bono...ok, I have my helmet on...that didn't help Sonny. I know how to stop. Must be anxiety. Deep breath. Here we go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o!"

Bottom of the hill is either: "That wasn't so bad. Let's do it again!" or "Let's go work on drills, Chicken Little."

 

[contesstant]

Does it help to know you are not alone? People who ski with me and see me on a good day are rather surprised when I have one of my "panic attacks" and literally stand there on the hill paralyzed. For me, it's usually a perfect storm of conditions (almost always involving low light.)

I have become quite adept at sideslipping, traversing, cussing, and laughing at myself!

I love the tips above about doing some breathing exercises. I need to try that next time I have one of my "moments".

 

[jenly]

Thank you for the support. I will definitely try the relaxing the shoulders/deep breath technique next time. The instructor also recommended the book "In the Yikes Zone" which I see was discussed here a few years ago. I am trying to track it down, which is hard because it has been out of print for a while. I am not sure if she discusses complete panic attacks, but it sounds like a highly regarded book anyway. I need to do something because when I am in this state, just getting down the hill becomes rather dangerous.

 

[Jenny]

I haven't experienced it to the degree you're describing, so this may not work in your situation, but when I was looking down a hill wondering what the heck I'd gotten myself into I would try and plan where I was going to stop after making one turn. Then I did that, and reassessed where the next turn/stop combo was going to be, and repeated until I get down the hill.

 

[SkiBilly]

@jenly , I would like to add my thoughts on a reason why this is happening....it maybe your hormone levels.

Peri-menopause and menopause can do weird things to some women. In my case, a few years ago I had a very disconcerting experience visiting the Apple Store in Sydney...I think it must have been a panic attack. The flagship store was brand new and HUGE with two floors; it was super modern and looked like it was out of the set of the sci-fi movie Gattica. It was packed and I just felt overwhelmed and 'spaced out'. I wanted, needed to get the hell out of there. A few years after that I had a similar experience in Harrods! That place is a surreal, gaudy rabbit warren and I felt panicked as I desperately tried to get out of there. I felt trapped. It should be called 'Horrids'!

I have felt quite unsettled with menopause. The lower levels of estrogen have caused me some angst. I didn't have any issues with puberty blues though, so it's been quite an eye opener for me with how my hormones impacted my mostly rational brain.

 

[maggie198]

I do think that hormones and menopause can play a big part in becoming more fearful as we get older. At least they have for me. I sometimes want to kick myself for having anxiety about a slope or conditions that are well within my abilities. You can have the technique or the knowledge to handle a slope, but the mind psychs you out to almost immobility.

I'm about to turn 60, and my timidity thus far this year is disturbing and frustrating to me.

 

[cheerrabbit]

The instructor also recommended the book "In the Yikes Zone" which I see was discussed here a few years ago. I am trying to track it down, which is hard because it has been out of print for a while. I am not sure if she discusses complete panic attacks, but it sounds like a highly regarded book anyway.

Mermer Blakeslee changed the title. It is called A Conversation with Fear now. I have the book but just purchased the Kindle version for $3 (just working my way through--I find that I read faster on the Kindle than a book nowadays).

ETA: I wish I could help more. I actually took up skiing to help with my fear of going downhill at speed. Mine is more feeling like I'm going to lose control from the speed. I first experienced an awful panic attack riding my dirt bike downhill, so I can sympathize. I haven't experienced one that bad again, but every now and then, I can feel myself holding back.

 

[marzNC]

. The instructor also recommended the book "In the Yikes Zone" which I see was discussed here a few years ago. I am trying to track it down, which is hard because it has been out of print for a while. I am not sure if she discusses complete panic attacks, but it sounds like a highly regarded book anyway. I

The book was republished under a different name. Look for A Conversation with Fear. Also available as an e-book. Definitely worth checking out.

 

[litterbug]

@jenly, that's perfectly awful. I like the idea that it might be hormonally-related, although it sounds like it's been going on for a while. If that's the case, you might see if your doctor can offer some help. I had a loooong perimenopause, and the only thing that helped was prescription transdermal progesterone cream. It really was a godsend. Another possibility is that there's other stuff going on in your life--possibly entirely unrelated to skiing or physical activity--that builds up unconsciously and eventually triggers an anxiety attack.

I also like the idea of backing off, being mindful of your body and sensations, and doing some belly breathing. Studies show that deep breathing from your belly invariably lowers stress, blood pressure, etc., so just giving yourself the space to do it for a while with no idea of physically moving forward might help--at least enough to make you comfortable enough to find the easiest way down the slope without too much suffering. In fact, I suggest spending maybe five minutes every day simply practicing your breathing. That way, when you have to use it as a tool, you'll already have a body memory of what it feels like.

 

[Magnatude]

Ditto for what many others have suggested re hormones, relaxation/breathing techniques etc, also this -- it may be worth seeing your doctor and asking whether your iron/B12 levels need checking. I very recently had a panic attack (while gardening of all things!) for the first time ever, and I thought I was losing my mind. I saw my GP within a day or two, and he instantly ordered blood tests, thankfully doubting my assertion that I was having a nervous breakdown. They showed my iron levels (and to a lesser extent, B12 and thyroid activity) levels had dropped well below normal, which also explained many other things that had been creeping up on me recently. So there could be a perfectly rational, physiological explanation for what you've been experiencing, and an easy fix.

 

[Little Lightning]

I wish someone had an answer for this as this has happened to me for years. I usually start shaking, crying and mentally go blank. A few times I've sat down, curled up in a ball and cried. Now that ski steeper runs and am familiar with the terrain it happens less. However, I froze at Breckenridge a few weeks ago. I totally went blank, couldn't think and couldn't get to another run to ski. I know when this happens to side step and generally get to a point where I can relax and ski. But it didn't happen that day so I side stepped all the way down.

The group wanted to ski Imperial lift on Peak 8 and I refused. I've never been up there, in spite of good snow it was still early season, I wasn't sure of the conditions and these people didn't understand my fear of heights. So I went off by myself. I went to a run I had skied before although it had been a few years. The run wasn't particularly steep, but the snow hadn't been packed out and no one was around. I just stood there and totally went blank. There was just nothing left in me.

The only thing I can figure out was that I was physically and mentally tired, it was my second week of skiing for the season and I wasn't physically prepared for it. I'd had a lot of stress over the Thanksgiving holiday and I was skiing with friends who approach every run like they're on a race course. The conditions were skied off and icy
(by my standards, the visitors thought conditions were fine) so my muscles never really relaxed and my ankle was doing its usual after lunch cramping. I think being alone also threw me off a little.

One thing that does help is for my SO to stay nearby, start turning ASAP, don't traverse looking for a good spot to turn. I usually get stuck standing on my right leg so I stem my left ski to get started. Generally, once I get started I'm ok. If it's icy I look for a pile of snow or ungroomed edges of the run to turn in. I also slow down and focus on making good C turns. I don't care if everyone else has to wait for me.

Good luck, eventually you'll find your own tricks to help you through this.

 

[TeleChica]

I went through a period of having panic attacks in my early 30s and thought I was losing my mind. It does sounds like a classic panic attack with a pretty clear trigger. I found "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" to be an incredibly helpful resource for both understanding what was happening to me and how to manage it. Lots of good advice here too! Good luck!

 

[SkiBilly]

@jenly ....Yes, I definitely second the idea of getting a medical check up with your GP for a blood test to check hormone levels, iron, thyroid...the whole works.

Also, I was thinking that altitude level can impact our physiology.

It always takes me time to acclimate when I sleep so much higher than sea level. I get mild symptoms every time. When we were in Zermatt in 2012 I was quite worried about it as it's the highest I've ever been. However, I was absolutely fine. There is no predictability to how one reacts to being in high altitude.

 

[abc]

What often happens in a situation like this is people will draw their shoulders upwards and tighten the muscles in the chest, neck and upper back. This leads to shallow short breaths and less oxygen, the higher carbon dioxide levels start the feelings of anxiety...

I wonder if you can get to such a high carbon dioxide level so you start hallucinating?

In other words, panic attack caused by oxygen deprivation?

 

[mustski]

I had a complete anxiety attack (out of nowhere) and I wound up side slipping down the mountain. Even when I got to near the bottom where it was basically flat I was still terrified and slipped all the way down.

Since you still felt the anxiety on the flat, it was not terrain related.

@jenly , I would like to add my thoughts on a reason why this is happening....it maybe your hormone levels.

Peri-menopause and menopause can do weird things to some women.

I have felt quite unsettled with menopause. The lower levels of estrogen have caused me some angst. I didn't have any issues with puberty blues though, so it's been quite an eye opener for me with how my hormones impacted my mostly rational brain.

This! I have had anxiety attacks for no reason - mini attacks - while teaching class. I teach middle school theater and my adrenalin gets going and next thing I know, I am short of breath and my heart is pounding. It's horrible. For me, a quick sugar fix (I like grapes) works in those situations. I get a weird sugar low and I become mentally confused. It happens frequently enough that my kids will say, "I think you need some grapes." However, many women need medication to help through this phase of menopause.

I wonder if you can get to such a high carbon dioxide level so you start hallucinating?

In other words, panic attack caused by oxygen deprivation?

She said it happened at Stowe. With an altitude in the 3500-4000 range, that doesn't seem likely. Anything is possible though.

My advice: When it happens, go into the lodge. Take a break. Eat some healthy sugar. Then go back out and start on a green run, cruise and have fun. Then work your way back up. Also, communicate exactly what you said in your post to your doctor,

 

[abc]

She said it happened at Stowe. With an altitude in the 3500-4000 range, that doesn't seem likely. Anything is possible though.

I wasn't talking about altitude related short of breath. If you hold your breath long enough, you're going to feel light headed! The world and the ground you're standing on starts to spin...

That could very well cause panic attack!!!